Subject: Wassail, part 2 Dear happy Fighting Pacifists, Come drink to the mathematically proper millennium, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, December 27, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. And if you don't come, just go off and have your crummy old happy new year, anyway. Perennially, Subject: Wassail Ye Merry Fighting Pacifists, At 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, December 20, Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Good will, Subject: Mutual respect Dear friends Come and drink to that, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, December 13, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Affectionately, Subject: Cracks, more or less wise FPs, What'll it be? 8:30 p.m., December 6, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Cheers, Subject: Hungarian style Ismerkedés, A little lesson for making our drinking group more Hungarian. So come spread the Magyar cheer, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, November 29, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Egészségére, Subject: Thanksgiving eve Nomads and pilgrims, Thanksgiving holiday is a very special occasion for the Fighting Pacifists. Since the holiday falls on a Thursday, it means you can stay at drinking group as long as you want Wednesday night! So come let out all the spirits before you have to pay lip and belly service the next day. It starts at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, November 22, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Ungratefully, Subject: Indulgence FPs, For example, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, November 15, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Indulgently, Subject: National Sorrow Drowning Day: Drinking Group Post-Electoral Special O ye Fighting Pacifists, It's a lose-lose-lose situation. So, on November 8, 2000, at 8:30 p.m., at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom, come and celebrate the utter disaffection of American politics. Come and indulge your discontent. Mix liquor with your rancor, spike your spirits with plenty of spleen. To be drunk with discontent -- bitterness, incredulity, fear, sadness, etc. -- can only mean you're all too sober. Condolences, Subject: The path of evil FPs, Come in in the middle at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, November 1, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Your brother in spirits, Subject: Health and well-being FPs, We'll have none of that at 8 p.m., Wednesday, October 25, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Cheers, Subject: Sober words FPs, At 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, October 18, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Cheers, Subject: Prospective facts Dear fellow drinkers, Submit statistics at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, October 11, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Thank goodness, Subject: Fair warning Dear innocent bystanders Do you really need another excuse to come drinking, 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, October 4, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom? xoxoxo, Subject: Statistics Dear concerned drinkers Report of beer production for the nine months ending August 31, 1998, by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms: Total barrels of 31 gallons of beer produced in the U.S.: 137,860,702 Soy bean and soy bean products: 0 Total used: 5,074,013,279 For same period, production of beer in the state of California, in equivalent of barrels of 31 gallons: Make your next contribution to consumption of U.S. production at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, September 27, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Sincerely, Subject: Offending eye Dear flock, Put down that evil literature and come to the drinking group, 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, September 20, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Beatifically, Subject: Reasons Good fellows, Moderation, then, but not for reasons, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, September 13, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Reasonably yours, Subject: Social improvement Dear FPs, So if you're bored by the company, have another drink, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, September 6, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Gregariously, Subject: As if it weren't bad enough Dear FPs, Try to refrain from feeling too good at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, August 30, Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Miserably, Subject: Somebody else, extended FPs of all nations, As for us, let's drink in peace, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, August 23, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Gratuitously, Subject: Somebody else Dear FPs, Thank god we're not Danish at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, August 16, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Skĺl, Subject: Extraspection Dear fellow nationals, I'll be drinking to you at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, August 9, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Up yours, Subject: Half empty half full Dear FPs, Partake in good measure, 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, August 2, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Circumspectly, Subject: Libiamo All, "Be joyful -- a caressing voice invites us warmly to joy" at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, July 26, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. "I shall divide my gaiety Subject: Diplomacy Most distinguished emissaries, We will next convene at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, July 19, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Yours very truly, Subject: Mice and men Fellow creatures, Renew thy courage at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, July 12, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Cheers, Subject: So much wine Drink to passing, pass the drink, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, July 5, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. L.J. Subject: Warning Dear perceivers, Drink at your own risk, 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, June 28, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. L.J. Subject: God's Love Make like the founding fathers and join us for drinks this Wednesday at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom, 10ish, you know the drill. H. PS: Greg & Michelle have returned and will be there to share the
wisdom they have accrued gallivanting about Europe. Subject: We shall drink on the beaches We have not been meeting for Drinks every Wednesday at Dylan's because we are made of sugar candy. Dylan's H. Subject: Gallant Adventures Objects of mystery and wonder will gather to strike blows and shed
blood this Wednesday at Dylan's Saloon, 19th & Folsom, some time
between 9:30 and 10. H.
