In 2019 there was a poll taken to rank the championship games alone. The results of that are presented here, but with the accounts of the games in the yearly log below (the games in the poll list are also links to those accounts).

Greatest Championship Games

1. 1986 Whooperville A&M 22, Northwestsoutheastern 21
2. 1999 Puke 35, Our Lady 30
3. 1993 HPEMC 30, Our Lady 24
4. 1997 State Pen 24, Lady Warship 22
5. 2003 DeSade S&M 26, State Pen 21
6. 1983 Northwestsoutheastern 33, Bunyan 31
7. 2013 Northwestsoutheastern 24, Kootsville Tech 18
8. 2011 Holy Grail 23, Northwestsoutheastern 17
9. 2007 UPRNY 17, Kootsville Tech 16
10. 1984 South Paw 27, Kootsville Tech 21

Honorable Mention:

1989 Mountain Valley 31, Bleeding Heart 27
1982 Kootsville Tech 27, Northwestsoutheastern 21
2015 Kootsville Tech 24, Porkbelly 21
2009 Cretin 35, Brimstone 23
2010 Kootsville Tech 28, Cretin 24
1990 Porkbelly 34, Bleeding Heart 24
1995 Our Lady 23, Kootsville Tech 21

Special Mention:

2017 Kootsville Tech 66, Brimstone 7

Old Diehard 26, State Pen 23

September 12
Old Diehard was #5 and State Pen #6 when they met the 2nd week of the season. State Pen still had the more illustrious tradition, having won their 5th championship just two years before, so the Codgers were still seen as the upstart, here. The game had 5 scores in the first 3 quarters, then 4 in the 4th. The Convicts had opened a 16-7 lead on Jesse Lakshmi's 3rd FG in the 3rd. Old Diehard started a drive on the first play of the 4th at their own 42, and finished with a 4-yard TD run by QB Woody Ever to pull within 3. Then they blocked a State Pen punt and scored three plays later on a 9-yard pass from Ever to WR Casey Crokes. They failed on a 2-point try, so led 19-16. The Convicts responded with a 65-yard TD pass from QB Luther Temper to WR Prince Money. Old Diehard RB Hugh Betcha returned the kickoff 56 yards to the State Pen 37. It took them 5 plays to get to a 6-yard TD pass to TE Rusty Manhood. State Pen had three plays after, but couldn't get past their own 18. The Codgers got a significant win for their program. Ever had 228 yards and 2 TDs passing, 29 and a TD rushing; Manhood had 107 yards and 2 TDs receiving. Temper had 242 yards and 2 TDs passing; Money had 114 yards and 2 TDs receiving; State Pen RB Dillon Strait rushed for 81 yards.

HPEMC 27, Little Bighorn 30

October 17
A year later (see 2019), Heroes of Polar Exploration Memorial was ranked #3 and undefeated again, Little Bighorn was ranked #19 and had already lost a Clan game, when they met in the middle of the season. This would prove to be a round 2 of their thriller of the previous season, with nearly the same score, but a reverse result. And it was Little Bighorn's arrival on the scene. The Ambushers upstaged man for man the stars of HPEMC: QB Major Day had 328 yards and 2 TDs passing, and rushed for 34 and a TD; RB Buster Capp, who also broke out against the Sled Dogs in 2019, had 103 yards and a TD rushing, 66 receiving; WR Luke Lively had 14 catches for 160 yards and 2 TDs. For HPEMC, QB Baron Fang had 270 yards and 3 TDs passing; RB Yukon Volkov had 45 yards rushing, 25 receiving; WR Elwood Friezover 112 yards and 2 TDs receiving. The Sled Dogs opened up a 10-point lead when they scored at the beginning of the 4th quarter on a 34-yard pass from Fang to WR Tad Blue. Little Bighorn scored in 5 plays, on a 31-yard run by Capp, then failed on a 2-point play. HPEMC zipped back down the field to the Little Bighorn 17, but turned the ball over on downs. The Ambushers drove the distance in 8 plays, starting with a 28-yard pass to Lively, and finishing with a 1-yard pass to him for the TD, with time left for only one play after kickoff. Little Bighorn would go on to win the conference, thwarting the Sled Dogs' bid to return to the title another year.

Birddrops 21, Moonshine St. 22

October 24
On the downward slope of a regular season in which Moonshine St. would win no other game by less than 19 points, and QB Cody Pendant broke the record for QB composite (passing composite plus rushing), and his passing composite mark was 3 points shy of Harlan Daggers's record, it was Birddrops Aeronautics that nearly derailed them. The #1 Bootleggers did not expect the #15 Ragin' Roosters to hold Pendant under 200 yards passing and burn them with big plays to post a 21-10 lead into the 4th quarter. While Birddrops was playing tougher, the Bootleggers missed one field goal in the first quarter, then drove to another. Pendant was not just dangerous passing. He broke a 49-yard run in the 2nd quarter to the Birddrops 12, then threw to WR Lew Dax for a 6-yard TD two plays later. They still seemed in charge. Things turned very quickly. Three plays later Birddrops QB Baron Brest connected with WR M.T. Nestor on a 66-yard TD pass. Moonshine ran 5 plays, then RB Trey Selament fumbled and the Roosters recovered on the Moonshine 48. Brest threw 18 yards to WR Goose Hyneck, then 34 to him again for the TD. Birddrops forced a turnover on downs at their own 8 to end a 16-play Bootlegger drive to start the 3rd quarter, then used 12 plays to drive the length back to a 1-yard TD pass to Nester. Moonshine had to punt twice after that, then not until the 4th quarter, they blocked a Birddrops punt to set up on the Birddrops 15. Pendant ran in from 4 yards 3 plays later. His pass for a 2-point try was imcomplete. But after forcing Birddrops to punt, Pendant led an 11-play drive, including a 26-yard pass to TE Lewis Leaky Fawcett on a 4th down at their own 45, to 4 yard TD run by Fawcett. Again they failed on a 2-point try. The Roosters would have two plays after kickoff, but Brest was sacked for an 11-yard loss on the first, then threw incomplete. Brest passed for 209 yards and 3 TDs, to 169 and 1 for Pendant. But Pendant rushed for 96 yards and a TD. Nestor had 107 yards and 2 TDs receiving.

Cavalry 18, Mountain Valley 17

October 31
The Cavalry were undefeated in Clan play, another surprise conference leader late in the season (after Granola's title in 2019) and ranked #4 in the league, when #19 Mountain Valley came in and dominated for three quarters. The Choirboys were one of the teams the Galloping Ghosts had stepped over, so they were looking to right things. QB Baron Sole led Mountain Valley to two straight TDs spanning the first and 2nd quarters, the first featuring five completions in a row and 7/8 overall, including the last 2-yard score to WR Major Bedd. Cavalry got a field goal before half, then the Choirboys got that back after a long drive to start the 2nd half. Down 17-3, The Galloping Ghosts would score 4 times in the 4th, 3 times FGs, to get the necessary points. After driving from their own 28 to the Mountain Valley 28 for the 2nd, a 45-yarder by K Ogden Bristly, Cavalry forced a three and out, and after a shanked punt set up on the Choirboy 14. They scored a TD three plays later on a 7-yard pass from QB Jared Luce to star WR Jason Crooks. Cavalry failed on the extra point. They didn't need 2, but messed up on the snap for the extra point, then tried to improvise a play. But they recovered an onsides kick and drove to the 19, where Bristly hit a 36-yarder, his 4th of the day with no misses, and the game winner. Crooks had 99 yards receiving and a TD. Mountain Valley's new blue chipper WR Jason Diemens also had 99 yards receiving.

UPRNY 28, Our Lady 30

November 7
This game figured 9 lead changes, on all but one score, 4 in the 4th quarter. Our Lady had dragged themselves to the top of the Non-Conference and #7 in the league, while #19 U. of Puerto Rico in New York had 2 conference losses and looked to drag the Johns back into the fray. The pace was set right off, as the Sharks fumbled on the 3rd play at their own 15, held the Johns from the end zone but yielded a field goal, then returned the kickoff (RB Perry Fenelia) 90 yards for a TD. The Johns blocked a punt to set up a 4-yard run by RB Dick Liquor before the first quarter ended, but UPRNY responded with a TD drive, where it stood at the half, 14-10. On the opening drive of the 3rd, Our Lady QB Hugh Jan Dougly ran 45 yards to the Shark 3, but then had 3 straight incomplete passes and were held to a 20-yard K Isa Goodwin FG. It was the only score of the game where the lead didn't change. The Johns changed it on their next drive, an 11-yard TD run by Liquor. The Sharks scored on a 1-yard Fenelia run on the 3rd play of the 4th. Our Lady replied with an anquishing 13-play drive to a 4-yard run by RB Isaac Dick. The Sharks zinged right back 80 yards in 8, to a 7-yard pass from QB Sultan Pepper to WR Angel Wichu, for the one-point lead again, 28-27. Still it wasn't over. Our Lady ran 5 plays, then set up for a 51-yard FG try on a first down. Goodwin nailed it. Liquor had 128 yards and 2 TDs, 27 receiving; Dougly had 133 yards and a TD passing, 69 yards rushing. For UPRNY, Pepper had 191 yards and 2 TDs passing; RB Fazir Abbid had 94 yards rushing; WR Felipe Diddleswich had 112 yards receiving.

Dust Bowl: Moonshine St. 21, HPEMC 26

December 5
Because of Moonshine St.'s record-setting offense, this has to go down as one of the biggest upsets in SCAB history, not just in the tournament. One of the most efficient offenses in SCAB history would not belong to the champion team. The Heroes of Polar Exploration Memorial ended Moonshine State's bid for a second consecutive championship with a stunning upset. Despite the Bootleggers showing their offensive power, scoring on big plays -- 67-yard run by Bennett Theophus, 43-yard pass from QB Cody Pendant to running back Tray Selament, 54-yard pass to WR Lew Dax -- the Sled Dogs' slow and steady won the race. The Selament score was the last play of the first half and put Moonshine St ahead for the first time, 14-13. But HPEMC started the second half with a drive to a field goal, including a 47-yard run by Yukon Volkov, then continued to hold off the Bootleggers. The Sled Dogs used two long drives in the fourth quarter to hoard possession, drain the clock, and add another TD and FG. Then the Bootleggers struck back with the Dax score, to make it 21-26. But HPEMC recovered the onsides kick, and there would be no escape for Moonshine as there was against Birddrops in regular season. Perhaps the layoff was a factor for such a well-oiled machine of an offense. At any rate, the Sled Dogs passed on the curse of the clan -- nobody goes unbeaten -- to Moonshine St, the Little 10 and the league, and they continued their bid for a second straight championshp game.

Punch Bowl: Dunne-Geep 21, Bunyan 23

December 5
The Lumberjacks true to their figure kept knocking down taller opponents: HPEMC, Puke, and now the undefeated and Pack champion Dunne-Geep Beetles. And they spread the curse of the Clan into the eastern half of the tournament and scored a significant victory for their conference as well as their own program, putting two Clan teams in the semis, and making up for some very old history of tournament disappointment for great teams of their own. The game was remarkably similar to the Dust Bowl, with Bunyan churning away, gumming up the Dunne-Geep offense, but then the latter striking back with big plays. RB Bud Howe, perhaps the most unlikely breakway threat, scored on a 67-yard run to put the Beetles ahead 7-6 at half. Then a 50-yard punt return by WR John-Paul George Ringo gave Dunne-Geep a 14-13 lead in the 3rd quarter. But like conference mate HPEMC against Moonshine St, Buyan went on a ten-point swing into the 4th quarter, capped by a 32-yard run by QB Hugh Jacks. Jacks, who played in the shadow of other QBs like Baron Fang, Cody Pendant, and even Dunne-Geep's Tristan Shout, may have been the most significant of those as far as carrying his team. Even though the Beetles struck right back with a TD drive to put themselves within a field goal for the win, Buyan held them to only three-and-out possession after.

Western Semi: HPEMC 10, Holy Grail 11

December 12
Both teams got to this semifinal by winning the possession and position game against more explosive offenses, Heroes of Polar Exploration Memorial beating one of the most efficient offenses ever in Moonshine St. Their meeting here turned into a slugfest of furious defense, rather than an offensive shootout. But it produced one of the most unlikely thrillers in the history of the tournament. The only touchdown would be scored by a defense until the last three minutes of the game.
Despite the tight affair, the position game tilted in HPEMC's favor. The Sled Dogs topped the Swallows in rushing and passing yards. QB Baron Fang completed 17/37 passes for 220 yards and rushed for 27, while HPEMC held Holy Grail QB Isaiah Prayer to 14 of 31 for 136 yards and just three yards rushing. Sled Dogs RB Melton Snow led all rushers with 57 yards, and WR Elwood Friezover led all receivers with 95 yards.
But the advantage was first Holy Grail's and until the 2nd quarter. Sled Dog RB Yukon Volkov fumbled on the second play from scrimmage and set the Swallows up 24 yards from the end zone. HPEMC held, but Holy Grail K Wes Minster made a 32-yard field goal for a 3-0 lead.
After trading punts, the Sled Dogs were set up on their 42 after a 15-yard punt return. Fang fired 13 yards to Friezover, then found him again for 25 to the Holy Gail 20. The Swallows held, then blocked the 34-yard field goal attempt by HPEMC kicker Leery O'Toole. That preserved the Swallows advantage as the two teams continued to exhange punts.
At the start of the second quarter, the Sled Dogs got an 18-yard punt return again by Friezover to start at their 48, then drove to the Holy Grail ten in seven plays. This time they got the 27-yard field goal to erase the Holy Grail lead, but that's all they got for their better movement.
And then came the surprising compensation, and the turnaround. After the kickoff, Holy Grail started at their own 16, but seemed to get the offense going. Prayer connected with WR Oliver Creation for 15 yards, then with Evan Sake for 4. On the next play from the 35, Prayer looked to cut even deeper with a pass, but Friezover read it perfectly and moved over to cut into the route, and intercepted on the Sled Dog 49. He saw the field, and by the time he angled to the opposite side and the Swallows had turned around to see what was happening, he was gone down the sidelines. The cancel-out showdown produced a TD on defense and HPEMC had a 10-3 lead after the extra point.
This would prove to be the difference as the two teams would continue to cut out each other's offense and trade punts for the rest of the half. And on through the 3rd quarter, and deep into the 4th. After their best drive up to that point in the early 3rd quarter, Holy Grail missed a 42-yard field goal attempt. The Swallows sacked Fang for a 10-yard loss to kill a drive to their own 28, and returned the favor of the interception later in the third, picking off Fang deep in their own territory. Volkov had another costly fumble, killing the most productive drive the Sled Dogs had in the 4th, and that might have prevented the fateful result. But for that HPEMC also missed a 51-yard field goal.
And it was from there that the fateful movement began. Starting at the Holy Grail 34-yard line, Prayer ran for six yards. After an incomplete pass, he found Sake for 22 yards to the HPEMC 38. Then he hit Sake again, who weaved for 19 yards to the 19. Then he found Sake again at the nine. After a throwaway into the end zone, RB Claudio Ferome made a rare rushing gain on a draw, seven yards to the two. And then Prayer lobbed to the corner for Sake. TD.
And then came the real stunner. Holy Grail quickly lined up for a two-point conversion. Running almost the same play, Prayer faked the lob to the same corner to Creation, then went the other way to Sake, who was almost alone. Holy Grail had the lead 11-10! The rarity of the score made it all the more dramatic.
There were less than two minutes remaining, and the Sled Dogs chipped their way with small passes. Their last pass was a 32-yarder to TE Lou Siskool to the Holy Grail 33, but time expired and they were too far and too short even for a FG attempt. The Swallows finished the game off in regular time with their cutthroat gamble on the two-point attempt (a tie would've sent the game into overtime, in effect for tournament games).
Holy Grail would go on to win their 2nd championship, repeating their miracle of 2011 in starting as a wildcard and winning all 4 games over opponents either favored or with superior position. Most astonishingly, they allowed only one TD by an offense in the tournament.

Dunne-Geep 23, Oxherd 21

September 7
The meeting between #8 and #13 produced the best thriller of opening day. Dunne-Geep seemed to have things under control in building up a 13-3 halftime lead. But on the 3rd play of the 2nd half, Oxherd scored on a 71-yard pass from QB Barry Griese to WR Dino Studenz. After trading punts, the Beetles stretched the lead again with and 86-yard drive to a 9-yard TD pass frmo QB Tristan Shout to WR John-Paul George Ringo. The Crimson Hide got the next two scores on long drives, first a 28-yard Cornelius Soom FG, then on an 11-yard pass to WR Lambda Slaughter, and went ahead with the 2-point conversion, a 3-yard pass to TE Andy Poots. It would take the Beetles 12 plays to get to the Oxherd 18-yard line, where they were able to get a 35-yard Nick Sabum FG. Oxherd would take another shot at a 67-yarder, but fall well short. Shout had 275 yards and 2 TDs passing, Griese 250 yards and TDs. Ringo had 103 yards and a TD receiving, Studenz 154 yards and a TD.

Cretin 21, Moonshine St. 27

September 21
This was a week 3, non-conference battle of #3 and #4 and two teams vying for league contention. Cretin held eventual Demetrius Award winner, Moonshine St. QB Cody Pendant, to just 150 yards passing, but the Bootleggers still found a way to upend the Asses. After blocking a punt to set up at the Cretin 33-yard line, Moonshine would score on the next play, a 33-yard run on a reverse by WR Justin Other. QB Lee Van Dye led the Asses right down the field to respond, scoring on a 5-yard pass to WR Hans McFeely. The Bootleggers got the next two scores, a FG and a 2-yard run by RB Trey Selament to open a 10-piont lead, and held that till half. But the Asses took over to score the next two in the 3rd, on a pair of runs, 9 yards and one yard, by RB Ed Butt. Again it swung the other way. After a 39-yard Moonshine St. FG from Rad Brew, the Asses drove to the Bootlegger 29. But on 4th down, they botched the snap, and tried to improvise a pass that was incomplete. Moonshine St. took over and drove in 10 plays to a 13-yard TD run by Pendant. The Bootleggers forced another Cretin punt, then ran out the clock. Van Dye passed for 251 yards and a TD, ran for 34 yards; McFeely had 117 yards and a TD receiving. For Moonshine St., Pendant rushed for 49 yards and a TD; WR Lew Dax had 94 yards receiving.

Axlegrease Tech 32, DeSade S&M 31

September 28
DeSade S&M was ranked #9 when they came in here to open conference play. The Tarfaces were not supposed to be a major challenge, but turned this into a scorcher with some big plays. The Leathermen scored on their first two possessions, on a 33-yard pass from QB Sherwood Feelgood to WR Hertz Laika-Dickens and a 9-yard pass to WR Bruce Badley. Near the end of the first quarter, Axlegrease Tech scored on a 77-yard pass play from QB Otto Zone to TE Alec O'Paint. Still, DeSade struck right back with a 7-yard TD run by Feelgood, who was also 4/4 on the lightning drive. The Tarfaces scored again in the middle of the 2nd, WR Popper Wheeley with a 29-yard reception setting up his 17-yard TD catch. On the 2nd play of the 2nd half, the Tarfaces struck big again with Wheeley, a 75-yard TD pass play, to tie it at 21. The teams traded FGs, then the Leathermen took control with a 14-play, 85-yard drive ending the 3rd quarter and taking up about a third of the 4th. Laika-Dickens scored on a 6-yard run. After a couple of punts and even a missed FG try by DeSade, there were only about 4 minutes left, when the Leatherman surprisingly tried to throw from their own 24. Feelgood was picked off, and 5 plays later, Axlegrease scored on 5-yard pass to WR Weldon Sauder. Then came the 2-point try: Zone rolled out to pass, then ran it in. The Tarfaces had an incredible win over DeSade S&M. Feelgood passed for 388 yards and 2 TDs, rushed for 62 and a TD; Laika-Dickens had 106 yards and a TD receiving, and 12 yards and TD rushing; TE Dick Claude-Hoff had 12 catches for 142 yards. For Axlegrease, Zone passed for 255 yards and 4 TDs; Wheeley had 163 yards and 2 TDs receiving on just 6 catches.

