SUNDAY	MONDAY	TUESDAY	WEDNESDAY	THURSDAY	FRIDAY	SATURDAY
7:00 p.m.	Meet the Face Dick Cheney shows how he can talk out both sides of his mouth out one side of his mouth.	Lick Balls with Matt Chrisews	Lick Balls with Matt Chrisews	Lick Balls with Matt Chrisews	Lick Balls with Matt Chrisews	Lick Balls with Matt Chrisews	America's Animal Planet Earth Life "Deep Cool Bad: Ultimate X-treme Killer Super Sharks" Sharks are seen at shark-cam angles from special shark cameras never before tilted this way, as mercenary sharkhunter Jim "Shark" Sharkey sharks his way so close to sharks he's literally under sharkskin. "It was a shark."
8:00 p.m.	American Family Dad Boner and Fart get into wacky animated antics while cultural references are like Sweet Tarts hung on a string running through their intestines.	The Water Cooler The boss stands around the water cooler trying to crack jokes about the hot new show on TV about a boss standing around a water cooler trying to crack jokes.	America's Most Talented Fetuses Join host Saggy Cooler in the marvelous, wondrousness.	Starvivor America's favorite Donner party! Pauley Shore tries to sacrifice himself so that his mentor Paris Hilton survives. Will his efforts be vain? Who will get eaten? You decide!	America's Next Top Skank Whore The competition heats up as the girls face the toughest challenge yet: vomiting in a strapless gown. Another desperate skank will be eliminated.	America's Favorite Celebrity Deaths NEW! America watches America's favorite celebrities die in America's favorites ways America chooses just for them. Donald Trump chokes on his comb-over.
8:30 p.m.	The Pimpletons DEBUT! If you love "American Family Dad" you'll love this hilarious new animated series.	The Water Cooler Rerun of previous episode.
9:00 p.m.	American Family Dad Rerun of next week's episode.	How Low Can You Go? How much will people do for how little? The payoff reaches an all-time low!	The Big Fat Loser Contestants don't know what it is about ice cream, whether it's the cold or the sugar, but it makes them feel so much better. Who is the biggest spectacle?	He Sucks, She Sucks Dumpy insults Sugar Pie's mother, and when the insults start flying, Crabby takes sides with his son-in-law.	What's Her Problem? Benny picks up a hottie at a party, but his heavy load is really radioactive. Catherine is worried, but Bruce is still waiting for a reply.	America's Favorite America's Favorite Celebrity Deaths	Pop Hell Katherine Hepburn is revived from the dead, by a team of singing zebras with private funding, to play the Wehrmacht. Leonardo DiCaprio guest stars as the dead Hepburn, while a contest is held to see who will play the undead one.
9:30 p.m.	American Family Dad It's more "American Family Dad". You want more "American Family Dad".			Sexy Rich Mindy is the next contestant for Sexy Rich to knock on her door, take her out and see if she has what it takes to be married to a superbillionaire.	Love, in the Family Granny takes Rose to church, while Tucker learns a lesson at the hospital. Dad watches.
10:00 p.m.	Hard Hit Our award mentioning investigative feature piece show. Les Danger goes undercover as a movie star to expose the harsh world of the tabloid press. But who's spying on whom? See the faces when the cameras are rolling!	The OKK Kirsten winces as Kris escapes out the window. Kirk chests up to his dad. Kim's kookies aren't good since she bekame an alkoholik. Klod returns his kar when he diskovers it's black.	Ass Jacks Hosts Josh Phuck and Gnat try to crawl up unsuspecting victim's asses, with seriously funny results captured arthroscopically. You know you want it.	Movie: Shallow Terror, Part 1 A woman living in a platform house over the water tells visitors they are going to be attacked by a giant metal shark.	Golddiggers of 2089 A tribute to America's most beloved celebrities of the next century. Chuck Slider lifts a rock to find his mother.	America's Favorite Celebrity Deaths: Instant Classic Edition	Movie: Shallow Terror, Part 2 The occupants of a platform house over the water await the attack of giant shark made of metal.
11:00 p.m.	Local news.	Local news.	Local news.	Local news.	Local news.	Local news.	Local news.
11:30 p.m.	Sports Bash Fake jocks sound off with real jocks.	Last Night with Carson O'Shitassey Robin Williams, Christina Aguilera, a dead cow	Last Night with Carson O'Shitassey Adam Sandler, Kelly Clarkson, a fish out of water	Last Night with Carson O'Shitassey Robin Aguilera, Kelly Sandler, a dead fish	Last Night with Carson O'Shitassey Adam Cow, Christina fish, a dead Kelly	Last Night with Carson O'Shitassey Fish Sandles, Dead Robins, water on the brain	Handy Sugar Tit Live Host Michael Richards, music Busta Rhymes.