Subject: Um . . . so anyway . . . Um, Hi. ... I was sorta wondering if, well, like, um... See, we have this thing,
where we meet every Wednesday, and we like, drink and stuff. And I
was thinking maybe you might, I don't know, sort of join us or
something. If you feel like it. ... No pressure. We just thought, maybe, I don't know, you might want a beer? ... Wednesday the 31st and final day of May H. Subject: Dear countrymen, Which is not to say every so-called country has a real beer. Fortunately, they have the beers that made great countries at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom, and you should come and have some at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 24, before yours truly goes off to some great beer countries themselves. Cheers, Subject: WARNING Dear citizens, Here are some proposals to the FDA for alcohol warning labels: Now that you have been warned, come drink at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 17, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Paternalistically, Subject: Inspirational Dear flock, Services at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 10, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Yours indulgent, Subject: Denial temptation Dear non-non-drinkers, Yield not to temptation at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 3, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Yours in spirits, P.S. Thanks, Hugh. Subject: Great drinkers My fellow drinkers, The next summit meeting shall be held at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, April 26, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Very truly yours, P.S. For those of you who don't like the smoking at the drinking group, Dylan's is now prohibiting smoking due to more run-ins with our good friends in law enforcement, as it is now politically expedient to be against Big Tobacco, even though it's still not to be against Big Auto. Subject: Unintended spiel Dear readers, Be ambivalent at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, April 19, at Dylan's, 19th and Folsom.
Here, here, Subject: Dear Dylaners, Here's words from the man, himself. Come scorn your fellow drinkers at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, April 12, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Up yours, Subject: Company Dear congregation, Be that at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, April 5, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. L.J. Subject: Proverb Dear sinners, Drink not, lest you be drunk. Explore the meaning, at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 29, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Profusely, Subject: Two Yiddish proverbs Liebe Freunde,
Meet at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 22, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. A Glezele lekhayim, Subject: Riddle, toast Dear fighting Irish pacifists, A riddle: Q.: What is the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?
A.: At an Irish wake there is one less drunk. A toast: 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 15, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Sláinte, Subject: More Moderation Dear sinners, Drink, friends, the parting hour draws nigh, Spare not, there's plenty, take your fill, Our flowing bowl is large, you see, Our father Sun, the example give, Pledge, friends, pledge deep before we part, Amen. Now pass the booze. 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 8, at Dylan's, 19th & Folsom. Cheers, Subject: Temperance and temperament Dear FPs,
The church is near but the road is all ice; the tavern is far but I'll walk very carefully. -- Russian proverb Take caution and bring yourself able and ready at 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 1, 2000, to Dylan's, 19th & Folsom.
December 27, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Linda J., Tod B., Matt H., Hugh D., Lisa T., L.J.
Notes: Oh, brother, where art thou?; you can count on me; SF native visits from LA.
And here is to Fill-pail and to her left ear,
Pray God send our mas-ter a hap--py - New Year,
And a hap--py - New - Year as - e're he did see;
With our was-sail-ing bowl, we'll drink - to thee.
-- from the Gloucester Wassail
L.J.
December 20, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Patty S., L.J.
Notes: Allergic to Christmas.
Wassail!
(Traditional English )
A wassail, a wassail all over the town
Our cup is white and our ale is brown
Our cup is made of the white maple tree
With a wassailing bowl we'll drink to thee.
Drink to thee, drink to thee,
With a wassailing bowl we'll drink to thee.O master and mistress, oh are you within?
Pray open the door-knob and let us come in.
O master and mistress sitting down by the fire,
O won't you see us wassailers a-travelling in the mire.
Travelling in the mire, travelling in the mire,
O won't you see us wassailers a-travelling in the mire.There was an old man and he had an old cow,
And how for to keep her he didn't know how,
He built up a barn for to keep his cow warm,
And a drop of strong beer will do us no harm.
Do us no harm, do us no harm,
And a drop of strong beer will do us no harm.So here's to the maid in the lily white smock,
Who tripped to the door and pulled back the lock.