Northwestsoutheastern 24, Porkbelly 23

September 28
On the same day, another thriller in the Pack with these two major rivals. The Fighting Pacifists were just in the rankings at #20, looking up at the Swine at #16. Porkbelly's first two plays were a 56-yard pass from QB Bailey Wicke to WR Etienne Dovetoday, then a 31-yarder for a TD. After trading field goals, in the 2nd quarter Nwse QB Jacques Hughes led a drive with 4 straight completions, then when it stalled out at the Porkbelly 12, he threw a TD pass to RB Caesar Christ on 4th down. The Pacifists would get another FG to lead 13-10 at half, but the Swine would score the next 13 points, 2 FGs on either side of another TD pass, 38 yards, to Dovetoday, to lead 23-13. Nwse started a drive at the end of the 3rd quarter that took 12 plays, into the 4th quarter, and finally scored on a 2-yard Hughes run. He then threw to WR Lawton Common for 2 points to make it 21-23. After forcing a Swine punt, Nwse drove to a 26-yard I.M. Knott FG. Porkbelly would miss on a 55-yard FG try in the last seconds. Wicke passed for 286 yards and 2 TDs, and Dovetoday had 213 yards and 2 TDs receiving. Hughes passed for 295 yards and a TD; WR Les Moore had 10 catches for 114 yards.

Little Bighorn 28, HPEMC 30

October 19
#9 Heroes of Polar Exploration Memorial were cruising along undefeated, and hoping to return to the Clan title. #13 Little Bighorn had an even newer bunch of recruits and served warning of the Clan curse, and also of what they would bear out even more the following season. This game was even more remarkable after the 2020 meeting produced almost the same score, but switching sides (see 2020). The two teams scored on three straight long drives from the first into the 2nd quarter, with HPEMC missing an extra point, leading 13-7 at half. On the first play of the 2nd half, Ambusher RB Buster Capp broke an electrifying 80-yard run for a TD. They traded TDs again, the Sled Dogs on a 35-yard pass from QB Baron Fang to RB Melton Snow, Little Bighorn on a 13-yard run by Capp. In the 4th quarter, HPEMC went ahead 23-21 on a FG, forced a punt, the scored again on a 21-yard run by RB Yukon Volkov, to lead 30-21. The Ambushers scored on a 20-yard pass from QB Major Day to TE Tommy Hawk with about half a minute remaining. The Sled Dogs recovered the onsides kick to end it. Capp rushed for 131 yards and 2 TDs; Day threw for only 179 yards, but added 50 rushing. For HPEMC, Fang passed for 287 yards and 2 TDs, rushed for 38 and a TD; Snow had 38 yards rushing, 89 and a TD receiving; WR Tad Blue had 107 yards receiving.

State Pen 30, Moonshine St. 27

November 9
Moonshine St. was undefeated and ranked #1 when it came down to the final three weeks' confrontations in the Little 10. Kootsville Tech was #3, State Pen #4, Brimstone #5. The Convicts were the defending national champions, but Kootsville Tech were defending conference champions. Brimstone had already played all three, and lost to Moonshine St. 52-12. So it came down to these three teams. The Bootleggers would show a surprising defensive weakness, particularly against the run, that would cost them the conference title, and haunt them again in the tournament. The largest lead in this game was when Moonshine St. scored first in the first quarter on a 22-yard pass from QB Cody Pendant to WR Justin Other. They would lead again by 6 for a couple of minutes in the 3rd quarter, but otherwise the lead was never more than 4. State Pen QB Noah Peel threw a 20-yard pass to TE Lars Sunny and ran 26 yards for a TD in the first half. The Bootleggers got two Rad Brew FGs for the rest of the first half. The Convicts got a FG and a TD, on an 11-yard run by RB Oswald Upp, to take the lead 24-20 in the 3rd. Moonshine scored on a 16-yard pass from Pendant to RB Bennett Theophus on a 4th down, to go back up 27-24. But the Convicts drove right back to a 30-yard FG to tie, then halted Moonshine and drove to another 37-yard Jesse Lakshmi FG with less then 2 minutes remaining. The Convicts would go on to win the conference, but of course the Bootleggers would complete the turnabout by winning the league. State Pen RB Dillon Strait rushed for 120 yards, and had 29 yards receiving, a hint of what was to come the following week. Peel passed for 232 yards and a TD, rushed for 34 and a TD. Pendant passed for 279 yards and 3 TDs, rushed for 47 yards.

Kootsville Tech 31, Moonshine St 31

November 16
State Pen moved up to #1, but Moonshine only fell to #2. Then in came #4 Kootsville Tech, with an even more dangerous RB, Justin Krotch. While the Spitters exploited the weakness for the rush even more, their own freshman QB Jerome Damfalt also struck with the pass. The Bootleggers were even surprisingly more effective rushing, but it was still a shootout, much as the State Pen game the previous week. Kootsville began and ended the game with grueling long drives. They held the ball for 13 plays and nearly half the first quarter to take a 7-0 lead, on a 4-yard pass from Damfalt to WR Elias Smith-Jones. Then, after forcing Moonshine to punt, came a big blow by Krotch: a 42-yard TD run. The Bootleggers answered with a 44-yard TD pass from Pendant to WR Lew Dax, but missed the extra point. They scored shortly after when the Spitters messed up the snap on a punt. RB Trey Selament ran 13 yards for a TD. Damfalt hit TE Bruce Dribbs for 47 yards, then finished off the drive with a 7-yard run, to put Kootsville back up in the 2nd, then Pendant threw to WR Justin Other for a 24-yard TD. Spitters led 21-20 at half. Damfalt scored again on a one-yard run in the 3rd. Moonshine didn't score again till the 4th, but got two in a row, a 51-yard Rad Brew FG, then an 8-yard TD pass to RB Trey Selament. Selament then ran in for 2 points to make it 31-28, Moonshine. Then came the other long drive, again 13 plays, the Spitters driving to the Moonshine 3 and strangling the clock. On 2nd down, Leary O'Brien kicked the 20-yard FG to tie the game. On the last play Theophus ran 29 yards to the Spitter 43, but time ran out. Krotch rushed for 152 yards and a TD, a performance that boosted his already incredible season into major Demetrius candidacy. But it would be Pendant who would take that. Damfalt passed for 210 yards and a TD, and rushed for 34 and 2. Smith-Jones had 12 catches for 115 yards and a TD. For Moonshine, Pendant threw for just 192 yards, but 3 TDs, rushed for 30; Dax had 114 yards and a TD receiving, Selament rushed for 85 yards and a TD, with another TD catch.

Western Semi: Moonshine St. 37, Brimstone 31 OT

December 14
It wasn't the lopsided affair of the regular season, won by Moonshine St. 52-12. It was the showdown everyone wanted to see in a Moonshine-State Pen rematch. It was the problem the Bootleggers had all season with defense and allowing opponents to rally. But this time it was Moonshine St that had to rally from behind, to tie the game to prevent the loss, as Kootsville Tech did to them 31-31. And then it was Moonshine St snatching away all the suspense with one drive in overtime, starting and stopping, but Demetrius Award winner QB Cody Pendant dealing the blows, a 17-yard run on third down, an 18-yard run to the Brimstone 17, then RB Bennet Theophus two plays later slashing in from seven yards to end it.
Brimtone had upset State Pen largely because of defensive effort, but here offense was as much defensive as keeping in a shooutout. The first drive of the game set the tone, a long Hellfire drive scratching and clawing to keep possession, which stole time and kept the ball away from Moonshine St. But it ended in a field goal. The Bootleggers responded with a blitzkrieg, five plays to go the distance, including a 31-yard pass from Pendant to WR Lew Dax and a 29-yard run by Pendant. They scored from the Brimstone one-yard line on a pass to WR Justin Other.
The Bootleggers scored on a long drive of their own into the second quarter, opening it with a 30-yard pass to Theophus, and finsihing with another one-yard pass to RB Tray Selament. It looked like they were taking off for another rout of the Hellfires. But Brimstone responded with another grasping, clutching at possession drive to stay in the game, making it 14-10 on a 4-yard pass from QB Justin Kredabul to TE Amir Childe.
The Bootleggers settled for a field goal on the opening drive of the second half. Then Brimstone took over the gunslinging, scoring on three straight possessions, with a 9-yard pass to WR Holden Forth, and a 10-yarder and 2-yarder to Childe. In between, the Bootleggers missed a field goal, then after Brimstone went up 24-17, they scored at the beginning of the fourth quarter with another lightning drive, five plays, but Selament came up short on a rush attempt for a two-point conversion. It was 24-23, Brimstone. And the Hellfires went up 31-23.
Then came the rally to save. It took the Bootleggers 12 plays to get to the Brimstone 26, a tug of war holding Moonshine off but also consuming the rest of the time. Then Pendant hit Other for the 26 yards and the score. And again, the moment of truth: Pendant found Dax in the end zone for the two points: 31-31. On Brimstone's next play from scrimmage, Kredabul was intercepted. Regulation time ended, and then came the Bootleggers' finish in overtime.

Our Lady 36, Dunne-Geep 42

September 1
Tristan Shout in his 2nd season was looking to lead Dunne-Geep into contention and they got a #9 pre-season ranking. They travelled to #11 Our Lady, a traditional Non-Conference power who had slipped a bit, but now had a dangerous backfield with RBs Dick Darown and Bubba Butt. This opening day thriller was a shootout in the first half that turned into an eye-popping rout by the Beetles in the 3rd quarter, and then an equally astonishing and nerve-racking rally in the 4th. The Johns hoarded the ball first with an 11-play drive to a TD. Then Dunne-Geep WR John-Paul George Ringo struck back with a 55-yard punt return for a TD. The Beetles scored on two more drives into the 2nd, but Our Lady got another scoring drive just before half, using mainly the pass. In the 3rd, after trading punts, the Beetles scored on three straight possessions, making quick work of the latter two. QB Shout scored on a 21-yard run to cap a four-play drive, then scrambled for 37 yards to start the third drive and WR Fuller Szit scored two plays later on a 3-yard run. Dunne-Geep led 42-14. But the Johns replied with a 13-yard drive, scoring on a 12-yard pass from QB Hugh Jan Dougly to Butt, then getting 2 points on a Butt run. That went well into the 4th quarter, but the Johns wasted no time on their next possession after forcing the Beetles to punt. After three plays, Dougly covered 40 yards to WR Isa Goodwin for a TD. This time Butt failed on the 2-point try. Our Lady got the ball back on an interception of Shout, and scored again in just four plays, a 10-yard pass to WR Nelson Spa. Dougly threw to TE Siyu Soon for 2, and were within six points. But the Beetles recovered that onsides kick and ran out the clock. Dougly outpassed Shout 287 yards to 185, and 4 TDs to 2. Shout rushed for 97 yards and a TD. Spa had 107 yards receiving, Dunne-Geep TE Bud Suckington 82 and a TD.

Oxherd 23, Old Diehard 24

October 20
Oxherd started the season ranked #3 and blasted #10 Cretin and two unranked foes, but then got smacked by Bleeding Heat to open Non-Conference play. Old Diehard was treading more modestly but had not lost a game, though they tied with Puke the week before, when they came in this 8th week of the season. The Crimson Hide led 2 FGs to one when the Codgers scored on a 66-yard pass play from QB Woody Ever to WR Ben Better near the end of the first quarter. In the 2nd, the teams traded long drives to TDs, then Oxherd got another FG, and it was 17-16 Old Diehard at half. The teams traded long drives again in the 3rd, Oxherd first consuming half the quarter and retaking the lead, but then the Codgers coming right back. There was no scoring in the 4th, but plenty of drama trying. Old Diehard missed a field goal. The Crimson Hide intercepted the Codgers and then drove to their 2, but fumbled the ball back to them. Oxherd still got the ball back for one more chance, but missed on a 57-yard FG attempt. Better finished with 9 catches for 159 yards and the TD. Oxherd would fall to 5-4 in conference play but make the tournament on overall record, while Old Diehard would finish as conference runner-up.

Kootsville Tech 13, State Pen 17

October 27
Kootsville Tech came into the season off three straight league championships. WR D.O. Durant graduated, but the Spitters were still given the #1 preseason ranking and considered the favorites for another championship. RB Justin Krotch moved to WR and became a top 10 receiver, and of course they still had QB Harlan Daggers, who had won the Demetrius Award already. The Spitters were rolling through everyone, their previous 5 Little 10 foes scoring only one TD among them. What's more, the Convicts came in off a 23-8 loss to Moonshine St., so there was no expectation Kootsville Tech would even be troubled. State Pen held off Daggers and company and scored first at the end of the first, on a 1-yard run by WR Odell Paye. Daggers led the expected comeback drive in the 2nd, throwing to brother WR Luke for the 3-yard TD. Again, the Convicts held off the Kootsville offense and scored a FG at the end of the 3rd, then intercepted Daggers and drove to a TD, a 12-yard pass to Paye from QB Noah Peel. They led, incredibly, 17-7. The Spitters would drive right back, 81 yards in 9 plays to a 3-yard TD pass to Krotch, but fail a 2-point try. State Pen recovered an onsides kick, but turned the ball over on the 50-yard line. Kootsvile would gain only 16 yards in 3 plays before time expired. Daggers threw for 233 yards to just 155 for Peel. State Pen RB Dillon Strait rushed for 101 yards, and Paye had 93 yards and a TD receiving, and 2 yards and a TD rushing. The Spitters would win the Little 10 and go to the Dust Bowl, but the Convicts would meet them again in the Western Semi and confirm this result, eliminating Kootsville from their bid for a 4th consecutive title, and going on to win a 5th title of their own.

DeSade S&M 22, Holy Grail 30

November 3
The Leathermen used short field and special teams to build up a 19-10 halftime lead. DeSade WR Hertz Laika-Dickens returned a punt 47 yards to the Holy Grail 16-yard line, and two plays later, the last play of the half, caught the 16-yard TD pass from QB Jack Boot. Another FG drive in the 3rd quarter made it 22-10. Then QB Isaiah Prayer went to work and led the Swallows on a 3-TD rally into the 4th quarter. Prayer completed 28 of 37 passes for 336 yards and 3 TDs, and ran for 32 yards and a TD. Laika-Dickens had 97 yards and a TD receiving, while Holy Grail WR Kareem DeMint had 10 catches for 110 yards and a TD. This would turn out to be the Pack championship game, as Holy Grail would go on to finish first, DeSade 2nd in the conference. The Swallows would roll on to the championship game, where they fell to State Pen.

UFO 44, Bunyan 34

November 10
U. of Foreign Outposts started the season at #2 and was thought to be the best challenger to Kootsville Tech. Once on top in the Clan, though, they had to learn about the curse from that side. Mountain Valley sacked them 38-10 the week before this game. And in comes Bunyan, with QB Hugh Jasso who already had a Demetrius Award. The Aliens would get their offense going in this one, and a big fireworks display was the result. There were 7 lead changes. Bunyan led at half 21-20. After the Lumberjacks went up 28-23 in the 3rd quarter, on a TD pass from Jasso to WR Ben DeBarr, UFO scored the next 3 TDs, to lead 44-28. Jasso would bring Bunyan back, with a 47-yard pass to TE Gigante Infantino leading to Jasso's own 6-yard TD run. They failed on a 2-point try. Jasso threw for 344 yards and 2 TDs, ran for another. Bunyan WR Hugh Jacks had 106 yards receiving, DeBarr had 78 and 2 TDs; RB Brad Werst had 53 yards and a TD rushing, 66 yards receiving. UFO QB Rob Senses passed for 270 yards and 4 TDs; TE Vigo Nau had 101 yards and a TD receiving; RB Ron Screaming rushed for 95 yards and a TD, and had 29 yards receiving.

Footmouth 34, Dunne-Geep 31

November 10
For the 2nd year in a row, Footmouth got into a shootout with Dunne-Geep and upset them, when the Beetles, behind QB Tristan Shout, were trying to move up into contention in the Pack. Dunne-Geep had already lost to three teams who would finish above them, and this game would drop them out of the tournament. And this game produced two 200 yard receiving performances. Shout ran 32 yards for a TD just before half to take a 17-10 lead. After a FG in the 3rd, the Heels got the next score too on a 63-yard pass from QB Dillon Dirt to WR Wei Kewell. From there the lead changed with every score. In the 4th, the Beetles would have a one-play possession: a 78-yard TD pass from Shout to WR John-Paul George Ringo, to go ahead 31-27. But the Heels stepped on the Beetles again, using an 11-play drive to consume the rest of the 4th and get the winning score, a 7-yard pass to Kewell. Shout passed for 369 yards and 2 TDs, Dirt for 367 yards and 4 TDs. Ringo had 11 catches for 200 yards and 2 TDs; Kewell had 10 catches for 243 yards and 2 TDs.

Fish Bowl: Our Lady 28, Moonshine St. 32

December 1
The Fish Bowl produced the thriller of the tournament. A three-TD 2nd quarter, including an interception return, put Our Lady up 21-3 at the half. Then a commanding possession to start the second half, capped by a 16-yard TD pass from QB Hugh Jan Dougly to RB Bubba Butt, appeared to open a Johns blowout. But Moonshine State WR Kareem Dallah Kareem took the ensuing kickoff from his own end zone to the other. It was a series of poor Our Lady special teams plays on 4th down that created the Bootlegger rally. On Our Lady's next possession, a short punt put Moonshine on their own 48. The Bootleggers covered 32 yards on the first play, then scored on a 12-yard pass from QB Cody Pendant to Kareem. In the 4th quarter Our Lady botched the punt snap on their own 17, and Moonshine scored on a two-yard pass to Kareem. Moonshine got a two-point conversion on a run by RB Trey Selament to make it a 3-point game, 28-25 Our Lady. Then again, a shanked punt started the Bootleggers on the Our Lady 39. They scored on a 19-yard pass to RB Chuck Galugg. Pendant passed for 233 yards to 215 for Dougly, but had only two carries for -6 yards.

Marx. Orth. 29, DeSade S&M 35

October 21
Marx came in at #13 but struggling in the Pack, while #8 DeSade was in a tight race chasing conference leader Porkbelly. It looked like a rout, as the Leathermen led 28-0 at half, and then scored again to answer the Big Red's score at the beginning of the 2nd half. DeSade were dominating with their passing game of QB Jack Boot, TE Bud Cheeks and WRs Hertz Laika-Dickens and Molotov Cocteau. But QB Brit Humer and Marx took over in the 4th quarter. With a 19-yard run, Humer set up a 2-yard TD pass to WR Jess Juan Moore, then threw to him again for the 2-point play. Marx allowed one first down, then forced a punt, and went on a 12-play, 70 yard drive, capped by a 3-yard pass to WR Roger Outt. Humer then failed on a run for 2 points. But Marx recovered an onsides kick, Humer passed to Moore for 22, and 4 plays later to TE Stalin Castro for the 5-yard TD, then again to Castro for 2 points. They tried another onsides, but the Leathermen recovered and could finally sigh their relief. Humer passed for only 190 yards, but 4 TDs, and ran for 50 yards; Castro had 72 yards and 2 TDs receiving. Boot had 256 yards and a TD passing; Cheeks 84 and a TD receiving, and 6 yards and a TD rushing; Laika-Dickens 87 receiving; RB Bud Claude-Hoff 2 TDs rushing.