Who tripped to the door and pulled back on the pin,
For to let these jolly wassailers in.
Wassailers in, wassailers in,
For to let these jolly wassailers in.A wassail, a wassail ...
L.J.
December 13, 2000
Attendance: Michelle B., John L., Dagny, Pepe, Anna, Hugh D. Robert A., L.J.
Notes: The ins and outs of gin; Ms. Daggers' election etiquette; electile dysfunction; Bush bashing heals and unites; John's pistachio shell art, Robert's pistachio shell game.
L.J.
December 6, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Kim A., Matt H., John L., Adrienne P., Dean, Linda J., Tod B., Hugh D., Steven B., L.J.
Notes: Erika's custom drink specialties; free drinks for John L. because of some superstition about birth; tamale lady, taco truck and pumpkin bread a la fruitcake ("diamonds can be sold, but a fruitcake lasts forever"); sure to strike spasms of laughter: "I'm on a drinking team with a bowling problem," looks like a tuxedo, but it's really a t-shirt, "If you think I'm a bitch, wait till you meet my mother," "I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings," "missing" milk carton hat, potty putter, toxic fumes underwear, bogus buns boxers, fanny floss, rat hats and more! [Do all your Christmas shopping here.]; a bunch of pictures of Australia with, like, kangaroos, and the same girl in them; Adrienne P.'s coming trip to St. Petersburg, Russia, occasions revelation of John L.'s masterwork on the Hermitage roof. How cool is that?
When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
-- Mae West
L.J.
November 29, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Matt H., Kim A., Tom E., Pepe, Sharon, John L., Steven B., L.J.
Notes: Some people require special invitation to the drinking group; but are nonetheless fortuitous in their knowledge of Italian, such as it is; just think of the fun we'll have with Bush; the shark eyes of Jim Lehrer; useful English for foreigners: whatever.
keri'te'sszaggato'
¤ strong booze ¤ Noun (rarely adj.). Refers to strong alcohoholic drink. Literally translated: fence ripper/breaker...
Baszom a sza'd sze'le't, Sanyika'm!
¤ Cheers! ¤ A friendly expression when drinking together. Literally: "I fuck the corner of your mouth, my dear Alexander!"
L.J.
November 22, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Elizabeth B., Elizabeth C., Michelle B., Ricky A., Patty S., L.J.
Notes: For Thanksgiving, nothing beats a nice cozy Welsh pub with whiskey, wine, beer or a bloody Mary by the fire; by all means, do continue to talk about hanging your curtains, or other miscellaneous household tasks.
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
-- Oscar Wilde
L.J.
November 15, 2000
Attendance: Monica P., Linda J., John L., Scout, Adrienne P., Dean, Michelle B., Dagny, Zoe, Tom E., Pepe, L.J.
Notes: The Fighting Pacifists do their best imitation of drunken rhetoric, demonstrating that you don't have to drink a lot to make passionate leaps of assertion, or that we can be just as hoity toity as teenagers in a parking lot, on the theme: capitalism is man's exploitation of man and communism is vice versa; cf. "bonk" and the notes of July 7, 1999, in these pages for Stray in honor of Hugh's trip to Australia; piove.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
-- Henny Youngman
L.J.
November 8, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Patty S., Nigel, F., John L., Mimi H., Stephen B., Beth G., Adrienne P., Dean, L.J.
Notes: IN HISTORIC POST-ELECTION DEBACLE, FIGHTING PACIFISTS DECLARE THEMSELVES DECIDEDLY IN FAVOR OF INDECISION -- (San Francisco, CA, or somewhere in Canada) In an election result that only this organization calling itself the Fighting Pacifists could have dreamed of -- nobody won! Of course, as most Fighting Pacifists were quick to point out, once the electoral result hinging upon the recount in the state of Florida is determined, nobody will win, either. While Al Gore has most likely won the popular vote, an electoral college tally in favor of George Bush Jr. could ensure that the United States will be officially a tyranny of the minority. Meanwhile, the political fate of the country in a rare and delectable state of suspension, the difference between society and the state proceeded, government rendered less pertinent by such other topics as fisting and John Woo movies. Acephalus as part of the system! Vive personne!
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
L.J.