Cretin 27, Slash & Burn A&M 27

October 21
On the same day, higher-ranked Cretin, #7, would have an even bigger challenge from unranked Slash & Burn A&M, who had also not won a conference game. The Asses dominated, as expected, with the passing game of QB Lee Van Dye, TE Lee Nova and WR Phil Lasteen, leading 17-0 at half. The Guerrillas, who had a dangerous QB of their own in Synjyn I. Lashes, showed a flash at the start of the 2nd half, when after recovering a fumble, they scored in three plays, including a 26-yard pass to WR Neil DeGrassi Knoll and the 20-yard TD play to WR Taisan Rong. But the Asses answered with another methodical TD drive to lead 24-7. Slash & Burn A&M followed that with a 6-play drive, including passes of 27 to Knoll and 33 to RB Al Pellet, and the 12-yard TD to TE Tiger Chutzpah. After forcing a punt, they had a 10-play drive into the 4th, capped by Lashes running in from 6, but then getting sacked on a 2-point play. But on a third straight punt between the teams, Rong had a 44-yard return to the Cretin 13, and Lashes threw to Rong 6 yards for the TD two plays later. The Guerrillas had the lead 27-24. Van Dye led the Asses on a drive against the clock as well, which he did with an 11-yard run as well as 4/4 passes, the longest 21 yards to Lasteen to the Guerrilla 15. But when he got another first down on an 11-yard pass to the 4, with 10 seconds left, Cretin chose not to lose rather than risk for the win, and set up for a 21-yard FG. Van Dye passed for 300 yards and 3 TDs and rushed for 48 yards; Nova had 123 yards and a TD receiving; Lasteen 102 and a TD. Lashes passed for 277 and 3 TDs and rushed for 17 and a TD; Chutzpah had 105 yards and a TD receiving; Rong 68 yards and 2 TDs receiving.

Northwestsoutheastern 28, Porkbelly 27

November 4
Porkbelly rose above Northwestsoutheastern after their three-peat, and even went to the championship game in 2016. The Swine came into this game #8, but the Fighting Pacifists, ranked #17, stole another win. Despite Porkbelly being much more potent, Nwse made this a grueling affair, first by keeping it low-scoring and close for nearly three quarters, then after Porkbelly scored 17 unanswered points to take control in the 4th quarter, by gobbling up the last half of the 4th with two long scoring drives for the one-point win. After the first one, they recovered an onsides kick, so the Swine and their faithful had to watch the nightmare of the Pacifists staying on offense. Porkbelly QB Luke Trudy-Kehoe threw for 322 yards, to just 177 for Nwse QB Jacques Hughes. The Swine scored on a 29-yard pass to WR Hugh Briss, a 28-yard run by RB Bill Prince, and a 25-yard run on a reverse by Briss, as well as two Ivan Aidiya FGs. The Fighting Pacifists scored first on a 20-yard run by RB Leveon Rose after blocking a punt, then on the two long drives at the end, on a 4-yard pass to WR Watt Wynn Ware-Howe, and 2-yard pass to WR Hector Ingam.

Dunne-Geep 30, Footmouth 38

November 4
Dunne-Geep had their hot, new QB Tristan Shout and were trying to rise to contention in the Pack. They came into the game ranked #10. Footmouth had not won a conference game for the season so far. The Heels jumped all over the Beetles, and led 38-14 at the end of 3 quarters. This would also be the start of a three-year run that seemed to Dunne-Geep, and particularly Shout and his classmate WR John-Paul George Ringo, like a curse, in which Footmouth would upset them. Even when the Beetles finally won in 2020, it was a nailbiter. Heel QB Dillon Dirt would outpass Shout 310 yards to 268, though the latter threw 3 TDs to Dirt's 2. Dirt opened scoring with a 57-yard TD strike to TE Jaromir Czitzak, who had 119 yards and 2 TDs on the day. Dunne-Geep rallied in the 4th for two TDs and 2-point conversions on both. On the latter, Shout ran for 10 yards and threw to TE Buddy Poots, who had 135 yards and a TD total, for the conversion. But there was only time left for an onsides kick, which Footmouth recovered, and one more play.

Granola 35, Little Bighorn 31

November 18
These two were figthing for a very slim chance at the tournament on the last week of the season, and ranked #17 and #19. They put on a thriller that included six lead changes, two 2-score rallies, and an incredible 5-score 3rd quarter. After a timid first quarter with only a 22-yard Cappy Collarneck FG for Little Bighorn, Granola QB Eton Goode got the fireworks going on the first play of the 2nd with 76-yard TD run, after Collarneck missed a 41-yard FG try. The Ambushers would come back and score twice in the quarter, including a 35-yard pass from QB Dan Smother-Falker to RB Rich Lee Diezerft, for a 17-7 halftime lead. The Nuts scored on their opening drive of the 3rd, then Little Bighorn replied with a 45-yard TD pass, again to Diezerft. But on the following kickoff Granola RB Bud Cheese started in his own end zone and returned all the way for a TD, 100+ yards. The Nuts then forced a punt, and drove to an 8-yard Cheese TD run to take the lead 28-24. The Ambushers fired back, Smother-Falker hitting TE Al Duya for a 51-yard gain, then later for the 4-yard TD. After trading punts, Granola would start a drive in the 4th quarter with a 27-yard run by Cheese, but would take 11 more plays to get to a 2-yard TD run by Cheese. They held on for the win. Good threw for only 154 yards, but rushed for 96 and a TD; Cheese rushed for 108 yards and 2 TDs, caught a 1-yard TD pass, and had the return TD. Smother-Falker passed for 392 yards and 5 TDs; Duya had 13 catches for 199 yards.

Eucalyptus Leaf Bowl: State Pen 31, UFO 43

December 2
No one quite expected these two teams to be here in the post-season, and no one expected they would put on one of the biggest shootouts in tournament history. The University of Foreign Outposts struck first on a 36-yard run by star freshman WR Ezekiel Powers (he started as a WR before switchng to RB), the Convicts struck back with freshman and SCAB reception leader Odell Paye, the Aliens then jumped to a 2-TD lead by the early 2nd quarter, and the Convicts scored two TDs by half to tie it. State Pen continued their rally with 10 points in the 3rd, but then Foreign Outposts put on a 3-TD, 22-point rally in the 4th quarter to turn the tables again and finish it off. Both quarterbacks, who were big parts of resurgent seasons for their schools, had big games rushing and passing -- UFO's Rob Senses passed for 266 yards and 3 TDs and ran for 66 yards and another TD -- and the two star receivers contributed to the fireworks. Powers had 89 yards and a TD receiving to go with his run, and Paye had 113 yards and 2 TDs receiving. Perhaps the significant difference was that State Pen's star recruit RB Dillon Strait was barely a factor, with 26 yards and a TD rushing, while veteran RB Klaus N. Kaunterz, who had been fairly quiet this seaon, was the main weapon for the Aliens.

Dust Bowl: Moonshine St 23, Kootsville Tech 38

December 2.
This was the best showdown of Harlan Daggers and Cody Pendant. Kootsville Tech. QB Daggers broke the QB composite record with 750 yards rushing, after breaking all the passing records the previous year. Moonshine St. brought in the best prospect of this years's recruits in QB Pendant. The Spitters shut him down in their regular season meeting just two weeks earlier. But on Moonshine's second possession here, Pendant had an 86-yard run to the Kootsville 6-yard line, then scored on the next play. Pendant would throw a 43-yard TD pass to WR Kareem Dallah Kareem to pull the Bootleggers within 8 points in the 4th quarter. Daggers let Pendant upstage him in rushing, "quietly" topping 300 yards passing and keeping the Spitter juggernaut rolling, with help from RB Justin Krotch who had 63 yards and a TD rushing and 37 and a TD receiving. The Bootleggers couldn't stop the Spitters, but finally threw some bang back at them.

Galactic Soup Bowl (championship): Brimstone 7, Kootsville Tech 66

December 16
With only a few exceptions, this list of greatest games are close ones. Blowouts aren't usually considered great all-around games, just for one side. But a special mention has to be made for this performance put on by one team. Of course it wasn't a regular season mismatch, and it wasn't just any game. It was a championship game. And it wasn't just about one game, but also about one half. Kootsville Tech was bidding for a 3rd straight championship, 7th overall (to match marks set by Northwestsoutheastern just three seasons earlier), but perhaps more incredibly, a 45th straight victory -- 3 seaons without a loss or tie. Even with all that, nobody expected such a mismatch. The Spitters struggled against both Moonshine St. and UFO, while Brimstone was the big surprise of the tournament, coming from a minor bowl, but even blowing out Mountain Valley in the Eastern Semi. After Brimstone struck the first big blow with a 73-yard pass, the Spitters took over and dominated to a 24-7 halftime lead. But it was that 2nd half that was the most impressive performance, certainly in the championship game and even the tournament, but perhaps in all SCAB history. Kootsville Tech scored on every possession of the 2nd half, 42 points. Granted Brimstone made it easier by giving the Spitters short field several times, but the efficiency with which Harlan Daggers and company converted opportunities was still unrivaled. See the full account here.

DeSade S&M 29, Holy Grail 28

September 24
When these two met for the opening of conference play they were both 3-0 and #10 and #11. When DeSade was forced to punt on their first drive, Swallows WR Kareem DeMint returned it 49 yards to the DeSade 28. Three plays later Holy Grail QB Tory Scum passed 10 yards to WR Brit Kamadi for the TD. The Leathermen got pinned on their own 8 on the following kickoff, but QB Jack Boot and WR Hertz Laika-Dickens covered the distance and evened the score in one play: a 92-yard pass play. The Swallows scored twice on two long drives, the second consuming most of the 2nd quarter, but DeSade scored again before half to pull within a TD. Scum capped the opening drive of the 2nd half with a 14-yard run to take a 2 TD lead again. But the Leathermen would take the 4th quarter. On the 2nd play of that, they finished a drive with a 17-yard pass to WR Molotov Cocteau, then RB Dick Hertz ran it in for 2 points, to make it 22-28. They forced three plays and a punt, got the ball back on their own 32, and drove to the Holy Grail one-yard line in 8 plays. After two incomplete passes, and on 4th down, RB Ty Dupp carried in for the TD. The Swallows would miss on a 66-yard field goal attempt. Boot upstaged Scum with 322 yards and 3 TDs passing, to the latter's 173 and 3 TDs, though Scum also ran for 54 yards and a TD. Laika-Dickens had 9 catches for 148 yards and 2 TDs. Kamadi had 7 catches for 100 yards and 2 TDs.

Holy Grail 22, Cretin 31

October 22
When #7 Holy Grail met Cretin, the latter was not only unranked, they were winless! This may have been the best team ever to go 0-7 or finish 2-10. The Asses took the lead, 17-13 on the first possession of the 3rd quarter, with a 54-yard TD pass from QB Phil Anders to WR Phil Lasteen. They would not relinquish that lead. After a field goal in the 3rd, the Swallows scored on a 7-play drive to start the 4th, QB Tory Scum throwing to TE S.O. Terrick for the 5-yard TD, then RB Oscar Buzz failing to get the 2 points. That left it 22-24. Cretin missed a 57-yard field goal attempt, then killed a Holy Grail score by intercepting Scum in the Ass end zone. Anders then hit Lasteen for 18 yards, and on the next play 50 to the Holy Gail 12. Three plays later he threw 5 yards to TE Lee Nova for the putaway TD. The Swallows had time for the kickoff, which they returned to their 35, then one play, an incomplete pass. Anders passed for 364 yards and 4 TDs, and rushed for 66 yards. Scum passed for 337 yards and a TD, and rushed for 35 and a TD. Cretin's Lasteen set a record for receiving yards in a game with 267, and had 13 catches and 3 TDs. Holy Grail WR Kamadi had 116 yards receiving, and TE Terrick had 127 and a TD.

Holy Grail 33, Porkbelly 42

November 12
For the second year in a row (see 2015 below), these two teams, and the same QBs Tory Scum and Luke Trudy-Kehoe, produced a high-scoring shootout. This time Holy Grail came in at #14, Porkbelly at #9. After the Swallows opened with a long drive to a 27-yard Barry Elder field goal, the Swine struck in two plays: Trudy-Kehoe running 64 yards for the TD. Swallows RB Oscar Buzz would score on a 46-yard run before the quarter ended. Porkbelly then scored twice in the 2nd quarter, the second one a 45-yard pass from Trudy-Kehoe to WR Ivan Aidiya, but Holy Grail answered with another long TD drive before half. The Swine led 21-17 at half. The Swine would outpace the Swallows a TD to a FG in the 3rd. When they scored another TD at the beginning of the 4th, Porkbelly led 35-20, their biggest lead. But then the Swallows heated it up, scoring on a 50-yard pass from Scum to RB Leroy A. Moore, who also had a big TD pass play score the previous year. RB Oscar Buzz failed on a rush for the 2-point try. Holy Grail then forced a punt and started at the Swine 49. Scum ran 21 yards, threw to WR Brit Kamadi for 25, then to Kamadi again to cover the last 3, to make it 33-35. The Swine would get the next score, WR Hugh Briss scoring on a 14-yard pass after Trudy-Kehoe threw to TE Ray Finances for 31. Scum had 248 yards and 3 TDs passing, 50 yards rushing. Trudy-Kehoe had 234 yards and 5 TDs passing, 84 and 1 TD rushing. Buzz rushed for 154 yards and a TD.

Bleeding Heart 28, Our Lady 27

November 12
Bleeding Heart was ranked #6 and chasing Puke for the Non-Conference lead when #17 Our Lady came in and knocked them for a loop. The Johns pulled the Doves down into a rushing battle for three quarters, and used primarily RB Bubba Butt to dominate. When he scored on a 79-yard run in the 2nd quarter, Our Lady had a 17-0 lead. Bleeding Heart rallied for two scores in the 3rd quarter, using mostly the rush themselves, with RB Clyde A. Liver running 46 yards to start one drive, and RB Perry Dime 27 to start another. But the Johns got long drives to a TD and a FG, including a 46-yard run by Butt, to push the lead back out to 27-14 in the 4th. The Doves got back to their air attack just in time. QB Reed Wright completed 5 of 7 passes on a drive, including the 7-yard TD pass to WR Art Werk; the Doves held Our Lady to three and out; then Wright completed 5 of 5 on a drive including the 9-yard TD to WR Lester Moyle, with 16 seconds remaining. Our Lady QB Phil T. Looker had only 68 yards and a TD passing, and 35 yards rushing, but Butt had 170 yards and 2 TDs rushing and RB Dick Darown added 56 rushing. Wright ended with 189 yards, but 4 TDs passing, while Dime rushed for 77 yards and Liver 89.

Mountain Valley 24, Cavalry 23

November 19
Mountain Valley was ranked #4 and chasing Clan leader and arch-rival Bunyan, both of them riding a resurgence to league prominence, when the unranked Cavalry rode in with the specter of the Clan curse (hard to get through the conference without a loss, rankings or records don't seem to matter). The Galloping Ghosts got a 50-yard FG from K Teddy Rosyfelt midway through the first quarter and kept the lead till midway through the 3rd. The Choirboys then picked off Cavalry QB Rich Landoner and scored 5 plays later on a 5-yard pass from QB Hugh Jorgen to WR Micah Boose, to lead for the first time 14-13. But the Ghosts ran away again, promptly scoring a FG, then a TD in the 4th, to lead 23-14. Mountain Valley answered with a drive that included a 43-yard run by RB Peter Jerkin but stalled out for a FG. They allowed one Cavalry first down, got the ball back on a punt, then took 8 plays to drive to the TD, a 14-yard run by Jorgen on the next to the last play of the game. And of course the extra point was the winner. Jorgan was held to 152 yards passing, but rushed for 102 yards and a TD. Jerkin had 94 yards and a TD rushing. The Cavalry got 85 yards receiving from WR Ewen Husarmi, and 3 of 4 FG attempts from Rosyfelt.

Finger Bowl: Bleeding Heart 35, Grandma Jones 33

November 26
Bleeding Heart and Grandma Jones's clash of hopes produced the thriller of the year's tournament and maybe one for all time. After trading the lead in the first quarter, the Doves led the rest of the way, pulling away 35-19 in the fourth quarter. But the Bisquiteaters scored on a long drive, failed on a 2-point play, then recovered an onsides kick and scored on a 37-yard pass from QB Purdee Pleese to WR Ethan Evan. Pleese then ran in on a scramble for two points to put Grandma Jones within two. The Bisquiteaters then tried another onsides kick, but it was recovered by Bleeding Heart. The Doves trying to keep the ball to run out the clock converted a fourth down and two at the Grandma 34. Pleese ended up passing for more yards than Dove QB Reed Wright. The teams were as close in stats: besides Liver who led all rushers, Bleeding Heart's Perry Dime rushed for 41, TE Alec Dick had 50 yards and a TD receiving (relatively quiet for the league-leading TE) and WR Lester Moyle had 116 yards to lead all receivers; Grandma Jones RB Eubie Nice rushed for 63 and had 23 receiving, Pleese carried for 38 and a TD, TE Nick Nack had 8 catches for 73 yards, WR Evan 5 for 114 and the TD, WR Landry Baskett 6 for 96 and a TD.

Porkbelly 55, Holy Grail 32

November 14
This wasn't quite like these other games, wasn't all that close and didn't have a rally from behind or last-minute turn. But it was one of the highest scoring games by both teams and a fireworks display. #10 Porkbelly scored on its first three possessions of the first half, and on every possession in the 2nd half. The Swine kept up that pace, so it was #14 Holy Grail's offense that made it interesting, turning this into a game more like modern major college football. Porkbelly would lead 35-14 in the 3rd quarter, but at the beginning of the 4th, the Swallows would close it to 29-41. Swine RB Hong Idori scored on a 46-yard TD run and a 75-yard TD pass from QB Luke Trudy-Kehoe. Porkbelly's Trudy-Kehoe had 350 yards and 6 TDs passing; Idori had 79 and a TD rushing, 87 and a TD receiving; WR Hugh Briss had 14 catches for 131 yards and 3 TDs; WR Turner Cameron 74 yards and 2 TDs passing, 5 yards and a TD rushing. Holy Grail QB Tory Scum had 307 yards and 2 TDs passing; RB Leroy A. Moore had 69 yards and a TD receiving; RB Oscar Buzz 79 yards and 2 TDs rushing.

Little Bighorn 29, Bunyan 28

November 21
Just like the previous season, Buyan was ranked in the top 10, this time #6, and got taken to task by an unranked team, this time Little Bighorn. This time Bunyan did not escape, and it was the underdog that pulled off the amazing rally. The Lumberjacks were in charge and when they finished a long drive at the end of the 3rd quarter with a 13-yard run by RB Brad Werst were up 28-10. But then came the Ambushers. They took over the 4th quarter and scored on three straight possessions. It started with a 47-yard run by Little Bighorn QB Dan Smother-Falker on the first play of the 4th. Four plays later he threw 10 yards to TE Al Duya. The Ambushers failed on a 2-point try, so rather than a TD and FG, they just got two more TDs. The Lumberjack special teams certainly helped, shanking two punts in a row to give Little Bighorn short field. When they scored on a 28-yard pass to WR Yahoo Cristo, they went ahead 29-28, then tried a 2-pt to be three points ahead, but missed that. Bunyan still had time to drive to a 54-yard field goal try, but missed. Smother-Falker passed for only 118 yards but 3 TDs, and he rushed for 106 yards. Bunyan QB Hugh Jasso passed for 238 yards and 2 TDs, and rushed for 44; Knight had 9 catches for 92 yards and a TD.