November 1, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Patty S., Sharon, Nigel F., Hugh D.
Notes: It gets even Gorier after Halloween, especially as all the scare tactics come out, Brer Rabbit saying, "Whatever you do, don't throw it all to that Bush."
Once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
-- Thomas De Quincey
L.J.
October 25, 2000
Attendance: Linda J., Dagny, Stephen B., Tom E., Pepe, John L., Steve, Hugh D., L.J.
Notes: Medea Benjamin, Green Party candidate for California U.S. Senate seat, tries to pick up votes in contentious Fighting Pacifist territory with two zealous supporters, one who seeks contributions of drinks of beer (though her coffers were obviously full), and another who, prompted by Hugh's gossip-mongering about Medea's actions in Seattle during the WTO protests, tries to tear him a new earhole; Sardinian visitor makes valiant attempt to communicate with FPs having little experience in English, and when we try to tell him about Dylan's being Welsh, Titch provides us with the Italian words, "Galles" and "Gallese" (where are the Italian-speaking FPs when you need them).
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
-- Mark Twain
L.J.
October 18, 2000
Attendance: John L., Hugh D., L.J.
Notes: There weren't many of us, but just think of how many we got to talk about.
Drink moderately, for drunkeness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
L.J.
October 11, 2000
Attendance: Damien, John L., Linda J., Tim F., Rio, Adrienne P., Dean, Hugh D., John, Matt, L.J.
Notes: Huzza buzz, or words to that effect; defenestration 2000 (version 5.50.3105.0010IC), or more Microsoft Windows bashing; metaballistics, apperception, or why you can't detect mines effectively for more than about 20 minutes, let alone concentrate at a dumb job or have sex for eight hours; Hugh shows off again.
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
-- W.C. Fields
L.J.
October 4, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Andrea R., Stephen B., Sharon, Mimi H., John L., Chris R., David R., L.J.
Notes: Broadside on the evils of "rings" of power in San Francisco; panoramic Paris; on earthquakes from the perspective of the tornado-oriented; biker conventions in India; on being mugged, or the victim of an armed robbery; the relative value of the NRA, the relative lunacy of same.
Drinking is either an alternative to dating, or the cause of it.
-- Unknown
L.J.
September 27, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Monica P., Dean, Adrienne P., John L., L.J.
Notes: They're some kind of soccer team and it's the end of their season bad movies except for some, bad movie about Mercury Theater Tim Robbins bad movie about Orson Welles Alameda California how can presidential candidates get any stupider but they do Ronald Reagan history of governors of California Edmund G. Brown snow in 1975 snow in New Hampshire speaking of feces anthropology Avon in the Amazon Stratego board games on computers Emeryville and the old people there.
Materials used at breweries (pounds):
Malt and malt products: 3,276,331,045
Corn and corn products: 456,659,719
Rice and rice products: 743,589,380
Barley and barley products: 10,175,804
Wheat and wheat products: 4,438,783
Sorgum grain and sorgum products: 303
Grain products, total: 4,491,195,034
Sugar and sirups: 330,852,474
Hops (dry): 17,533,843
Hops (used as extracts): 4,480,521
Other: 229,962,407
Bottles and cans: 1,765,681
Barrels and kegs: 172,275
Total: 1,937,956
Special Agent Lee Jerome Life
September 20, 2000
Attendance: Tim F., Linda J., Dagny, Sarah R., Adrienne P., Stephen B., Dean, Hugh D., L.J.
Notes: The next Peel Session: Dick Dale and The Fall; some more stuff about that burning fellow; knattering kababs of kegativity (Linda, inspired by Sarah and Adrienne); depression is no fun; the tamale lady and her business cards; the smarm factor in the history of U.S. presidents.; no one wants one of Hugh's Lays.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman
L.J.
September 13, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Jen A., Adrienne P., Robert A., Stephen B., John L., Linda J., Hugh D., L.J.
Notes: The problem with RATS is they are not always subliminable; a proposition that Burning Man be more instructive, for example, on how to locate your pancreas; the pituitary gland, and other filmstrip favorites; adult education, with and without black strips and circles; an old favorite, "Hugh's Calves"; (in the manner of Bugs Bunny or some Warner Brothers character) "it's not proper"; skeptical inquiry.