Toilet Bowl: Brimstone 22, Puke 27

November 28
The scrappy team that returned five-time champion Puke to the tournament for the first time in ten years also added to the legacy with a classic upset of the team that may be the second best in the league. It was also Ben Jeter, considered the top RB in this year's recruiting class, who sparked Pukes's performance, going head to head with Brimstone RB Orville Kiliu, considered the best talent in the SCAB, in an amazing duel. Puke kept Brimstone at bay in the first half with two interceptions of QB Keith Tudor-Kingdom and a blocked punt to set up a second touchdown, and led 14-0 at halftime. On the second play of the second half, Kiliu broke free on a 58-yard TD run to put the Hellfires right back in it. Then Jeter answered near the end of the third quarter with an 89-yard TD run of his own. Brimstone scored three straight times in the fourth, to take a 22-21 lead and appeared to have squelched the upset bid. But on the next play after kickoff, from their own 20, Puke ran a reverse and WR Mick Muffin went untouched down the sideline for 80 yards and the winning score.

Eastern Semi: Porkbelly 28, Northwestsoutheastern 21

December 12
Northwestsoutheastern was a step away from a record fifth straight championship game appearance and a chance at a fourth straight and eighth total championship. Porkbelly had ended their run of 10 Pack domination in a regular season game that saw both struggle offensively. Here, Porkbelly dominated the game, especially defensively, but still had to overcome big breaks for the Pacifists and rally late for two scores to win. The Swine held the Pacifists to just 96 yards passing and RB Rip Bonaparte to 17 yards rushing. Porkbelly had three long drives in the first half, but had only one field goal to show for it. When a long drive well into the second quarter stalled at the Nwse 43, Porkbelly punted and Pacifist RB LeVeon Rose fielded at the 17, wove his way to open space, and sprinted free for the 83-yard TD return. The Swine had a quick drive after that to reclaim the lead 10-7. In the third quarter, Nwse intercepted Porkbelly QB Luke Trudy-Kehoe at the Swine 45 and returned it to the 31. They scored four plays later, QB Hector Ingam scrambling 18 yards to the end zone. The Swine again responded with a drive, but had to settle for a field goal. The Pacifists continued to fight off the Swine and hang on to their 14-13 lead, then in the 4th quarter, took advantage of a botched punt play from Porbelly's own 28 to score again in four plays, an 8-yard pass from Ingram to WR Les Payne.
At 21-13, Pacifist magic appeared to have sunk the Swine despite the latter's yardage and possession domination. But on the next drive, Porkbelly scored in five plays, the last three Trudy-Kehoe throwing 25 yards to WR Turner Cameron, 28 to WR Hugh Briss, then nine to Cameron for the TD. RB Ewen Bigg ran three yards for a 2-point conversion, and just like that, the Swine wiped out the Pacifist lead, the scored tied at 21. The Swine then forced a punt the Pacifist 10, partially blocked it to set up on the 22, and scored with two 11-yard passes to Cameron. Game and perhaps the greatest campaign of league dominance over. Porkbelly had returned as a rival of the Pacifists, to league contention, and their first championship appearance since winning it in 1990.

Galactic Soup Bowl (championship): Kootsville Tech 24, Porkbelly 21

December 19
After losing in two straight championships to Northwestsoutheastern, Kootsville Tech took the torch as the major power, blazing through the season. Porkbelly knocked off Nwse in the Eastern Semi, preventing a third straight meeting between those two perennials. But for what was supposed to be the coronation of the Spitters, the Swine made this far from certain. The Spitters' first of their own three-peat very nearly didn't happen. It turned out to be the toughest of those three, but also their most exciting triumph. See full account here.

Northwestsoutheastern 29, Kootsville Tech 35

September 20
#1 versus #2. In between two championship games between these teams in which the Fighting Pacifists dominated, the Spitters pulled off a win in a much bigger thriller and one of the greatest games of all. Nwse shut down Kootsville in those finals, but in this one, the Spitters set the tone on the first drive by sacking Fighting Pacifist and Demetrius Award-winning QB Constantine Angst for a 14-yard loss, then blocking a punt and recovering on the Nwse 8. Spitter QB Colt Snap threw to WR Jack Sorbetta for the TD and a 7-0 lead. The Pacifists came back, as expected, capping a drive with a 9-yard run by Angst, but the Spitters would get the lead punches and the Pacifists would have to keep up for most of the game. Snapp scored on a 17-yard run in the 2nd, after a 27-yard run by RB Dub L. Nichols and a 34-yard pass to Sorbetta on the drive, and the Pacifists would have to answer with a blitz drive just before halftime. RB Rip Bonaparte had a 26-yard run and Angst finished again with a 10-yard run. Kootsville then punched it in twice in a row in the 3rd quarter, with Colt getting big passes, including a 50-yarder to WR Joshua Little, and both TDs on passes to Little of 18 and 1. But then Nwse responded with the next two scores, and on the 2nd, in the 4th quarter, they got a 2-point conversion on a pass from Angst to WR Les Payne to take a 29-28 lead. But after trading punts, with less than two minutes remaining, the Spitters had one more big punch: a 48-yard TD run by RB Doug Wells. It appeared to upset the order, after Nwse had won the last two league championships. But the two teams met again in the final, and the Pacifists doused the drama, 24-11. Angst had just 190 yards passing, though 2 TDs and he ran for 2 more. Bonaparte had 93 yards rushing, and 14 yards and a TD receiving. Nwse WR Efren Defoe caught 10 passes for 122 yards and a score. Snapp passed for 276 yards and 3 TDs, and rushed for 32 and a score. Sorbetta had 128 yards and the TD receiving.

State Pen 29 Swampmush St. 28

Octover 4
Swampmush St. was on the rise, at #13, but #20 State Pen wasn't ready to be passed. This provided a stunner and a thriller. The Convicts scored first, their second play from scrimmage after a punt, on a 39-yard pass from QB Landon Jayle to TE Aiden Abett. The Mosquitos got back with a blocked punt returned for a TD, then on their next possession drove to take the lead on a 5-yard run by QB Artie Gotsum. State Pen evened again on 20-yard pass to WR Artie Dunnet, then took the lead again before half on a 3-yard pass to Dunnet. Swampmush St. got the next two-score swing on straight possessions in the 3rd and 4th quarters. Star WR C.C. Fly had a 45-yard reception on one, which was then capped by a 16-yard pass to WR Noah Vent. Then Fly got the second on a 7-yard pass. They were up 28-21. The Convicts got the ball at their own 46 and it took them ten grueling, suspenseful plays to drive to the Mosquito 5. Jayle threw to Abett in the end zone as time expired. Then State Pen set up for the 2-point play. Jayle threw to Dunnet, caught. State Pen wins. While Gotsum passed for 309 yards and 2 TDs, Jayle had 4 TDs with 229 yards. Fly had 10 catches 204 yards, a huge game in the losing effort. State Pen WR Osborn Datway had 7 catches for 97 yards.

Bunyan 39, UFO 38

October 18
The Lumberjacks were ranked #5 though they had already lost a conference game. Foreign Outposts was not even ranked, carrying the curse of the Clan for a huge scare, but this is where they started their run (see below). It was 7-10 at half, there were six straight scores across 3rd quarter into the 4th, and there was a two-TD rally including a 2-pt conversion at the end for Bunyan. When WR Kert Rats caught a 2-yard TD pass beyond the midpoint of the 4th, the Aliens were up 38-24. But the Lumberjacks' next play from scrimmage was a 69-yard catch-and-run from QB Wynn Bigg to RB Clayton Bellel, and then Bigg threw to WR Grover Knight for 2 points. Bunyan recovered the onsides kick and drove to the UFO 7, were Bigg took it in for the win. Bigg had 272 yards and 4 TDs passing; Bellel 106 yards and a TD receiving, with only 15 yards rushing; Knight 101 yards receiving. For UFO, QB Joshua Bitt had 247 yards and 4 TDs passing; RB Hugh Manoyed 129 yards rushing; and Rats 12 catches, 186 yards and 3 TD receiving.

Bleeding Heart 21, Our Lady 25

November 8
Bleeding Heart was ranked #7 and undefeated in the Non-Conference. #14 Our Lady came in and knocked them off and would go on to win the conference. The Doves appeared to have control of the game. They jumped up 14-0 quickly on their first two possessions, scoring on a 51-yard pass from QB Chuck Everything to TE Alec Dick, then another 6-yard pass to Dick after a sack on a botched 4th-down play. After a long drive in the middle of the 3rd quarter, Bleeding Heart took a 21-7 lead, again on 5-yard pass to Dick. But then Our Lady took control with two long scoring drives while shutting down the Doves, and a 2-point conversion on the second to take the lead 22-21. They would score on a third straight possession a 19-yard Edmund Hustler field goal to stretch the lead. Bleeding Heart would then make a long, suspenseful drive of their own for the remainder of the 4th quarter to the Our Lady 10, but fail to score the necessary TD before time ran out. Everything passed for 198 yards and 3 TDs, and TE Alec Dick had 136 of those yards and all those TDs. Our Lady RB Jack Offendai had 106 yards rushing, 26 and a TD receving. QB Phil T. Looker threw for only 148 yards, but 3 TDs, and rushed for 80 yards.

Fish Bowl: Our Lady 18, UFO 20

December 6
The astonishing Aliens turned only their 4th post-season appearance into their first semi-final advance, surviving even longer then Clan champion Little Bighorn. After knocking off the team considered the 2nd best in the eastern half of the tournament, Cretin, the University of Foreign Outposts beat Non Conference champion Our Lady with the same dogged style, even holding off the Johns for the rest of the 4th quarter after a touchdown and 2-point conversion gave them a field goal chance to win. Once again the Aliens proved that while their bread and butter was the rush, with RBs Hugh Manoyed (53 yards) and Klaus N. Kaunterz (21 yards), they had an ace of a wide receiver in their hand, Kert Rats, too. This time they even made Our Lady pay for double-teaming Rats, as Alien WR Al B. Sienia had 106 yards receiving too. UFO held Our Lady QB Phil T. Looker to 133 yards passing. UFO QB Joshua Bitt overcame 3 interceptions, or more precisely, the Alien defense did, as all 3 were in the 4th quarter, each time giving the Johns a chance to take the lead. But UFO didn't even allow a field goal from those.

Moonshine St. 25, Swampmush St. 28

October 12
The second straight year this traditional rival game was a thriller. Unranked Moonshine St. gave #15 Swampmush St. the scare. The first play from scrimmage was an 80-yard TD pass play from Swampush St. QB Artie Gotsum to star WR Jason Skurtz. The Mosquitos moved ahead 28-14 in the 3rd quarter, but then the Bootleggers came back with a two-score swing in the 4th, a field goal, then a TD and 2-point play to pull within 3. Swampmush St. tried to run the clock out or score with a long drive, but turned it over on downs at the Moonshine 33. After a 22-yard pass from QB Adlai Cannuther to TE L.Z. Paupin, the Bootleggers tried a 62-yard field goal, but failed. Both QBs had 310 yards and 3 TDs passing. Skurtz had 10 catches for 164 yards and a TD, 1 rush for 10 yards and a TD. Moonshine WR Titus Canby had 6 catches for 121 yards and a TD.

DeSade S&M 27, Holy Grail 28

October 19
Unranked DeSade S&M took #2 Holy Grail to the wire. The Leathermen jumped out to a 14-0 lead on a 71-yard run by QB Titus Upp. They led 17-0 at half, then 27-7 in the 3rd quarter after a 19-yard TD run by RB Dick Hertz. The Swallows scored three times in the 4th. They recovered an onsides kick after the second, and after two running plays QB Tory Scum completed three straight passes including the 13-yard TD to WR Trevor Trozhe. The extra point was the winner, after the Swallows failed an earlier extra-point attempt, then had to go for 2 on their next TD. Upp threw for 236 yards and a TD, rushed for 82 and one. Holy Grail TE Hans auf der Butt had 100 yards and a TD receiving.

Porkbelly 30, Cretin 28

November 2
#17 upset #5. There were four scores in the first three quarters, then four in the 4th. After the Asses scored at the beginning of the 4th to go up 21-14, the Swine got a big kickoff return and struck in 4 plays, with a 19-yard TD pass from QB Hardleigh Hewman to WR Mark Upp, but then failed on a 2-point attempt. They got the ball right back with short field on a botched punt, and scored in 4 plays, to go up 27-21. Then the Asses drove to a 28-yard TD pass from QB Phil Anders to WR Cameron Mi. The Swine moved right back in 3 plays to the Cretin 37-yard line, then set up for a 54-yard field goal. A penalty on Cretin moved the ball 10 yards closer, and the Swine's Bo Ness hit from 44 yards. Hewman had 300 yards and 3 TDs passing, Porkbelly WR Turner Cameron had 130 yards receiving. Cretin's Anders threw for 280 yards and 2 TDs; RB Fredo Nutten rushed for 110 yards and a TD; Mi had 10 catches for 126 yards and 2 TDs.

Dust Bowl: Kootsville Tech 30, Bleeding Heart 28

December 7
Kootsville Tech. had little trouble with Bleeding Heart in their early regular season meeting, winning 38-13, and Bleeding Heart skidded into a stunning loss of their conference crown. The Doves came into this game seeming winged, despite their tough win over Bigfoot, and with not much of a chance against the Spitters. But Kootsvile quickly spotted Bleeding Heart a 2-TD lead on two bad punts, a short botched one, then a blocked one. Doves RB Mister Period scored first on a 26-yard run. The Spitters roared right back, with 17 unanswered points, RB Doug Wells scoring on runs of 16 and 22 on either side of an astonishing 60-yard field goal by K Donovan Tryett. It looked as if the Spitters had taken charge, but just before half the Doves got another fairly short field after a miss on another long field goal attempt, and Period finished off again with a 25 yard TD run. Bleeding Heart led 21-17 at the half. Kootsville settled for a field goal after a long drive stalled at the Dove 4-yard line, but got an interception two plays later. Though they stalled again, the field goal put them ahead 23-21. In the 4th quarter, another Kootsville pick of Dove QB Chuck Everything began another long, methodical drive capped again by Wells scoring from 8 yards. The Spitters appeared to have control, but the Doves were not through with their nerves. They turned a squib kick to their advantage, and scored in 6 plays, the capper a 22-yard pass from Everything to WR Koo Bries. An onsides kick was recovered by Kootsville to snuff the comeback attempt. By individual stats, the game looked like a defensive struggle, the Spitters again stifling all but Period. Everything had only 129 yards passing. But the Doves also held the Spitters, Colt Snapp with his vaunted receivers Jack Sorbetta and Joshua Little, to only 194 yards passing.

Galactic Soup Bowl (championship): Northwestsoutheastern 24, Kootsville Tech 18

December 21
The Fighting Pacifists and the Spitters, the two most frequent playoff visitors, met for the third time in the championship game, and produced a thriller, despite a lopsided regular season meeting. See the full account here.

Kootsville Tech 39, Porkbelly 36

September 15
#9 versus #10 produced a thriller, with six lead changes, three times a two-score swing, a last minute score by Kootsville Tech to win after Porkbelly had a 2-score swing. When the Swine scored at the beginning of the 4th quarter on a 12-yard pass from QB Hardleigh Hewman to WR Turner Cameron, they got a 2-point conversion on a run by RB Tex Avvy to pull within two points, 29-31, so they could take the lead with a field goal. But on their next drive, they drove in for another TD, a 13-yard pass to Cameron. When the Spitters scored with less than a minute left, on a 12-yard pass from QB Colt Snapp to WR Joshua Little, they also got 2, on a pass to WR Jack Sorbetta to make the lead 3 again, so they couldn't be beat by a field goal. Snapp passed for 267 yards and 4 TDs, Sorbetta had 149 yards receiving. Hewman passed for only 169 yards, but 3 TDs, and he ran for 116 yards and 2 more TDs.

Little Bighorn 22, Intrepid Oak 24

September 22
QB Terry Tupesus already had Little Bighorn ranked #4 when they met QB Hyam Sirius and #10 Intrepid Oak. The young QB would go on to surpass Sirius in many ways, in particular by winning the Demetrius Award in 2014, but the upperclassman took this one from him, and pulled down the upstart Ambushers. Sirius threw an 86-yard TD pass to WR Wayne Wayne Goaway in the 2nd quarter to take a 14-13 lead, then ran 47 yards on the next possession to set up a 23-yard pass to TE Dewey Fields. The Worrywarts scored a field goal in the 3rd, then withstood the Little Bighorn rally in the 4th. The Ambushers failed on a 2-point play, so needed a TD. They drove to the Intrepid Oak one-yard line later in the 4th, but the Worrywarts held them, three straight incomplete passes by Tupesus and company. Little Bighorn decided to get the field goal, to make the lead two, then recoverd an onsides kick. But Intrepid Oak allowed only six yards on two plays, got the punt and nearly ran out the clock. Except for one more punt play. Hearts stopped as Ambusher WR Doug Deep was able to return the punt from his own 28, going 17 yards before he was stopped. Sirius had 260 yards 3 TDs passing, 61 yards rushing; Goaway 111 and 1 receiving. Tupesus had 232 yards and 2 TDs passing, Deep 107 receiving; RB Phelan That 70 yards and a TD rushing.

Moonshine St. 28, Swampmush St. 34

September 22
And on the same day, a WR duel between Titus Canby and #17 Moonshine St. and Jason Skurtz and #13 Swampmush St. Another entry in one of the best Little 10 traditional rival series. This one rivals Birddrops-Grandma Jones. Like those two teams, neither of these have always been up, but they seem to have a knack for playing each other tough, even when one is supposed to be much better. The Bootleggers looked to be making another spoiler, leading 21-10 at the half. The Mosquitos nipped and tucked their way back, field goals on two straight possessions in the 3rd quarter, then a TD, on a one-yard pass from QB Artie Gotsum to Skurtz, but again a tough drive. The Bootleggers got the lead again in the 4th, but Gotsum shot back in 3 plays: passes of 29 and 35 to RB Gene Eel, the TD of 14 to Skurtz. RB Dragon Dragov ran in for 2 points to make the lead 3. Swampmush would stop Moonshine and drive to an another field goal, to insure against a field goal. Skurtz had 9 catches for 117 yards and 3 TDs. Canby had 71 yards receiving, and Moonshine RB Rico Likker rushed for 69 yards and 2 TDs.

Old Diehard 32, Solid St. 34

September 29
Unranked Old Diehard gave #13 Solid St. a big scare when they rallied from a 3-21 deficit at half. The Receivers, who were on their historic rise that had started the previous season, with their famous backfield of Anthony Kistmi and Reynold Carr, appeared to be dominating the still lower-half Codgers. Then in the 3rd quarter, QB George Will Knott, RB Ricky T. Joyntz and WRs Donald DeDedd and Lordei Falafel took over and led Old Diehard to TDs on four straight possessions, without an answer from Solid St. Falafel had TD receptions of 45 and 31 yards. They lead 31-21 at the beginning of the 4th. And yet the Receivers had a 2-score rally of their own, recovering an onsides kick after the first and driving to a TD pass of 7 yards from QB Phelan Gruvi to Carr. Knott had 250 yards and 3 TDs passing, to just 87 yards for Gruvi, though he threw for 2 TDs. But Kistmi rushed for 102 yards and 2 TDs, Carr for 127 yards and a TD, plus the TD catch.

Holy Grail 13, Cretin 14

October 6
#8 Holly Grail scared #3 Cretin. In this hard-fought game, the Swallows shut down the mighty passing attack of QB E.Chitton Dye and the Asses. Holy Grail scored two field goals in the first quarter, then answered Cretin's TD in the 2nd with one of their own, to lead 13-7 at the half. The Asses used an 11-play drive into the 4th quarter to finally score again and take the lead, Dye running it in himself from 8 yards. Holy Grail had two more chances, electing to punt rather than try a 51-yarder, then K Terry Bluh missing a 47-yard field goal attempt. Dye had only 130 yards passing, but RB Rip Yanuwan rushed for 102 yards on 13 carries, and RB Fredo Nutten had 45 yards to lead Cretin receiving. The Swallows got 86 yards and a TD from TE Hans auf der Butt, the star of their championship game the previous year.

UFO 28, Bunyan 29

November 3
This was a show of big plays. UFO wasn't just unranked, but 1-8 when they met #11 Bunyan. The Aliens jumped on the Lumberjacks 14-0 by the 2nd quarter, a 47-yard run by RB Hugh Manoyed set up one, and two catches by WR Tray Bazar was the drive for the second. Bunyan tied the game in the 3rd quarter on a 19-yard pass from QB Wynn Bigg to WR Terry Dupp. On the next play from scrimmage, Bazar scored from 71 yards on a reverse. The Lumberjacks took the lead in the 4th on a 92-yard pass play, Bigg to WR Earl Derrick, then a 2-point play on a pass to Dupp. A botched Bunyan punt gave the Aliens short field, and they went 22 yards in 3 plays to lead again. And then they returned fire: Derrick going 75 yards on a reverse. Bunyan picked off UFO QB Joshua Bit on the next series and ran out the clock. Bigg had 300 yards and 2 TDs passing; Derrick 155 and a TD receiving, 70 (net) and a TD rushing; RB Dick Sanormus 59 yards rushing, 71 receiving. Bitt had 262 yards and 3 TDs passing, though 3 interceptions; Manoyed 64 yards rushing, 25 receiving; Bazar 97 yards and a TD receiving, 71 and a TD rushing.

Salad Bowl: Cretin 42, Little Bighorn 35

November 24
E.Chitton Dye, 2009 and 2011 Demetrius Award winner, versus Terry Tupesus, who would win the award in 2014. Cretin's offense, led by QB Dye, and more so this year by RB Rip Yanuwan, was not to be stopped by Little Bighorn. The surprise, however, was that the Ambushers had offense of their own, to go blow for blow with the Asses and very nearly catch them at the end. While Cretin led by two TDs four times in the game, and by three at the beginning of the 4th quarter, Little Bighorn stormed back, including two straight TDs and a 2-point conversion to pull within 7 in the 4th. There, the Ambushers even recovered an onsides kick, but stalled for a field goal attempt, then missed it. Little Bighorn QB Tupesus, who finished ahead of Dye in the passing composite, upstaged him in this game, too, with 297 yards and 4 TDs passing, to 212 yards and 3 TDs. If it hadn't been for 3 interceptions, Tupesus might have got the better score as well. While Cretin got a big game from freshman WR Cameron Mi, 7 catches for 148 yards and a TD, the Ambushers' wide receiver Doug Deep burned Cretin for 100 yards and 2 TDs, and TE Wayne Payne added 108 yards and a TD. The new-look Asses, relying on Yanuwan's power running as their spearhead, prevailed, but Little Bighorn also got 70 yards rushing from RB Sean Emission, including a stunning 33-yard TD run in the second quarter that put the Ambushers in the game after a 14-0 Cretin first quarter.

Eucalyptus Leaf Bowl: Cavalry 27, Holy Grail 26

December 1
The Cavalry started its upset campaign that propeled it to the championship game. After one of the most remarkable 10 Clan campaigns in a decade, doubts remained because of a 24-3 regular season loss to Holy Grail, and a narrow loss, 20-18 to Intrepid Oak. But the Galloping Ghosts, and especially star RB Jason Tale, used the biggest stage yet to make their arrival on the SCAB scene: their conference host bowl against no less than the defending SCAB champion Swallows, who themselves went this same route to their stunning SCAB rise last year. The Cavalry showed it could play with the Swallows, who came in having blown out Brimstone, and even led in the first quarter. There were five scores in the 4th quarter! TE Hans auf der Butt scored on a 23-yard run the 2nd play of the 4th to give Holy Grail a 19-10 lead. Cavalry used an 11-play drive to answer with a 2-yard pass from QB Artie Time to WR Bill Toupee. RB Wayne King ran 27 yards for the Swallows, then two plays later, QB Christian Eaton-Lyon connected on a 40-yard TD pass with WR Goedel Mighty. Three plays later, Tale scored from 41 yards for the Galloping Ghosts, who then recovered the onsides kick and drove to the Holy Grail 4, where K Burt Call hit a 21-yard field goal that proved the win after Cavalry picked off Holy Grail on the game's last play.

Western Semi: Kootsville Tech 9, Cavalry 10

December 8
Which was greater, the previous game or this one? Two straight stunners by Cavalry. A week after defeating the defending SCAB champions with an electrifying finish, the Cavalry knocked off one of the most illustrious SCAB programs with more last-minute heroics. For the second straight year, Kootsville Tech., one of the most frequent playoff visitors and the team with the most championship appearances, was denied a chance to play for a 5th SCAB title. The Cavalry, whom many still doubted despite an impressive season, this time dragged the Spitters down into a defensive battle. The Spitters were able to gain the edge thanks to All-SCAB K Donavan Tryett, who made three field goals while Cavarly's Burt Call missed as many. With the game winding down to about three minutes, it looked as if Kootsville's 9-0 lead would be enough.
Then the Cavalry struck, much the same way it did the previous week. After Kootsville QB Colt Snapp was sacked for a seven-yard loss to his own 48-yard line on a botched 4th down play, Cavalry RB Colt Front did what no one else could the rest of the game: scored a TD. He covered the 48 yards in one play, stunning the Spitter defense that had shut out the Ghosts till then. The Cavalry then recovered an onsides kick, again like the previous week, and this time RB Jason Tale, their star, broke a 45-yard run. He didn't make the end zone, getting pushed out of bounds on the Kootsville 3, and the Galloping Ghosts didn't even bother to try for the TD. On the next play they set up Call for a much easier 20-yard field goal. He made it when it mattered most, and the Cavalry walked off straight into the SCAB championship, only the fourth Clan team to appear there, after Bunyan, Mountain Valley and the HPEMC.
While All-SCAB freshman WR Jack Sorbetta gave the Spitters the edge in passing, and they held the Cavalry's dynamic duo of receivers Dan Singh and Bill Toupee to just 6 catches for 70 yards, the Cavalry beat the Spitters with the rush, Tale tallying 84 and Front 73, most of that on just those two plays at the end.

Granola 29, Our Lady 28

September 17
RB showdown between unranked Granola's Terrell Mix and #11 Our Lady's Jack Offendai. The Johns jumped out to a 21-7 halftime lead, all three of those TDs on passes from QB Oliver Klozov to TE Lou Briquant. The Nuts didn't score again till the 4th quarter, but after Mix ran 42 yards to set up a 6-yard TD pass, then a 3-yard run by QB Barry Medley for 2 points, Our Lady struck right back with a 56-yard TD run by Offendai. Still, Granola came back, the next play from scrimmage a 64-yard pass from Medley to TE Huey Leboeuf, and three plays later a 6-yard TD run by Mix. The Nuts recovered an onsides kick and scored again in 3 plays, the last two a 22-yard run by Mix and a 21-yard pass to Leboeuf. The Johns would try a 61-yard field goal before time ran out, but failed. Mix rushed for 139 yards and a TD, Offendai 142 yards and a TD.

Intrepid Oak 31, Bigfoot 32

October 15
Intrepid Oak was in the midst of their best season and highest rise ever, ranked #4 and undeated coming into this mid-season conference game. Bigfoot was their principle competitor and ranked #7, a turning of the order in the Clan. But with the success came the big games like this. This was a duel between the Worrywart tandem QB Hyam Sirius and WR Wayne Wayne Goaway, and that of Bigfoot, QB Omar Godd and WR Terry Suppart. Intrepid Oak built up a 24-7 lead in the 2nd quarter, but Bigfoot scored the next three through the 3rd to tie the game at 24. The Worrywarts took the lead with a 10-play drive through the middle of the 4th, but Godd had enough time to engineer an 8-play drive to a 15-yard TD pass to WR Artie Gahn. RB Lorn Klaugth got the winning score, however: the 2-points on a 3-yard run. Goaway had 144 yards and 2 TDs receiving. Godd had 317 yards and 2 TDs passing, and 111 and 2 rushing.

Brimstone 36, Moonshine St. 35

October 15
And on the same day, a parallel contest in the Little 10. # 13 Brimstone, down 7-28, came back and tied the game at 28. Then #9 Moonshine St. scored again, then Brimstone scored again on a 65-yard RB Lyle Little run, and converted the 2-point play. RB Randy Race and Little both had 100+ yards. Race had an 80-yard TD in the first quarter. Bootlegger TE Barry Sprizer had 3 TDs, one rushing. The Hellfires made their move here and would pass Moonshine and Birddrops to finish 2nd in the conference.

Bigfoot 35, UFO 38

October 22
A week later, Bigfoot, now ranked #6, had the tables turned, but by an unranked U. of Foreign Outposts team. This game had seven lead changes. To start the 2nd half, Tracker QB Omar Godd hooked up with TE Harry Patch for a 52-yard TD. On the next play from scrimmage, Alien QB Joshua Bitt broke an 80-yard TD run. Bigfoot scored on the next drive to take a 28-17 lead, then UFO scored two TDs, with the help of a Tracker fumble, to take the lead. They traded scores again, with the Aliens getting the last. Godd threw for 315 yards and 4 TDs, Patch getting 10 catches for 129 yards and a TD, and RB Harry Biest rushing for 86 yards and catching 2 TD passes. UFO's Bitt threw for 245 yards and a TD, ended up with 80 yards (net) rushing and 3 TDs. Bigfoot would return to the Clan championsh, but continue the new trend where nobody would sweep the conference.

Fish Bowl: Bleeding Heart 7, Northwestsoutheastern 13 OT

December 3
If you were looking for a shootout, it might have been disappointing, but in a surprising way, the Doves and the Pacifists lived up to expectations for the most suspenseful match of the major bowl round. Two rosters loaded with talent thought of mostly in terms of offense dragged each other into the mud of a defensive wrestling match that ended in a one-score stalemate. Bleeding Heart scored near the end of the first quarter, on a 44-yard bomb from QB Jason Butterfleis to RB Hart Burns. But that didn't open the scoring floodgates. The Pacifists scored near the end of the third quarter, on a six-yard run by RB Elvis Eros, set up by his own 19-yard run and a 25-yarder by running mate Philippe Floppe. From there, it fell right back into canceling each other out, a game that included a blocked punt, three interceptions and a fumble, each team with two of the turnovers. In the sudden death overtime, the Doves got to receive and could only drive from their 20-yard line to their 34. After the punt, the Pacifists started at their own 31 and went the distance in eight plays, the big one a 26-yard pass from QB Constantine Angst to Floppe. On second down and ten from the Bleeding Heart 13, Angst threw to WR Efren Defoe for the game-ending score. It's the Fighting Pacifists who get the rematch with Cretin, whom they lost to three weeks ago.

Western Semi: Kootsville Tech 27, Holy Grail 39

December 11
Holy Grail completed a remarkable sweep through the Western side of the tournament by knocking off defending champion Kootsville Tech., and they did so when the latter's star RB Earl Wells finally broke out in these playoffs. But it was Holy Grail QB Christian Eaton-Lyon who was the big surprise because of rushing. After Kootsville looked to be making their move away, opening up a 10-point lead, Eaton-Lyon turned a scramble into an 88-yard TD run to ignite a 3-TD 4th quarter. The Swallows went for a 2-point conversion after that TD in case they needed a field goal in what had been a tight back-and-forth game. But Eaton-Lyon led another long drive to a TD for the lead, and after the Swallows intercepted Kootsville QB Colt Snapp, they scored another TD. The Spitters' WR Sonny Sydup was even the leading receiver, almost everything spelling a Spitter victory. But they couldn't stop Eaton-Lyon and the Swallows scoring. Holy Grail RB Wayne King had another good playoff performance, with 84 yards and two TDs rushing. WR Trevor Trozhe was Holy Grail's receiving leader with 92 yards. The Swallows finished fourth in the 10 Pack, but would be part of an all-Pack championship game. This was Holy Grail's second tournament appearance, but in their only other, in 1980, they also went to the championship game, where they lost to Kootsville Tech.

Galactic Soup Bowl (championship): Northwestsoutheastern 17, Holy Grail 23 OT

December 17
Holy Grail went from a wildcard position to upset every opponent to meet their conference champions Northwestsoutheastern in the final, and upset them as well. See the full acount here.

DeSade S&M 24, Bleeding Heart 21

September 4
#5 met #6 on opening day. After trading off two-score swings, Bleeding Heart had a 21-17 lead in the middle of the 3rd quarter. The Leathermen scored in the last minute, after an 8-play, 76-yard drive. WR "Dangerous" Lee Azens had a 29-yard reception from QB Harry Chest on the drive, as well as the 11-yarder for the TD. Azens finished with 128 yards receiving, and RB Roy Dreige rushed for 93 yards. Doves QB Jason Butterfleis had just 135 yards passing though 2 TDs, but rushed for 96 and a score.

UFO 25, DeSade S&M 20

September 11
And a week later, #4 DeSade falls to #18 UFO. After the Leathermen went ahead 20-10 in the early 4th quarter, the Aliens went 80 yards in 9 plays, capped by a 35-yard pass from QB Ray Gunn to WR Tray Bazar. RB Elian N. Vasian then carried the 3 yards for the 2 points, to make it 18-20. UFO then forced a three-and-out and Bazar returned the punt 33 yards to the DeSade 15. Two plays later, TE Igor Tumicha ran it in from 8 yards. Bazar had 8 catches for 120 yards and the TD. Leathermen WR "Dangerous" Lee Azens had 8 catches for 135 yards.

Kootsville Tech 20, Northwestsoutheastern 25

September 18
Spitters v. Fighting Pacifists. Earl Wells v. Elvis Eros. This game had a remarkably similar script to the game above, but this was the two most frequent playoff visitors and arguably the two biggest traditions. The Pacifists were up on the Spitters in championships by this time, 4 to 3, but it was always a big deal for them to meet in regular season as much as post. They came into this #13 and #9. The Spitters went up 20-10 at the beginning of the 4th, capping a long drive with a 1-yard pass from QB Zack Lee Wright to RB Wells. Nwse replied with a quick drive of their own, QB Luke Beckenenger showing up the more famous runner Wright with a 27-yard TD run, then taking it in again for the 2 point conversion. Kootsville tried to convert a 4th down at the Nwse 49 but were stopped, and it was Beckenenger again, capping a 4-play drive with a 22-yard TD run. Both QBs had under 200 yards passing. Wright did have more yards rushing, 61 with a TD, to 50 for Beckenenger, but the latter had those winning TDs. Freshman Eros rushed for 97 yards. Wells rushed for 91 yards and had 38 yards and the TD receiving. But the Spitters would get the last laugh, their spread option offense led by Wright blooming later and leading to the upset of Cretin for their 4th championship.

DeSade S&M 42, Grandma Jones 33

September 18
Both meetings in the home-and-away produced shootouts (see 2009). The #11 Leathermen were never behind in this game, though the #19 Bisquiteaters caught up twice in the first half. Still, DeSade broke to a 28-14 lead at halftime. After the Leathermen seemed to put it away in the 4th, at 42-21, Grandma roared back for two more TDs. Both QBs threw 5 TD passes, though Grandma's Graham Udder had just 200 yards and DeSade's Harry Chest 185. DeSade RB Roy Dreige rushed for 100 yards and a TD.

Holy Grail 25, Northwestsoutheastern 31

October 9
Holy Grail was unranked when they met #7 Northwestsoutheastern, but they served notice and this was a preview of the next year's championship game, though of course no one realized it at the time. QB Christian Eaton-Lyon and the Swallows dominated the Fighting Pacifists to a 17-7 halftime lead. Nwse then went on a 24-point run into the 4th quarter, to lead 31-17. With less than 3 minutes to go, Holy Grail got a break when the Pacifists botched a punt snap and tried to improvise a pass play, but it was incomplete. The Swallows took over at the Nwse 33. Eaton-Lyon ran 17 yards and 4 plays later, scored from the one. He then ran the 3 yards for 2 points. Holy Grail recovered an onsides kick but was able to get only a yard on two plays before time ran out. Eaton-Lyon had 220 yards and a TD passing, 66 and 2 rushing. WR Goedel Mighty had 121 yards and a TD receiving. Nwse RB Elvis Eros rushed for 65 yards and a TD, and had an 18-yard TD reception.

Northwestsoutheastern 20, Footmouth 21

October 16
It wasn't the first time Footmouth beat the Fighting Pacifists. It was only the second in 19 meetings. Nwse was ranked #5 when the unranked Heels led by QB Lyle DeTyme pulled this off. DeTyme would go on to be a Hyperbowl QB in the LAF (for Oklahoma in 2016) but had a relatively obscure college career at Footmouth. In this game he threw for 192 yards and 2 TDs and the Heels held Nwse QB Luke Beckenenger to just 157 passing yards. Footmouth RB Donahue Fagettete rushed for 67 yards and a TD, WR Telly Markitur had 8 catches for 106 yards and a TD. The Heels led 14-7 at the half and went ahead again 21-17 at the end of the 3rd quarter with a 10-play 78-yard drive. They stopped the Fighting Pacifists at their own 27 midway through the 4th, and forced the field goal, then held on for the win.

State Pen 16 Kootsville Tech 49

October 30
State Pen was ranked #3, Kootsville Tech #6. Neither team had lost a conference game yet, but the Spitters had lost two non-conference games and had a few close calls. Nothing about them looked particularly special so far. This wasn't a great game in the sense of the others in this list. It wasn't close, didn't have a dramatic finish. But it was an eye-popping upset and performance from QB Zack Lee Wright, RB Lyle Lott, and most of all RB Earl Wells. The Spitters would go on to upset Cretin in the final for the championship, but this was the coming out of the Spitter spread option that so stunned the Asses in the Galactic Soup Bowl. This game showed what they were capable of, if anyone had bothered to look. Wright threw for 192 yards and a TD, ran for 74 and 2; Lott ran for 87 yards and a TD; Wells ran for 164 yards and 3 TDs, and had 34 yards and a TD receiving. State Pen had ruled the end of the last decade/century, and the beginning of this one, and got 4 championships. Kootsville would get their 4th this year, and then take back over the Little 10 in the next decade, when Colt Snap and an even more impressive spread option operator would come along: Harlan Daggers.

Porkbelly 21, Dunne-Geep 31

October 30
And yet there was a far bigger upset that day. Unranked Dunne-Geep beat #2 Porkbelly. The Swine were trying to keep pace with #1 Cretin, the only undefeated team at this point and odds-on favorite to defend their championship. This was a coming-out performance for QB Colin Oskopy, who at Dunne-Geep was playing in the shadows of those higher ranked schools, and of course that of Cretin's E. Chitton Dye, who had already won a championship and Demetrius Award as a freshman. With the Beetles down 14-3 at the half, Oskopy led them on a rally, including a 46-yard TD pass to TE Boling Ba, to take a 17-14 lead. An interception return gave them a 24-17 lead, then Porkbelly came back to score and pull within 3. After trading long drives, Oskopy led a 9-play drive to consume the last half of the 4th quarter and scored the winner himself on a 6-yard run. Oskopy finished with 199 yards and 2 TDs passing, 65 and the TD rushing. Swine QB Hardleigh Hewman threw for 227 yards and 2 TDs.