If on my theme I rightly think,
There are five reasons why men drink,--
Good wine, a friend, because I 'm dry,
Or lest I should be by and by,
Or any other reason why.-- John Sirmond 1589(?)-1649
L.J.
September 6, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Kristen, Patty S., Tom E., Andrea R., Stephen B., Book Bill, Hugh D., Eliya, Adrienne, Rachel, Gina, Diana, John L., Sharon, Linda J., Matt H., Kim A., Michael, L.J.
Notes: Whoa, doggies, like, was there totally something in the air or what? The meeting was getting so nice and intimate and, then, all the sudden, whoa!, dude. It's, like, the Fighting Pacifists turned into the Beatles, or Burning Man, or something. I mean, like, could everyone, like, gather? What ever.
I drink to make other people interesting.
-- George Jean Nathan
L.J.
August 30, 2000
Attendance: Dagny D., John L., L.J.
Notes:
I don’t drink. I don’t like it. It makes me feel good.
-- Oscar Levant
L.J.
August 23, 2000
Attendance: Patty S., John L., Mike D., Sharon, Tom E., Hugh D., L.J.
Notes:
Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million-dollar aid program for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
-- Stanley Rudin
L.J.
August 16, 2000
Attendance: Steven B., Linda J., Robert A., Hugh D., John L., Mimi H., L.J.
Notes: India reprisal; the Russian submarine incident; "new vision"; Hughlogy on "Apocalypse Now"; Wim Wenders's name gets dragged around some more.
Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer.
-- Clementine Paddleford.
L.J.
August 9, 2000
Attendance: Patty S., Michelle B., Cindy O., Beth O., Mark D., Chris H., Keith, Tom E., John L., L.J.
Notes: Okies invade again; a welcome to Chris on his inaugural Fighting Pacifist meeting; if you've seen Michelle and L.J.'s Europe pictures once, you've seen them a thousand times; roundtable on health care with a health care professional; "Passage to India," starring Sir John Lee and Dilip Anesh "Red Hot" Kumar among a cast of millions, a brick of hash and animated dead legs in stunning special effects (digital morphing, of course).
The Americans are a funny lot; they drink whiskey to keep them warm; then they put some ice in it to make it cool; they put some sugar in it to make it sweet, and then they put a slice of lemon in it to make it sour. Then they say “here’s to you” and drink it themselves.
-- B.N. Chakravarty
L.J.
August 2, 2000
Attendance: Patty S., Dagny, Kristen, Mimi H., John L., Linda J., L.J.
Notes: A Dylan's soccer team member gets territorial about the back room after Erica, the illustrious barkeep, bids the soccer club yield to the FPs, but coach Brian with affable diplomacy shows the hot one is not representative; the perils of the five-day work week; more lowdown on Mayor Brown, more Brown-bagging, Brown-bashing this Brown-noser of the posh and faddish; Linda gives the scoop on district politics, proving she's been down but not out of it; the drinking group will not even mention the matter of a particular party who just needs some space, right now, because the drinking group is above all that and knows where it's at, but if that particular party feels that's how it's got to be, well, fine, the drinking group only hopes that particular party grows and learns from the experience, but the drinking group has got it's own life to lead, so don't expect the drinking group to come begging or crying back to you.
They never taste who always drink;
They always talk who never think.-- Matthew Prior (1664-1721)
L.J.
July 26, 2000
Attendance: Penelope W., Caroline, Hugh D., Paul, Steven B., Michael O., Michelle B., Lisa, John L., Kelsey, L.J.
Notes: X-men, comic art, and something inherently dissatisfying about superheros; rattlesnakes and the paradox of "instinctive" reaction; puns; a disquisition on the "Batman" and "Kung Fu" TV series.
Drink from the joyful glass,
resplendent with beauty,
drink to the spirit of pleasure
which enchants the fleeting moment.
Drink to the thrilling sweetness
brought to us by love,
for these fair eyes, irresistibly,
pierce us to the heart.
Drink -- for wine
will warm the kisses of love.
Drink -- for wine
will warm the kisses of love.
-- from La Traviata, by Giuseppe Verdi (translation unknown)
among you all,"
L.J.