Birddrops 18, Moonshine St. 17

November 13
Down to the wire on the season and the Little 10 had five teams in the top 10, including #5 Birddrops and #9 Moonshine St. The Bootleggers dominated and led 10-0 at half, then 17-7 deep into the 4th quarter. But QB Bug Zappa led the Ragin' Roosters on two scoring drives in a row to salvage the win. First Birddrops went 65 yards in 7 plays, including a 21-yard pass from Zappa to WR Early Toubedde and the 10-yard TD pass to WR Oliver Head. RB Rod Curtin carried in for a 2-point conversion to make it 15-17. Then the Roosters recovered the onsides kick and drove again. Zappa had a 16-yard run and threw 26 yards to Head to the Moonshine 6. They tried for the TD, but on 4th got the field goal from 21 yards and the one-point win. Zappa had 179 yards and 2 TDs passing, 42 rushing. Bootlegger WR Jason Karz had 13 catches for 153 yards.

Dust Bowl: Birddrops 27, Granola 24

December 4
In the upstart file of the tournament, someone's Cinderella season had to come to an end. #4 Birddrops, the surprise Little 10 co-champs, avoided becoming the latest chapter in the #12 Granola miracle. Deadlocked 14-14 at the half, the Roosters scored 13 unanswered points in the third quarter then held on as Granola scored all the fourth quarter points, but fell short with only 10. It was due in large part to one final controlling, clock-killing possession in which the Roosters ran on all nine plays. Birddrops RB Obiwan Akraka was the surprise weapon, upstaging the Granola rushers who were the bigger threat. But Little 10 MVP QB Bug Zappa and all-conference TE Dean Gullberry helped tip the scales. Zappa ran for a TD and passed for 263 yards and a TD, 118 of those yards to Dingleberry. While Granola RBs Les Tran-Phat and Terrell Mix combined for 146 yards rushing, the Roosters completely squelched the rushing threat of QB Harry Bush, allowing him only two yards. Birddrops would have a semifinal rematch with conference foe Kootsville Tech., who beat them 31-14 in the regular season.

Fish Bowl: Bleeding Heart 25, Porkbelly 28

December 4
The Porkbelly Swine kept it all in the family, another contest with Pack foe Cretin, their second this season just like last. After Bigfoot and Brimstone, who represented marquee match-ups with Cretin for other reasons, were knocked out of the Eastern half of the tournament, the latter by Porkbelly, the Swine spoiled the dramatic rise of Bleeding Heart following in the footsteps of Cretin and hoping to become Cretin's main challenger. WR Koo Brees was the E. Chitton Dye for the Doves, breaking SCAB records for receptions and receiving yards in a season as a freshman, helping already standout QB Jason Butterfleis lead the league in passing. The Swine didn't stop the Dove air attack: Butterflies threw for 260 yards and 3 TDs; Brees had 99 yards and WR Phil Maker benefitted from coverage of Brees. But the Swine introduced the Doves to their running game. RBs Earl Beness and Tex Avvy each had more than 100 yards rushing, Avvy with 104 and a TD catch. Porkbelly freshman QB Hardleigh Hewman passed for only 98 yards, though two TDs, and the Swine relied little on their own star WRs, Andover Fist and Alak Kittiporn, ceding the passing contest to Bleeding Heart to deliver the knockout punch on the ground. It was effective defense, too, limiting possession for the dangerous Butterfleis and Brees, and the game was low scoring, 10-7 at half, until late in the third quarter, when the teams exchanged scores on all but one possession. After a two-point conversion on a pass to Brees, the Doves tried an onsides kick, but the Swine recovered and ran out the clock.

Galactic Soup Bowl: Cretin 24, Kootsville Tech 28

December 18
From the long view, this wasn't an upset: Kootsville Tech with far more tournament and championship appearances, and championships, than Cretin. But coming in, the #1, undefeated and defending champion Asses where a huge favorite over this upstart Spitter team. And the game was somewhat anticlimactic, as Kootsville scored it's 28 points in the first half and there was no scoring in the 4th quarter. But it was still a dramatic upset, with plenty of suspense after Cretin's rally to get in striking distance. See the full account here.

Granda Jones 33, DeSade S&M 34

September 19
#7 DeSade got a big scare from unranked Grandma Jones. Grandma QB Graham Udder rushed for 141 yards. DeSade WR Dangerous Lee Azens had 118 yards and 3 TDs receiving. The Bisqueaters led 24-7 at the half and scored at the beginning of the 4th for a 33-21 lead. Then the Leathermen scored on two straight possessions for the win (they went for 2 points on the last score to try to get a 3-point lead). DeSade QB Dick Slapp had 235 yards and 4 TDs passing, 97 rushing; RB Hugh B. Sick rushed for 107 yards. Grandma WR Jean Tile had 165 yards and a TD on 7 catches.

UFO 30, Little Bighorn 28

October 10
#10 Little Bighorn and #14 UFO went back and forth into the 4th quarter, then a 50-yd field goal by K Norman Norwoman put UFO ahead and the Ambushers' Drew Allein missed a 50-yarder after. Alien WR Tray Bazar had 145 yds receiving. Little Bighorn QB Lou Sphees passed for 320 yards and 3 TDs, rushed for 45 and a score, and both WRs Vitor Izedov and Perry Green Falcon had 100+ yards receiving. Norwoman made all three of his field goal attempts in the game.

Bleeding Heart 27, UPRNY 20

November 7
#8 upsets #4. On the first drive of the 2nd half, U. of Puerto Rico in New York QB Elian Spahn connected with WR Hugo Gurl for 34 yards, then three plays later 49 yards for a TD to tie the game at 17. The teams traded field goals, then in the 4th, Bleeding Heart drove 82 yards in ten plays for the winner. Doves QB Jason Butterfleis had runs of 12 and 25 yards on that drive, and finished with 189 yards passing, 90 rushing. Sharks WR Hugo Gurl had 139 yards and the TD receiving. The Sharks had not lost a conference game, but would lose two more after this to miss the tournament.

Punch Bowl: Porkbelly 31, Bleeding Heart 23

December 5
In a post-season of mismatches, this ended a thriller, after beginning as one, then looking like another mismatch. Bleeding Heart recalled its past, the 1988 semifinal Andy Christ-led upset of Northwestsoutheastern, when they jumped on top 10-0 in the first quarter over the heavily favored Swine, QB Jason Butterfleis doing it more with rushing than Christ-like bombs. The stunned Swine recovered however and score the next 31 points, their output for the game. It began immediately after the last Dove score and at the beginning of the 2nd quarter, with a 77-yard drive in just three plays. This was the Swine of the last half of the season, particularly the last three games since the win over Cretin. But after that, the Doves revived with their own lightning drive, Butterfleis zipping them 64 yards in four passes, the last a 14-yard TD to WR Eubie St. Cyr. RB Spotty Dowel punched the Doves in with a 26-yard run in the 4th quarter, but the Doves failed on a 2-point conversion attempt. They forced another punt and made it to the Porkbelly 25-yard line when the game ended.

Eastern Semi: Porkbelly 22, Cretin 24

December 12
The E.Chitton Dye steal in recruiting by Cretin from Porkbelly paid off in the end. It was chapter 2 after Porkbelly won the regular season game 28-21. The Cretin-Brimstone matchup in the championship became a reality, if somewhat blemished by that previous Cretin loss. The Asses got the last laugh after making their way through an extra game to a rematch, and it was much the same as their previous encounter. Porkbelly actually played better defensively this time, and looked like the offense that blew out DeSade, Northwestoutheastern and went on a 31-point streak to put away Bleeding Heart. They jumped out 15-0 on Cretin. But it was the Asses who had the big streak this time, scoring all of their 24 unanswered after that. This time Cretin RB Rowdy van Duud was the advantage, and while all-SCAB TE Bud Wipe had two TD catches and Demetrius Award winner QB E. Chitton Dye threw for 3, Cretin only had 192 yards passing. But the Asses intercepted Porkbelly QB I.A. Chu 3 times. Porkbelly scored on a 14-yard return of a blocked punt to pull within two points in the third quarter, but K Alak Kittyporn twice missed field goals in the 4th quarter that could've given Porkbelly the lead.

Porkbelly 32, Our Lady 35

September 6
#14 Porkelly and #13 Our Lady started the season off with a bang. Our Lady led 21-7 at half, but then scored on their first two drives of the second half to tie it. The Johns took the lead again from there and stayed ahead, but the Swine kept pace. A long Porkbelly drive took till the last minute of the game, RB Ray Frollywood scored on a 14-yard run, then RB Earl Beness ran it in for two points. The Swine tried an onsides kick, but the Johns recovered to secure the win. Frollywood rushed for 108 yards and 2 TDs, and Porkbelly WR Andover Fist had 10 catches for 112 yards and a TD. Our Lady QB Burl Esk threw for 3 TDs and ran for 2, and TE Rock Hardcock had 9 catches for 120 yards and a TD.

Porkbelly 44, DeSade S&M 38

October 11
This mid-season conference showdown between #8 Porkbelly and #5 DeSade saw lead changes for every score until the 3rd quarter, then there were two-score rallies each way, and then Porkbelly getting the lead again in the 4th, what proved to be the winner. Swine RB Ray Frollywood started that last scoring drive off with a 45-yard run, then finished it with a 12-yarder. In the 2nd quarter, Porkbelly scored on passes of 41 yards and 33 yards from QB I.A. Chu to WR Lee Dean Mann. Frollywood finished with 127 yards rushing. Leathermen RB Justin Sane rushed for 88 yards and a TD. Porkbelly took charge of the Pack and would go on to sweep it, while DeSade would fall off and not even make the tournament.

Kootsville Tech 17, Grandma Jones 21

October 25
#16 Grandma Jones upset #4 Kootsville Tech. Grandma QB Graham Udder passed for 194 yards and 2 TDs, and rushed for 106 yds and a TD. Kootsville QB Zack Lee Wright had 269 yards and 2 TDs passing; WR Sonny Sydup had 102 yards receiving. Grandma WR Justin Heaven had 135 yds and 2 TDs receiving. The Bisquiteaters scored the go-ahead and winner with 2 1/2 minutes to go on a 24-yard pass from Udder to Heaven.

Holy Grail 34, Northwestsoutheastern 33

October 25
Unranked Holy Grail upset #6 Northwestsoutheastern, despite WR Avery Cunningham's 141 yards and 2 TDs receiving. The Fighting Pacifists had a long drive to start the 4th to a 28-yard field goal to tie the game at 27. Then the Swallows drove 80 yards in 10 plays for the winning score, a 17-yard run by TE Dick Sapp, who also had 13 catches for 120 yards and a TD. The Pacifists started life without QB Sebastian Ophuls pretty well, as here with Luke Beckenenger, who threw for 272 yards and 3 TDs, and ran for 44 yards, but this one got away, as did a third straight championship campaign in the 2nd round of the tournament.

Lady Warship 22, Kootsville Tech 21

September 8
#10 v. #13. Lady Warship RB Dick Payne rushed for 100 yards and had a TD catch. Kootsville Tech WR Everett Auerhaus had 9 catches for 132 yards. In the 4th quarter, Payne ran 35 yards to the Kootsville 17-yard line, then RB Buster Rass took it in from there. Payne then ran it in for a 2pt conversion to give the Fighting Seamen a 15-14 lead. Kootsville Tech responded with a drive that included a 23-yard reception by Auerhaus, and a 39-yard run by RB Tupelo Paar for a TD. But Lady Warship came right back, driving from their own 19 to a one-yard plunge by Payne for the winning score.

Intrepid Oak 37, HPEMC 42

September 29
Intrepid Oak rallied from 16-42 to scare #5 Heroes of Polar Exploration Memorial College. They even recovered an onsides kick to get the ball back after the last score with less than 30 seconds remaining, but had two pass attempts, one incomplete and the other for just nine yards. Worrywart QB Luke E. Hier threw for 299 yards and 2 TDs. Sled Dog QB Howard Juneau passed for 241 yards and 3 TDs, and ran for 53 yards and a score. RB Ron Wilde rushed for 111 yards and 2 TDs.

Porkbelly 27, Northwestsoutheastern 26

October 27
#12 Porkbelly made another bid to be the biggest conference rival of Northwestsoutheastern, who was ranked #4. Porkbelly RB Everett DeMall had 102 yards and a TD rushing, 35 yards and a TD receiving. Northwestsoutheastern RB Drew Cheers had 59 yards and a TD rush, 68 yards and a TD receiving. The receiving came on one play, that put the Fighting Pacifists ahead 6-3 in the first quarter. Nwse stalled at the Swine 8-yard line with less than two minutes to go, and behind by four, kicked a field goal, then tried an onsides kick. They recoverd, ran one play with QB Luke Beckenenger forced to scramble for five yards, then tried a 55-yard field goal and missed.

HPEMC 17, Cavalry 18

November 17
#15 Cavalry scored past midway of the 4th quarter and got a 2-point conversion to knock off #1 Heroes of Polar Exploration. Maybe the biggest upset in the legacy of Clan champs not going undefeated, and perhaps a foreshadow of the end of HPEMC's reign of domination of the conference. HP WR Eton Bayer-Wolff had 123 yards receiving and ran for a TD. Cavalry RB Rico Shea only had 25 yards rushing, but he got the carry for the winning 2-point play.

Galactic Soup Bowl (championship): UPRNY 17, Kootsville Tech 16

December 15
Puerto Rico returns to the championship game from the previous year, Kootsville Tech after a decade. See the full account here

Swampmush St. 17, Birddrops 21

October 7
#15 Birddrops knocks off #2 Swampmush St. and RB Jock Kitsch. Birddrops WR Ray Avope had 140 yards and a TD receiving. The Ragin' Roosters scored the go-ahead in the 4th quarter, and prior to that scored by blocking a punt the Swampmush St. had to make from their own end zone. The Mosquitos followed the 4th-quarter score with a long drive of their own, but fell short.

Bleeding Heart 32, Lady Warship 28

October 28
Bleeding Heart QB Chip Ophuls led the upset of #7 over #2. Lady Warship WR Tinker Taylor had 98 yards and a TD receiving. The lead changed with all but one score until the 3rd quarter where the Doves took the lead for good but had to keep ahead.

Cavalry 29, Bigfoot 29

November 11
Sometimes you gotta go for the tie. Just like the famous Harvard beats Yale game, Cavalry had to go for a 2-pt play because Bigfoot already had the lead 29-21. Cavalry scored as time ran out, and the 2-pt play after was good! They avoided the upset loss, though not the tie. Cavalry WR Cliff Sedge, RB Rico Shea, and Bigfoot QB Bo Gus had big games.

Toilet Bowl: Kootsville Tech 17, Dunne-Geep 27

November 25
#16 Dunne-Geep used a surprising defense and an opportunistic offense to defeat the favored #4 Spitters, a win over one of the leagues's most storied programs that was the high point of the Beetles'. While Dunne-Geep QB Jock Rash and his WR Milo Standards were threats, it wasn't them alone who felled Kootsville, but a marvelous team effort that had the Spitters chasing the Beetles the entire game. When Kootsville finally took the lead at the end of the 3rd quarter on a 14-yard pass from QB Chuck Ittaway to TE Fess Upp, the Beetles responded with two straight TD drives in the 4th. Standards had an 18-yard gain for the biggest play of one, and on the other Rash had runs of 11, 8 and 5 yards, the last one for the score. But it was defense and special teams play giving Dunne-Geep better field position most of the game that was the difference.

Finger Bowl: Lady Warship 20, Little Bighorn 21

November 25
Despite the gap in ranking between Dunne-Geep and Kootsville Tech., #5 Little Bighorn pulled off probably the biggest upset of the first round, considering how much #6 Lady Warship was favored and expectations for them. The Fighting Seamen were considered one of the top two or three teams from the beginning of the season and expected to meet Northwestsoutheastern for a rematch of their opening week showdown. Lady Warship even outplayed Little Bighorn, for the most part, with WR Latrine Peewell's dominating performance, WR Tinker Taylor's 2 TDs, and RB Dick Payne's 129 yards rushing. But the Ambushers intercepted Lady Warship and SCAB-leading passer, QB Harry Beaver, three times, and in the 4th quarter followed the Seamen's go-ahead TD with the game-winning drive, nine plays and 80 yards, RB Lee Dahorse scoring on a 23-yard pass from QB Windsor War. Warr then completed the pass to the SCAB reception leader, WR Barry El Graunz, for the two-point conversion and the lead. It proved to be the win, even though Payne burst 32 yards to the Little Bighorn 22-yard line to threaten again before the game ended.

Eucalyptus Leaf Bowl: HPEMC 22, Dunne-Geep 24

December 2
Knocking off Kootsville Tech. wasn't enough for these Beetles. Dunne-Geep edged the #11 Heroes of Polar Exploration, too, stormed the Western half of the tournament and headed to their first semi-final, the furthest advance ever. QB Jock Rash turned in the performance of the tournament so far to upstage Sled Dog star QB Howard Juneau and spark the Beetles win. The favored HPEMC jumped up 14-3 in the first quarter, and looked to have proven Dunne-Geep's previous upset more of a fluke. Rash got things going in the 2nd quarter with a 53-yard run, then passes of 17 yards to RB Herman Snowgood and 4 yards to WR Milo Standards for a TD, to pull Dunne-Geep within 4 points by half. After Dunne-Geep intercepted Juneau on the first drive of the 2nd half, Rash had a 24-yard run to set up the go ahead score, then engineered a 13-play, 80-yard drive on the next possession, including rushes of his own for 14, 12, 6 and 4 yards for the TD. The Sled Dogs scored with just over 2 minutes left in the game and got the 2-point conversion, but failed to recover the onsides kick. They got the ball back again, however, but RB Dave Allgon's 49-yard run to the Dunne-Geep 30 doomed the Sled Dogs before it could save them, as he could make neither the end zone nor the sidelines before killing the clock.

Punch Bowl: Northwestsoutheastern 23, Little Bighorn 20

December 2
Northwestsoutheastern so dominated 2005 and 2006 and those championship games that few may remember this game that nearly cost them the repeat and that legacy. #5 Little Bighorn was just a few minutes, one defensive play or a few feet from a goal post from completing an underdog sweep of the major bowl round of the tournament and counting defending champion and #1 ranked Northwestsoutheastern among the victims and their greatest conquest. Instead, Demetrius winner QB Sebastian Ophuls's great performance included the winning drive, escaped the surprising Ambushers, preserved the Fighting Pacifists' campaign for a second straight undefeated championship and left them the only conference champion in the semifinals. On the winning drive in the 4th quarter, Ophuls started off with an incomplete pass, but then ran for 25 yards and 2 yards. His 347 yards overcame a poor game from the running backs, the Ambushers limiting them to just 15 yards. Ophuls got 42 yards receiving from RB Sandy Groin, and while Little Bighorn was largely successful in double-teaming star WR Avery Cunningham, Ophuls still got the ball to him 6 times for 92 yards when he wasn't making the Ambushers pay the price, with 12 catches, 157 yards and 2 TDs to WR Ahman DeLamb. Even after pulling that out, the Pacifists had to suffer the grueling last drive by Little Bighorn, hogging the rest of the game and dragging out the outcome up to the agony of a 41-yard field goal attempt. The Pacifists had some luck on their side, too, as Ambusher kicker Neil Wounded Knee missed and the game ended without overtime. Pacifist kicker Kaman Ataboi, who was all-SCAB last year, contributed to the victory scoring on all three of his field goal attempts.

Grandma Jones 24, State Pen 27

October 22
#7 State Pen scored on the last play to avoid the upset from unranked Grandma Jones. WR Mustafa Carr got the winning TD on his only reception of the day. Grandma Jones QB Ferris Fair threw for 254 yards and 3 TDs. State Pen star RB Eubie Dedd rushed for 77 yards, but newcomer Rusty Peters rushed for 93.

Northwestsoutheastern 31, Dunne-Geep 25

October 22
#1 Northwestsoutheastern lead 31-7, then survived #12 Dunne-Geep's rally. QB Jock Rash and WR Milo Standards led a Dunne-Geep team that would go on to upsets next year, serving notice here. The Fighting Pacifist passing game was held in check, QB Sebastian Ophuls only 163 yards passing, and WR Avery Cunningham only 48 receiving, but RB Juarez Hell rushed for 82 yards and 2 TDs.

Our Lady 23, UPRNY 24

November 5
#13 Our Lady missed a 2-pt conversion midway through the 4th quarter, #3 UPRNY avoided the upset. RBs Juan Moorehead and Dick Burns, and WR Haywood Yablomie had a big game for Our Lady. UPRNY got 330 yards passing from QB Tyrone Essores, 140 yards and a TD receving from WR Orlando Difri.

Finger Bowl: UPRNY 27, State Pen 30

November 26
On the brink of elimination, defending champion and #9 State Pen scored twice in just over a minute in the 4th quarter to stun #5 University of Puerto of Rico and set up a match-up with Northwestsoutheastern in the Punch Bowl. The two teams traded scores throughout the game until Puerto Rico pulled away with a 10-point swing across the 3rd and 4th quarters, and appeared to have the Convicts locked down. But State Pen went on a 14-play march to the end zone to consume most of the 4th quarter. WR Mustafa Carr scored on a 16-yard pass from QB Reed Rights. The Convicts failed a 2-point conversion attempt, what would have put them in field goal range of a win. Behind 27-23, they executed an onsides kick nonetheless, and recovered. On the next play, Rights hit WR Hollis Assaway on a 42-yard pass play to the UPRNY 6-yard line, and RB Rusty Peters scored on a run from there on the next play.

Little Bighorn 27, Swampmush St. 26

September 4
This opening day contest saw #10 Swampmush St. miss a 2-pt try and fall to unranked Little Bighorn. Big games for Little Bighorn QB Windsor Warr, WR Frank Akount. The Ambushers held Swampmush star RB Jock Kitsch to just 6 yards rushing.

Flubber 22, DeSade S&M 27

September 11
#2 DeSade S&M had wiped out Our Lady week 1, then knocked off pre-season #2 Flubber, ranked #3 coming in to this game. Flubber QB Pierre Pressure had 283 yards passing, and Flubber scored on the last play of the game. The lead changed six times. Flubber lead 13-10 at half, then after another field goal, DeSade scored 17 unanswered points into the 4th quarter to take control.

Kootsville Tech 20, Bleeding Heart 24

September 11
#12 Bleeding Heart QB Chip Ophuls upsets the Ittaway bros, QB Jethro and WR Chuck and #5 Kootsville Tech. Chuck had 3 tds, 1 rushing. The Doves' winning score came with about 3 minutes left in the game. Ittaway threw for 241 yards and 2 TDs, Ophuls for 234 and 3.

Bleeding Heart 28, Cavalry 26

September 18
#11 Cavalry scored late to go ahead 26-25, but missed a 2-pt try. #8 Bleeding Heart drove down the last minute to kick the winning field goal. The Galloping Ghosts scored twice in the 1st quarter, the Doves twice in the 2nd including a 2-pt conversion the second time, then Cavalry came back with a field goal to lead 17-15 at half.

Birddrops 28, Grandma Jones 27

October 2
Another great one in this series. These traditional rivals haven't been the biggest league or even conference contenders, but they produced one of the best series, close and full of wild and thrilling games. Down 10-27 in the 3rd quarter, unranked Birddrops scored 18 points in the 4th, including a 2-point conversion and the game-winning field goal after an onsides kick. Birddrops RB Yoshi Itami rushed for 107 yards. #18 Grandma Jones WR Ku Chiku had 113 yards and a TD receiving.

Marx. Orth. 23, DeSade S&M 20

October 9
RB Tray Dwar of unranked Marx scored on a 4-yard run with 29 seconds left in the game to upset #3 DeSade. Four plays earlier, the Leathermen had kicked a field goal to extend their lead to 20-16. Marx WR Lou Smorals returned the kickoff 49 yards to the DeSade 42, then had an 18-yard gain on a reverse that set up the TD at the 4.

Flubber 13, Bunyan 14

October 16
After scoring the go-ahead TD with less than 3 minutes remaining, #13 Bunyan blocked a 40-yard field goal attempt by #3 Flubber's K Jaroslaw Lerner. Flubber outgained Bunyan, but the loss would be the beginning of a losing streak that dropped Flubber from the ranks and a chance a the tournament.

Bleeding Heart 28, UPRNY 36

October 23
Though #14 UPRNY scored again after it, K Perry Gway's 5th and 53-yard field goal was the winning score in the 4th quarter, the first time the Sharks had the lead in the game. They dodged the upset from #16 Bleeding Heart. The Doves led 28-20 at half, and QB Chip Ophuls passed for 243 yards and 3 TDs, with WR Bruce Easy getting 117 and 2 of that.

Cretin 28, Porkbelly 27

October 30
The lead swung wildly, #4 Porkbelly coming from a 3-14 deficit in the first quarter to a 27-14 lead by the end of the 3rd, then unranked Cretin scoring twice in the 4th for the stunner. More surprising was the way the Asses did it: though Cretin's strength was rushing, QB Stu Padasso outpassed Porkbelly star QB Xavier Onassis, with 4 TDs including the 2 in the comeback.

HPEMC 38, Cavalry 35

November 5
#11 Cavalry QB Homer DeBrave completed 23 of 30 passes for 342 yards and 4 TDs, but was intercepted 3 times. One of them was returned 27 yards to the Cavalry 10-yard line to set up the #14 Sled Dogs' first TD, and on Cavalry's next possession in which they were forced to punt after 3 plays, HPEMC WR Landon Pardee returned 66 yards to score. The victory, with Flubber's loss, put HPEMC back in the conference championship hunt.

Moonshine St. 22, Swampmush St. 21

November 5
The Bootleggers made one of the most even series in the league dead even at 13 wins apiece when their 2-point play following a TD early in the 4th quarter proved to be the winner. Swampmush St. RB Jock Kitsch had 63 yards rushing, 45 receiving. Moonshine QB Houghton Holler threw for 208 yards and a TD and rushed for 90 yards.

Lady Warship 38, Old Diehard 30

November 5
Just before half, unranked Old Diehard took a 20-14 lead. #3 Lady Warship did not lead again until they scored to take a 31-30 lead with 5 minutes left in the game. Their additional score was set up by a 29-yard punt return after holding Old Diehard on 3 plays. QB Dan DeTorpedos and RB Orson DeWater were the big players for Lady Warship. Old Diehard QB Barry Mienda-Morning rushed for 94 yards.

State Pen 21, Kootsville Tech 20

November 20
After #6 Kootsville got a 41-yard field goal from K Donny Brook in the 4th quarter to stretch the lead to 20-14, #1 State Pen drove 80 yards in 12 plays, the capper a 25-yard TD run by RB Moe Lester. The Convicts dodged the bullet, their only close contest of the season a surprising one from Kootsville that served notice for the future, if not for this year's tournament. State Pen WR Hollis Assaway had 8 catches for 118 yards, but Kootsville QB Jethro Ittaway passed for 292 yards.

Holy Grail 36, Lady Warship 37

September 6
SCAB game rushing record. Promise and payoff: #11 Holy Grail had the biggest single recruiting coup, and Lady Warship had the best recruiting crop. The payoff for all the expectation was quicker and more spectacular than anyone imagined. And the difference? Well, Swallows RB Shlomo Replay was one point shy of being as good as the crop (of Fighting Seamen recruits). Replay rushed for 258 yards and 2 TDs on 15 carries. The greatest rushing debut -- and performance period -- in SCAB history was upstaged by the drama of the whole game, in which the lead changed 8 times, with every score but two, right up to the final play, a 4-yard pass from #19 Lady Warship's QB Dan DeTorpedos to freshman WR Tinker Taylor! For the freshman Seamen, Taylor had 9 catches for 103 yards and TE Dick Happy had 82 yards and 2 TDs receiving.

Cavalry 22, Cretin 24

September 13
#10 Cretin spiked up the offense to post a 24-7 lead, then withstood a comeback to knock off #5 Cavalry and remain undefeated. Cretin WR Jess Shuddup took charge after a meager opening day performance, and helped freshman QB Stu Padasso to 256 yards passing. Padasso also ran for a TD. Cavalry QB Theo Graymare threw for 3 TD passes, though only 137 yards.

Brimstone 25, Northwestsoutheastern 24

September 20
Down 17-7 in the 3rd quarter, the #17 Fighting Pacifists scored on 3 straight possessions to take a 24-17 lead, only to have the #2 Hellfires score on the next drive and win the game with a 2-point play. Nwse freshman QB Sebastian Ophuls threw for only 134 yards, but 2 TDs. Brimstone WR Evan Jelek had 8 catches for 109 yards and a TD.

Northwestsoutheastern 26, DeSade S&M 27

November 1
#5 Northwestsoutheastern served notice on #3 DeSade that they are back to rival for the conference, dominating the first half. Then, after Demetrius Award-winning QB Payne Indiass led the DeSade offense on 2 lighting strikes in the 3rd to reverse the lead, burning the Pacifists with runs when not big passes, Nwse freshman QB Sebastian Ophuls showed he could do the same thing, and Nwse answered the Leathermen score for score. It ended, however, in heartbreak for the Pacifists, and status quo with DeSade in charge of the conference, on a 2-point attempt that failed: Pacifist RB Derayle Detrayne, who'd scored the first TD of the game, was tackled for a loss by the Leathermen. Despite the anticlimatic result, it was one of the most exciting Pack showdowns, surpassing even last season's DeSade high-scoring match with Cretin for closeness and drama.

Porkbelly 31, Cretin 34

November 1
#6 Cretin and #9 Porkbelly put on a show to rival the Nwse-DeSade game, as QB Xavier Onassis and RB Dwight Stuff fired up the Swine offense and burned the Asses. But while Onassis proved a dangerous passer, Cretin's freshman QB Stu Padasso answered with a record QB rushing performance, scoring 4 times on his own, including a 30-yard run on 3rd down on the game's last play for the victory. Dwight Stuff rushed for 92 yards and had 31 receiving. Cretin WR Jess Shuddup caught 13 passes for 124 yards.

DeSade S&M 22, Porkbelly 22

November 8
The #3 Leathermen were lucky to escape with a tie, which kept them in first place in the conference. Despite plenty of DeSade offense, thanks mainly to WR Bernie Payne, and QB Payne Indiass who was 20 of 33 for 264 yards and 3 TDs, #8 Porkbelly was trouble throughout the game, taking the lead on the last play of the first half, a 12-yard TD pass from QB Xavier Onassis to WR Javier Quecanititu. K Mark Etting-Ploi's 61-yard field goal at the end of the 3rd gave Porkbelly a 16-13 lead, but DeSade answered with a long drive to a field goal to tie the game again, then a quick TD after Porkbelly fumbled. Amazingly enough, the extra point attempt failed, and after Porkbelly drove to a 40-yard field goal, they recovered an onsides kick. The Swine drove to the DeSade 13-yard line, but opted for the field goal on 2nd down to avoid running out of time. Porkbelly RB Dwight Stuff rushed 13 times for 144 yards.

HPEMC 16, Flubber 21

November 15
#13 Flubber drove 85 yards in 15 plays to consume more than a third of the 4th quarter, scoring on an 11-yard pass from QB Pierre Pressure to WR Willy Wanker. On the following drive, #3 HPEMC's RB Orson Ovahorson was stopped on the Flubber 6-yard line as time expired. The win preserved a chance for Flubber to win the conference, and kept the Sled Dogs from clinching, also compromising a campaign in which HPEMC had returned to dominate the conference.

Finger Bowl: Oxherd 28, Porkbelly 27

November 29
The Crimson Hide, after their best season ever and making only their 2nd tournament appearance, and despite being the host of this bowl, seemed like pretenders against 11-time tournament attendee Porkbelly, and looked it for about half of this game. After taking a 7-3 lead in the first quarter, Oxherd gave way to the Swine, who scored on three straight possessions spanning the 2nd and 3rd quarters: RB Dwight Stuff caught a 20-yard TD pass from QB Xavier Onassis, RB Boon Doggle ran for a 1-yard TD, and K Mark Etting-Ploi kicked a 54-yard field goal. What's more Porkbelly was stifling Oxherd's star, SCAB reception leader WR Cole Esterhal. He finished with only 3 catches for 28 yards. The Swine, however, could not contain Esterhal without paying a cost, and that was making room for other Oxherd weapons, QB Theo Millstream and TE Rob Beef. A 31-yard pass from Millstream to Beef was the big play of a 5-play drive to a TD, a 9-yard pass from Millstream to WR Juarez LeBoeuf, at the end of the 3rd quarter that put Oxherd back in the game at 14-20. The score was the first of 4 straight by both sides that would change the lead 3 times, and add to Oxherd's Cinderella story the most exciting game of the tournament's first round. The Swine could not make a first down on their next possession, and their punt was blocked and returned 9 yards for a TD by Oxherd's Beef Wellington. The extra point by K Cy Lenz gave Oxherd the lead, 21-20. This time Porkbelly answered with a 69-yard drive in 10 plays, to an 11-yard TD pass from Onassis to WR Javier Quecanititu. On the next play from scrimmage, Millstream threw to RB C.P. Atone who picked up more on the run for a 30-yard gain. Millstream hit Atone again for 12 yards, after a Porkbelly penalty and a completion, LeBoeuf for 12 to the Porkbelly 2-yard line, then Beef in the end zone. The Crimson Hide held on for their first post-season victory. Millstream was 21 of 32 for 290 yards and 3 TDs.

Galactic Soup Bowl (championship): State Pen 21, DeSade S&M 26

December 20
DeSade S&M met State Pen in the championship four times, including three times in a row from 2002 to 2004. They had regular season meetings during this time, as well, and in every meeting the Convicts dominated in a manner similar to the championship results of 31-10 in 1998, 31-3 in 2002, and 30-0 in 2004. Except this game. In the middle of three straight meetings, QB Payne Indiass had the crowning moment of his college career and DeSade had their first championship. Indiass, one of the greatest passers in SCAB and LAF history, had his college career encapsulated in the highlight moment of his 46-yard run on third down in the third quarter, even though he would throw a 30-yard TD pass three plays later for the winning score. See the full account here.

Pencilmania 27, Porkbelly 30

September 7
The #11 Swine returned to tournament form last season, then brought in the best quarterback recruit in the league. But Xavier Onassis and the rest of the Swine were surprised by a better passing game from the unranked Big Lead. QB Phil Agree passed for 247 yards, to just 188 for Onassis, and led Pencilmania to a 10-0 lead in the first quarter, then a 27-15 lead in the 3rd. Onassis threw a 22-yard TD pass to WR Baldwin Young with less than a minute remaining in the game to pull out the win for Porkbelly.

Flubber 27, Bleeding Heart 30

September 14
Felix Post was not ready to give up #9 Bleeding Heart's championship. The QB overcame 3 interceptions to throw for 254 yards and 2 TDs and lead the Doves in a thriller over the #5 Ne'erdowells. Flubber led 24-13 after RB Jim Crack scored twice in less than 2 minutes at the end of the first half, the second time following one of Post's interceptions. But Bleeding Heart returned the favor, also scoring twice in short order thanks to an interception of Flubber QB Pierre Pressure. The Ne'erdowells, who had the best defense in the 10 Clan last year, had given up 30 or more points in each of their first 2 games, and were 0-2 after great expectations for the season. Bleeding Heart K Harold Enmod was instrumental for the win, hitting all 3 of his field goal attempts, including the game winner after Flubber tied the game at 27 in the 4th quarter.

Pencilmania 26, PU 23

September 21
The scrappiest team in the league at the time was #20 Pencilmania. In the previous 2 weeks, the Big Lead lost by 2 and won by 2, and after making the top 20 for the first time in more than a decade, justified it by knocking off the #17 Skunks -- by 3 points. Down 23-7 in the 2nd quarter, Pencilmania never led until K Frank Lee hit the game-winning field goal midway through the 4th. Despite lots of big performances, Lee was the story of the game. He made 4 of 5 field goal attempts. His game winner was from 49 yards, but even more amazing was the tying field goal on the previous drive: a 60-yarder! The Big Lead overcame 302 yards and 3 TDs passing from PU QB Drew Atensian. PU freshman TE Bud Lick had 8 catches for 109 yards and a TD, and freshman WR Shakti Monki had 11 catches for 100 yards. Pencilmania RB Art Less rushed for 106 yards, and WR Reed Palms had 6 catches for 62 yards and a TD.

Axlegrease Tech 17, Northwestsoutheastern 17

October 5
Unranked Axlegrease Tech. had not beaten the Fighting Pacifists since 1980, and since 1994 had not come within 22 points of them. That's why a tie was as much an upset, and a shocker, as a win for the Tarfaces. WR Otto Parts was the biggest part of the surprise, with 9 catches for 149 yards and both Axlegrease TDs. But RB Stu DeBaker added 72 yards rushing. QB Otto Glass needed just 171 yards and those 2 TDs. #3 Nwse's freshman QB Juarez Hell was 19 of 25 for 213 yards and a TD, and WR Evan Essent caught 8 passes for 114 yards. RB Drew Blanc, the league-leading rusher coming into the game, was limited to 55 yards, with a TD. Axlegrease scored first in the first quarter, on a 23-yard pass from Glass to Parts, but after the Pacifists scored twice to take the lead and appeared to be moving away, Axlegrease held tough in the 2nd half, scored again to tie in the 3rd quarter, then answered Nwse's field goal in the 4th with their own.

Mountain Valley 6, Bunyan 2

October 12
Mountain Valley added another interesting chapter to one of the league's oldest, most competitive rivalries, winning for the second year in a row and evening the series at 12-12-1, with a bizarre result against the run of play. The Lumberjacks outgained the Choirboys, Bunyan QB Ben Down passing for 283 yards to just 91 for Mountain Valley's Stig Matta, but the Bunyan offense never crossed the goal line. The Choirboys did if for them, giving Bunyan their only points by recovering a fumbled punt return in the end zone for a safety. Bunyan RB Vic Tree even topped Mountain Valley's ace, RB Avery Goodboy, with 63 yards rushing to 55. Bunyan freshman TE Yuri Normus caught 10 passes for 104 yards. The Choirboys' points came on 2 Dick Ensian field goals, one of 50 yards.

Our Lady 23, UPRNY 19

October 19
The #8 Johns finally found some competition in the conference. The #18 Sharks were neck and neck with Our Lady, the game tied or changing the lead 6 times, until the 4th quarter. Even after Our Lady moved ahead by 10 points on two straight scoring drives, the Sharks still came back with an incredible 2-play drive: a 41-yard run by freshman RB Yojimbo Waddup, and a 38-yard TD pass from freshman QB Tyrone Essores to TE Marco Zorro. Then, going for the win rather than a tie, Puerto Rico in New York tried for 2 extra points, failing with an incomplete pass, before an onsides kick, which they recovered. The game ended with UPRNY WR Arman Enhavana down at the Our Lady 22-yard line after a reception. Essores and the Sharks served notice that there's a new gang in the neighborhood. Essores threw for 247 yards and 2 TDs, to 213 and 2 TDs and an interception for Our Lady QB Dil Doe. Our Lady RB Juan Moorehead rushed for 103 yards, and WR Lou Sliving caught 7 passes for 108 yards and a TD. Our Lady K Tray Sheek was 3 for 3 on field goal attempts, UPRNY K Sandy Ego was 2 of 2.