July 19, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Michelle B., Eizabeth C., Scott, Steven B., Nigel F., Sally M., John L., Hugh D., Kelsey, Robert A., L.J.
Notes: A bunch of crackers jacking, carmelized nuts; another continental photo op; actresses forgettable and forgotten.
A diplomat’s life is made up of three ingredients: protocol, Geritol and alcohol.
--Adlai E Stevenson
Lee Jerome Life
Secretary General
Fighting Pacifists Alumni Association
July 12, 2000
Attendance: Michelle B., Nigel F., Sally M., Steven B., Dagny D., John L., Sharon T., Robert A., L.J.
Notes: Another round of the pichers; on the bus: learning to barf; shoes that go with blood; Margaret Cho; the finer points of Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois and Chicago accents; Canadian arrogance; the British and American language barrier; computer learning: <click> why doesn't it work? <click>.
Alcohol removes inhibitions—like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!”
-- Eleanor Early
L.J.
July 5, 2000
Attendance: Mimi H., John L., Robert A., L.J.
Notes: A complete run-down on sports from non-sports-fanatics; Michelle and Greg's photo essay of Berlin, Prague and Vienna (those of you who missed out can see the rerun on cable); the irresistible Bass coaster triangle diversion; stray comments from the politically adrift (and tipsy).
Listen to me, Butterfly. There's only so much wine you can drink in one life, and it will never be enough to save you from the bottom of your glass.
-- Rennie Sparks
June 28, 2000
Attendance: Tom E., Dagny D., Steven B., Bruce, Andrea R., Robert A., Petrina, John L., Hugh D., Dave R., Chris R., L.J.
Notes: How to talk sports without having to know anything about it; back on the smoking bus, or quitting quitting smoking; some loud fans demonstrate how to talk about soccer; Mission Impossible: The Planning Commission; more Okies, which is o.k. to say by them; Bartlesvillanalia: Terrence Malick & Phillips 66; the climate of San Francisco: Manhattanization.
After the first glass of absinthe you see things as you wish they were. After the second you see them as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
-- Oscar Wilde
June 21, 2000
Attendance: Mimi H., Sharon T., John L., Hugh D., Rini K., Tom E.; L.J.
Notes: The popularity of the smoking bus even with non-smokers; Munkas, or "worker," Hungarian cigarettes for all; the story of Mr. Hamlec or "super super pep ciao."
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
June 14, 2000
Attendance: Diana N., Steven B., Andrea R., Patty S., John L., Hugh D., Kelsey C., Beth G., Tom E.
Notes: Beth's discovery of a $50 bill on 19th between Mission and
Valencia, and her subsequent decision to buy several beers, the "Ask
Cecil" column in the East Bay Express, the chemical explanation for
the falling bubbles in Guinness, the new Nestor Mahkno poster, Steven
Spielberg, Linda's condition, comic dreams, domes, drug busts, and
the death penalty.
19th & Folsom
Wednesday
9:30-10ishAlways remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-- Winston Churchill
June 7, 2000
Attendance: Hugh D., Steven B., Nigel F., Sally M., Tom E., Monica P., Patty S., Pam, Alicia B., and the men of Diamonds in the Rough: Rusty, Tim and Paul
Notes: The controversy surrounding Hugh's dream about Schuyler, how to spell "Connecticut," how to spell "occasional," the book Quartermass II, the book The Lathe of Heaven, the shitty pew, Croupier, gum surgery, the documentary "American Movie"
In the saloons life was different. Men talked with great voices, laughed great laughs, and there was an atmosphere of greatness. Here was something more than common every-day where nothing happened. Here life was always very live, and sometimes, even lurid, when blows were struck, and blood was shed, and big policemen came shouldering in. Great moments, these, for me, my head filled with all the wild and valiant fighting of the gallant adventures on sea and land. There were no big moments when I trudged along the street throwing my paper in at doors. But in the saloons, even the sots, stupefied, sprawling across the tables or in the sawdust, were objects of mystery and wonder.
--Jack London, John Barleycorn, or Alcoholic Memoirs (1913)
May 31, 2000
Attendance: Hugh D., Steven B., Andrea R., Nigel F., Sally, Patty S., Monica P., Tom E., Elizabeth C., Mimi H., John L., and special guest villains Robert A., Mitch and Claudine
Notes: The majority of participants chose to boycott the back room in favor of THE BUS, except for Steven B. and his cronies, who claimed to be ill. Topics covered included: The paltry salaries of independent publishers, a toast to Nigel's 36 years, the suckiness of the song "Happy Birthday", how Hugh won a t-shirt by goofing around on the web, the eerie familarity of the film "It Happened Here," in which
England under a hypothetical Nazi occupation is shown to be not
unlike the Reagan-era United States, the expected grandness of the
new film Grass, art directed by Mimi's boyfriend Paul, the
impossibility of seeing the Magritte show on the free Tuesday, how
Johnny Cash intends to smuggle Enzo Garcia into Montana.
Dylan's
19th & Folsom
9:30-10 ish.
May 24, 2000
Attendance: Michelle B., Nigel F., Hugh D., Patty S., Robert, John L., L.J.
Notes: John Wayne as Ghengis Khan blues; visions of Holly Golightly; Polanskirama; the tantrums of Klaus Kinski; the scariest movie ("The Vanishing" 2, "The Shining" 2); dude talk; back on the bus; adjunct Cancun meeting.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa
L.J.
May 17, 2000
Attendance: Cindy O., Brett(?), Hugh D., Patty S., Nigel F., Tom E., Rini K., Steven B., L.J.
Notes: I dreamed that I went to the drinking group and there was another group there in the back room at our usual table and Erika, our favorite bartender, told us that she would run off all those people so we could have the room, and this other group turned out to be planning their Burning Man camp and many of them looked eerily familiar, and it was some strange skewed nightmarish view, like that Edgar Allan Poe story where the guy meets his double, and on Titch's bus outside, but only inside the bus, the ten commandments were posted, and then everyone started talking about dreams and it got really confusing whether someone was talking about a dream or something that really happened, like whether or not someone really liked cake or wore a ruffled shirt or made a sling shot out of cat litter or was in "Murder on the Orient Express" or murdered someone on the Orient Express or just saw "Murder on the Orient Express," or whether someone had been playing dead or playing dead in a dream, or was dead, and if they were dead, was it only in this dream I was having? Man, it was the weirdest dream. You should have been there.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named BRUNO.
-- Submitted by Peggy Lair to the web site, Crapco: http://crapco.com/
L.J.
May 10, 2000
Attendance: Steven B., John L., Hugh D., Patty S., Nigel F., Monica P., Pam, Alesha, Tom E., Lyn G., L.J.
Notes: Cronyism, the past and future of the United States -- is Canada looking good to you?; get on the smoking bus!; that New York thing, or the Lackeytown blues.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven.
-- Brian O'Rourke
L.J.
May 3, 2000
Attendance: Patty S., Nigel F., Norman F., John L., Steven B., Astrid R., Tom E., Monica P.
Notes: They are still Wire and they are still great.
Non-Drinker: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
-- Ambrose Bierce
L.J.
April 26, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Michelle B., Elizabeth C., Joe, Andrea R., Steven B., Patty S., Nigel F., Hugh D., Tim F., Tom E., John L., L.J.
Notes: Fridge etiquette; Moloch, Eva Braun's ethnicity; Marx on suicide; The Who?; Marlo Thomas's proto-multiculturalism with Diana Ross and Michael Jackson; Smart & Final is not to be confused with Bi-Rite under any circumstances; Thurlonious; Wire; death sentences; the work of mourning.
Ask not what your country can drink for you, but what you can drink for your country.
-- John F. Kidneys
The only thing we have to drink is drink itself.
-- Franklin D. Rosiecheeks
We shall drink on the beaches.
-- Winston Chugswill
Fourscore and seven drinks ago . . .
-- Abraham Drinkin
L.J.
April 19, 2000
Attendance: Hugh D., Steven B., Andrea R., Nigel F., Roland B., Patty S., Astrid R., John L., Cyndy D., Eric K., Mark L., Joe V.
Notes: Slide shows, 5HTP, football hooligans, prosthetic devices, Global Warming vs Mission Warming, Analog Tom's conversational skills,
dwindling domain names, Derrida, pixel vision, Flash 4.0, statistical
evidence for Canadian superiority. (L.J. in L.A., thanks to Hugh for notes.)
I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I wanted you to know that I do not shun a controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it may be. You have asked me how I feel about whiskey. Here is how I stand on the question:
If, when you say whiskey you mean the Devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty ... takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacles of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation and despair, shame and helplessness and hopelessness, then certainly I am against it with all of my power.
But, if, when you say whiskey, you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman's step on a frosty morning; if you mean the drink that enables a man to magnify his joy and happiness and to forget, if only for a little while, life's great tragedies, and the heartbreaks and sorrows; if you mean that drink, the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged and infirm, to build highways, hospitals, and schools, then certainly I am in favor of it.
-- Tennessee Williams
L.J
April 12, 2000
Attendance: Dagny, Patty S., Phil, Sarah R., Tim F., Sally, John L., Blair, Beth G., Mike, Caroline, Steven B., Beto, Nigel F., Hugh D., Carolyn, L.J.
Notes: Welcome back, Erica, our bar tenderest; the etymology of Dylan's; the latest English invasion.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
-- Dylan Thomas
L.J.
April 5, 2000
Attendance: Cindy O., Hugh D., Patty S., Andrea R., Steven B., Tom E., Monica P., Nigel F., [woman?,] John L., Dagny D., Michael O., Rini K., Alexis, L.J.
Notes: Bienvenue à Rini and Parisian friend; it's amazing how conversations can be made more lively by poop, for example, the guy who was monitoring his production for all the letters of the alphabet.
The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated and a little drunk.
-- Adlai Stevenson
March 29, 2000
Attendance: Steven B., Andrea R., Tom E., [Tom's friend,] Patty S., Linda J., Astrid R., Nigel F., John L., Hugh D., L.J.
Notes: The drinking group's fame spreads at least as far as Canberra; smokers of the world, ignite; to our proprietor, who is hospitable, generous, and, not least, a Mekons fan; Oscar who?
L.J.
March 22, 2000
Attendance: Margaret S., Phil, Sarah R., Dagny, Tim F., John L., Nigel F., Patty S., Linda J., Scout, Hugh D., L.J.
Notes: Something needs to be done about the disturbing lack of forks at Dylan's; non-smokers want to be annoying, too; PS: saw that long-name Welsh place.
Over the bottle many a friend is found.
***
Saloons can't corrupt good men, and synagogues can't reform bad ones.
L.J.
March 15, 2000
Attendance: Nigel F., Margaret S., Steven B., Paul, [?,] Beth O., Dagny, Bruce T., Hugh D., John L., Sacha, Penelope W., Andrea R., Linda J., Caroline, L.J.
Notes: Nigel F. is now Mr. Nigel F.; blood-clot icycles; things start out nice and surreal, but then they get more . . . real.
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
L.J.
March 8, 2000
Attendance: Linda J., Dagny D., Kristin, Steven B., Andrea R., Tom E., John L., Michelle B., Hugh D., Beth G., L.J.
Notes: Cold weather and a short gush of rain; Dagny's hairy purse, aka muffet; post-voting stupor (increased punishment for graffiti so that every inch of public space can be covered with ads); airport waiting rooms of the gods, i.e. ETs.
Drink, and forget your care;
The sultry summer noon is high,
Drink, and your strength repair.
We have a vineyard proud,--
A reservoir on vale and hill,
A fountain in the cloud.
Lift high the song of cheer;
Our hearts are warm, our hands are free,
Drink deep, and never fear.
Our mother Earth, also,--
He drinketh sly, above the sky,
She jocund drinks below.
To absent wife, or daughter,
Or bright-eyed maid, who rules your heart,--
Drink deep, but only water.
L.J.
March 2, 2000
Attendance: Andrea R., Steven B., Tom E., Astrid R., Birgit A., Linda J., Tim F., Sarah R., Patty S., Dagny D., Margaret S., (her roommate,) John L., Scout, Nigel F., Hugh D., L.J.
Notes: St. David's Day, the premises well peopled with Welsh and admirers, some even sporting daffodil (but no leek sighted); Tim gives expository on aforementioned; autoerotic asphyxiation (which sometimes means "automobile"); anyone who likes "Forrest Gump" can't be an FP's friend.
L.J.