Puke 28, Oxherd 26

October 19
In a back-and-forth contest much like the one above, #20 Puke managed to escape a challenge from another team trying to upset the order of the conference. In this one, #11 Oxherd led 20-13 in the 3rd quarter, Puke scored twice in the 4th, including a 2-point conversion, to take a 28-20 lead, then Oxherd came back again to score with less than a minute in the game. The Crimson Hide had to try for 2 points just to tie the game, but failed. They also failed on their onsides kick attempt. Puke QB Jethro Upp passed for 256 yards and 2 TDs and ran for a TD. WR Gunther Pott was the scourge of the Oxherd defense, with 7 catches for 144 yards and a TD. Puke, meanwhile, had their hands full with Oxherd RB Gordon Stompt, who rushed for 125 yards, including the 17-yard TD in the last minute, and TE Rob Beef, who caught 12 passes for 93 yards and a TD.

Our Lady 27, Bleeding Heart 24

November 16
When #5 Our Lady tried for 2 points after a TD in the 4th quarter to cut #3 Bleeding Heart's lead to 2, they never imagined how it might create a tie rather than prevent it. On Bleeding Heart's next possession, the Johns sacked Bleeding Heart QB Felix Post in the end zone for a safety, to make it 24-24. When Our Lady got the ball on the kick after the safety, but was held, it looked like the result might just be that in the showdown for the conference. But Our Lady got the ball again and used up the clock in driving to the Bleeding Heart 17-yard line, where they put the game away with a 34-yard Tray Sheek field goal. The Doves had led by 10 twice in the game, including late in the 3rd quarter, and it appeared the defending league champs were still masters of the Johns. But the 2000 champs returned to the Non-Conference throne. The game turned out a showdown of Our Lady WR Lou Sliving and Bleeding Heart freshman WR Bruce Easy. Sliving caught 11 passes for 126 yards and a TD, Easy caught 9 for 138 and 2 TDs.

Cretin 30, DeSade S&M 42

November 23
The #11 Cretin Asses certainly had the offense to cause the #1 Leathermen grief again, and did their part to make this one of the biggest title shootouts in 10 Pack history. Cretin QB Drew Piedrors even passed for more yards than league-leading passer Payne Indiass of DeSade: 243 to to 231; both threw for 4 TDs. But all that only served to set up the astonishing triumph for the Leathermen, and a more astonishing performance for Indiass, one that may have got him the Demetrius Award if he hadn't clinched it already. Caught in this scoring battle with Piedrors and his dynamite WRs -- Sawyer Hiney had 3 TD catches -- Indiass took off running. He burned the Asses for runs of 46, 38 for a TD, and, after Cretin cut DeSade's lead to 35-30 with 3 minutes left in the game and DeSade recovered the onsides kick, 45 yards to the Cretin 6-yard line to set up another DeSade TD. Indiass finished with 138 yards rushing. Perhaps no one really knew he was capable because he'd always thrown so much. TE Phil Awful did not sit idly by: 9 catches for 109 yards and 2 TDs. WR Caesar Roughly had 2 TD catches, and RB Lou Netique rushed for 42 yards and a TD and had 65 yards receiving. Cretin WR Jess Shuddup had 7 catches for 99 yards, and TE Laurel Reeth had a TD catch. Hiney was effective enough with the 3 TDs, but with 74 yards on 7 catches and in the losing cause, was no threat to Indiass's limelight. The Leathermen finished the season as the league's only unbeaten, ranked #1.

Beanfest Bowl: HPEMC 26, Dunne-Geep 27

November 30
The #12 Beetles won their 4th straight close game, the 3rd of those by one point. This time they prevailed when the #9 Sled Dogs failed at an attempt to win by one: RB Orson Ovahorson was tackled a yard short of the goal line on a 2-point conversion attempt at the end of the game. HPEMC also missed a 54-yard field goal attempt 2 plays later after an onsides kick. The score was tied at every increment until that last one, and each time the tying team was the next to score and take the lead, until Dunne-Geep scored twice in a row to make it 27-20 in the 4th quarter. HPEMC QB Saul Etude passed for 207 yards to just 156 for Dunne-Geep's Hunt Grubb, but Grubb threw for 3 TDs, to 2 for Etude, and rushed for 52 yards. The best performance of the game came from HPEMC RB Orson Ovahorson, 98 yards and a TD rushing, 35 yards and a TD receiving. Grubb was once again the play-maker, but the Beetles also got a hand from TE Bobby Fallis, who had 82 yards and a TD receiving. Dunne-Geep won it's first tournament game and is undefeated in post-season play, at 2-0.

Salad Bowl: Cretin 29, Grandma Jones 24

November 30
For the 3rd week in a row, since their upset of State Pen, QB Gus Edupp and the #6 Grandma Jones Bisquiteaters were spectacular. Edupp was 25 of 35 for 348 yards and a TD, and star TE Stiggy Bunz had 13 catches for 113 yards. But Grandma blew a 10-point lead in the 4th quarter, giving the ball to a dangerous #11 Cretin team that came close to DeSade S&M late in the game the previous week. The Asses scored on two straight drives, the first following a 14-yard Grandma punt that set them up at the Grandma 42-yard line. Cretin QB Drew Piedrors passed for 240 yards, but 4 TDs and no interceptions, while the Asses also intercepted Edupp twice. Cretin star WR Sawyer Hiney was kept quiet by the Bisquiteaters, just 3 catches for 57 yards. Unfortunately one of those was a 33-yarder to the Grandma one-yard line that set up the winning TD. Fellow WR Jess Shuddup got that TD, as well as 2 others, and 83 yards on 8 catches. Cretin also came up with another target, RB Luther Number, who caught 5 passes for 69 yards and a TD. Grandma got good performances from their RBs, in controlling the game till the 4th quarter: Roland Haye rushed for 69 yards and a TD, and had 87 yards and a TD receiving; Oliver Children had 32 yards and a TD rushing, and 57 receiving.

PU 24, Kootsville Tech 18

October 13
A week after the #5 Spitters took control of the Little 10 with a victory over defending champion Grandma Jones, the unranked Skunks shocked them with an upset that threw the conference up for grabs again and knocked Kootsville from the ranks of the unbeaten. PU scored on its first 2 possessions of the game, then again in the 2nd quarter to answer a Spitter score, and held on for the victory. The Skunks held Kootsville star WR Russell Upgrubb to just 1 catch for 6 yards, although that was for a TD, and QB Jethro Ittaway to just 137 yards passing. PU QB Drew Atensian passed for 218 yards and 3 TDs.

Little Bighorn 24, Cavalry 28

October 20
Just like the previous year, the game was a nailbiter, and just like last year, the Galloping Ghosts, ranked #15 this time, knocked off the Avengers, ranked #4. In the 4th quarter Little Bighorn tied the game at 21 on a 25-yard pass from QB Detlef Toupee to WR Terry Toreal and a pass to Howie Wonder-Warr for the 2-point conversion. Then Little Bighorn went ahead on a 36-yard Felix Unguent field goal with less than 4 minutes to play. But that proved too much time for the Cavalry. A 52-yard pass from Cavalry QB Theo Graymare to TE Mark Cards set up the 8-yard scoring pass to Cards for the game winner. Graymare completed 23 of 33 passes for 287 yards and a TD, and rushed for 36 yards and a TD. Cards caught 8 passes for 113 yards and a TD. WR Shelby Cummin-Roundemounten caught 9 for 116 yards. RB Russell Cattle rushed for 62 yards and a TD. Toupee was 15 of 27 for 199 yards and a TD, with an interception, and ran for 38 yards.

Corncob 21, Kootsville Tech 20

November 20
Two weeks before the #9 Spitters had cleared their toughest competition and were heading to a Little 10 championship after their worst season ever. Then, incredibly, they suffered their second straight upset, and the second upset in a row to Corncob, this time ranked #16, the best team in Little 10 history losing to the worst for 2 straight years. It was just as incredible the way it happened. The Spitters had fought back from a 10-0 deficit in the first quarter. But Corncob RB Roberto Scumbaggio scored on a 23-yard run with less than 2 minutes in the game to make it 20-19, Kootsville. Then Scumbaggio ran for the 2-point conversion to give the Kernels the win. Scumbaggio had 91 yards rushing. Corncob freshman WR Ty Dai caught 9 passes for 121 yards and a TD. Kootsville QB Jethro Ittaway was 16 of 23 for 215 yards and 2 TDs, with an interception.

Porkbelly 24, Northwestsoutheastern 23

November 3
The #9 Swine put the bite back in their rivalry with the #7 Fighting Pacifists, winning for the second year in a row. Porkbelly QB Linus Pockets threw for less yards than Nwse's Nolan Void, and was also intercepted 4 times. Despite that, Pockets threw for 2 TDs, ran for another, and the Swine held off a late charge to escape with the narrow win. Porkbelly TE Tray Rich caught 4 passes for 61 yards, including a 40-yarder for TD that tied the game at 7. Void was 15 of 32 for 223 yards and 3 TDs, with 2 interceptions.

DeSade S&M 32, Cretin 29

November 17
After perhaps their most dominating season and having clinched the conference title, the #2 Leathermen were probably ready to forget about their curse of upsets and losses in big games. They couldn't get out of a season without at least a scare, and it came from the team that has ruined their conference title bid 3 times. The #14 Asses went ahead 29-24 in the 3rd quarter on RB Luther Number's 15-yard run, set up by a 41-yarder from RB Turner Over. But DeSade struck back on the next possession, capping an 85-yard drive with a 33-yard pass from QB Payne Indiass to TE Phil Awful. RB Rod Wyler ran for the 2-point conversion to give DeSade a field goal's worth of a lead, but the Leathermen held off Cretin from there. Awful caught 7 passes for 126 yards. Indiass threw for 244 yards and 3 TDs. Cretin QB Drew Piedrors threw for 242 yards and 3 TDs. Over caught 5 passes for 83 yards and a TD, and WR Sawyer Hiney caught 9 for 84 and a TD.

Dust Bowl: State Pen 19, HPEMC 20

December 1
After suffering the indignity of losing their home bowl several times, including to Little 10 teams, then for the last two years not even making the Eucalyptus Leaf, the #11 Sled Dogs got some payback with a stunning upset of the #4 Convicts. When State Pen struck with a 51-yard pass from QB Lou Skannon to WR Cyril Killur to set up an 11-yard TD by the same combo in the first quarter, it looked like the rout that was expected, after HPEMC's previous few years in the post-season and the 45 points they gave up to Little Bighorn to lose the 10 Clan again. But after that, State Pen settled for field goal attempts 5 times, making 4 of them, and it wasn't enough. The Sled Dogs chipped away, with a field goal in each of the 3rd and 4th quarters, then with the score 19-13, got the ball on their own 34 with 4 1/2 minutes in the game. A 21-yard pass from QB Saul Etude to WR Buck Naked and a 15-yard penalty on State Pen were the big moves. Then after a 2-yard loss by Etude put them back to the State Pen 20, it was RB Cary Burden, and not league rushing leader and All-SCAB RB Wolfgang Rape, who dealt the knock-out punch with a TD run. Etude was 20 of 38 for 222 yards and a TD. Naked caught 7 passes for 96 yards, and Rape was held to 45 yards rushing. Killur caught 5 passes for 114 yards and the TD. The Sled Dogs made it to the western semifinal by the odd route, to face the Pacifists who won HPEMC's conference bowl. For the first time, the semifinal would have two wildcard teams.

Eastern Semi: Bleeding Heart 22, DeSade S&M 21

December 8
The contest considered the real championship showdown, between the league's two undefeated teams ranked first and 2nd, and two winning programs with bad luck at winning the biggest prize, lived up to the anticipation. One of them had to lose, and the misfortune continues for #2 DeSade S&M -- the team whose trouble has been getting to the championship game: only one appearance in 1997, where they lost, despite being a front-runner since the late 80s. #1 Bleeding Heart, the team with hard luck in the championship game, would make their 5th appearance, after losing all the previous, including last year's to Our Lady. For the first time, Bleeding Heart would be the favorite. The game began with no such end apparent, as the Leathermen ripped Bleeding Heart for 2 TDs on their first 2 possessions. First DeSade zipped down the field, 85 yards in 8 plays, scoring on a 5-yard pass from QB Payne Indiass to WR Caesar Roughly. The big play was a 23-yard pass from Indiass to RB Rod Wyler. A bad punt gave the Leathermen the ball on the Bleeding Heart 36-yard line, and it was Indiass to Roughly again from 4 yards, capping the 6-play drive that included a 14-yard reverse run by WR Dresden Black and a 12-yard pass to TE Phil Awful. Bleeding Heart missed a field goal on their next possession, but in the 2nd quarter, after DeSade missed a field goal, the Doves struck even more quickly. Bleeding Heart QB Felix Post threw to RB Gibson Gibbs who finished off the play for a 40-yard gain, then on the next play the same pair covered 18 yards to the end zone. Then Bleeding Heart used 11 plays to go 48 yards and consume all but a minute of the half, with Gibbs carrying for 19 yards on the big play, and WR Ryan Soap scoring on a 2-yard pass from Post. The Doves had made a game of it, 14-14 at the half. The Leathermen took the lead again in the middle of the 3rd quarter on a 23-yard pass from Indiass to Wyler. But as the quarter expired, Bleeding Heart was driving again, and on the second play of the 4th, Post hit Demetrius Award-winning WR I.B. Long for 19 yards and a TD. Bleeding Heart lined up for a 2-point conversion, and RB Layton Feelings ran it in. The decision seemed a risk, at the time, or maybe just spoiling the drama of trying for it later, but it turned out to be the winning play. Bleeding Heart had the chance to score after that, driving to the Leathermen 3-yard line, but they lost yards on the next two plays and K Owen Bytheway missed a 25-yard field goal attempt. That seemed a terrible turn, but as the Doves held DeSade on their next drive, it preserved the drama of the 2-point play and the one-point spread. In the end, this match-up of the two best offenses in the league -- of phenomenal QB Indiass who did not throw an interception all year and the two players who astonishingly topped him in the Demetrius Award tally, league-leading receiver and TD scorer WR I.B. Long of Bleeding Heart, and Indiass's own team-mate, TE Phil Awful, second in receptions and first in receiving yards -- turned on defensive play. Both teams showed fireworks, but the Leathermen had the Doves pinned early and then it was the Doves shutting down the Leathermen to help win it. Each QB threw for 3 TDs, but Bleeding Heart's Post for only 177 yards and DeSade's Indiass for 162. Long was held to just 2 catches for 42 yards, though one was a TD. Awful had 5 catches for 54 yards. The two big receivers in yardage were RBs: Bleeding Heart's Gibbs with 4 catches for 74 yards and a TD, and DeSade's Wyler with 4 catches for 73 yards and a TD. The teams had been called mirror images, and in this game they were almost identical right down to the score. Bleeding Heart's 5th Galactic Soup Bowl was their second in a row, and their first 3 were in a row from 1988 to 1990. They were the second team to go to 3 straight championship games, on the heels of Whooperville A&M. Whooperville, however, won all theirs.

Birddrops 28, Puke 28

September 9
It's hard to tell just who stole who's thunder in this one. When the smoke cleared in this astounding clash, the incredible tie score left everyone speechless. #5 Birddrops began by stunning #11 Puke, as QB Adam Bomb led the Ragin' Roosters to a 28-7 lead late in the third quarter. Bomb's exploits included a 36-yard TD run and 46-yard TD pass to WR Jay Byrd. But just as incredibly, Puke struck back with a 14-point 4th quarter that included a 2-point conversion and an onsides kick to set up the field goal that prevented the loss. Puke was also led by their QB, Hugh Wish, who rushed for 102 yards and 2 TDs. Puke RB Ivan Ulcer added 113 yards rushing.

DeSade S&M 27, State Pen 31

September 9
Upton O'Good and Payne Indiass, who were the two greatest passers in SCAB history until Harlan Daggers, met on the playing field. The #19 Leathermen, after whipping State Pen the previous year and seeing hope in them for another win for this season, still packed plenty of punches. But this time, for everything DeSade did right, the #3 Convicts had a response. DeSade freshman QB Payne Indiass showed his promise, with 244 yards passing and 3 TDs. But State Pen QB Upton O'Good passed for 352 yards and 3 TDs. DeSade star WR Dresden Black caught 9 passes for 125 yards and all 3 passing TDs, upstaging his counterpart, Cyril Killur, who had 8 catches for 89 yards. But Killur scored on a reverse, and the Convicts also retorted with freshman WR Ike Hill, who upstaged Black with 10 catches for 148 yards and 2 TDs. DeSade RBs Payne Staking and Rod Wyler got rolling and easily outgained the Convicts' rushers. But State Pen RB Mel Praktis caught 5 passes for 35 yards and RB Roman Noir had a TD reception.

Cavalry 31, Little Bighorn 29

September 30
#5 Little Bighorn had QB Detlef Toupee, but #12 Cavalry had receivers that made the difference, as the Galloping Ghosts rose up to knock off the Ambushers. Cavalry TE Mark Cards caught 11 passes for 140 yards and 2 TDs, and WR Orson Round caught 9 passes for 118 yards and a TD, giving freshman QB Theo Graymare numbers to top Toupee: 28 of 43 for 354 yards and 3 TDs. RB Russell Cattle gave Cavalry extra punch with the run, as he gained 83 yards and scored. Toupee was 18 of 33 for 248 yards and a TD. The Ambushers staged a fierce comeback. Down 31-17 in the fourth, they scored twice, but both times failed to make 2-point conversions, including the last chance with under a minute remaining that would have tied the game.

Grandma Jones 27, Birddrops 27

September 30
The #10 Biscuiteaters returned to produce another thriller in a series that has had several, especially in the early days. Grandma QB Gus Edupp outbombed #4 Birddrops's QB Adam Bomb, and after wild streaks and several lead changes, the smoke cleared on a tie, the second of the season for Birddrops. The Ragin' Roosters scored on their first two possessions, looking to rout Grandma as they have done in the more recent series history. But Grandma took over to gain a 17-14 lead by halftime. The real star was Grandma WR Watermelon Rhines, who caught 10 passes for 147 yards. Birddrops star WR, Gustav Eher, had 6 catches for 46 yards. Edupp was 19 of 27 for 251 yards and a TD, with an interception. Bomb was 20 of 30 for just 199 yards, with 2 TDs.

Cretin 17, Marx. Orth. 16

September 30
The unranked Asses rose up to spoil the #7 Big Red's ride. In a duel of receivers, Marx WR Ira Fuse caught 11 passes for 149 yards and 1 TD, and Cretin WR Sawyer Hiney caught 10 for 132. But Cretin also had WR Jess Shuddup, who caught 7 passes for 81 yards and a TD. Cretin QB Drew Piedrors was 22 of 34 for 272 yards, Marx's Les Newcomb, 19 of 36 for 242 yards. Marx failed on a 2-point conversion attempt in the fourth that left the score at 17-13. They got the field goal that could've put them ahead with that conversion, and kicker Theo Mackey then missed a last 51-yard attempt.

Flubber 18, Cavalry 17

October 7
#12 Flubber QB Noah Vale threw a 12-yard pass to WR Adam Upp for a TD on the game's final play, then carried the ball for the 2-point conversion to give the Ne'erdowells a thrilling win over the #10 Galloping Ghosts. Surprising Flubber moved to 5-1 and was shaking up the order of the 10 Clan. Flubber RB Jim Crack rushed for 96 yards. Cavalry WR Orson Round caught 13 passes for 120 yards and a TD.

Cavalry 24, Bigfoot 28

October 14
#10 Cavalry had the passing threat and was supposed to have the better rusher, RB Russell Cattle. But the big Russell on this day was unranked Bigfoot's freshman RB Russell Leaves, who had 13 carries for 202 yards and 1 TD. Cavalry watched a 21-7 lead evaporate as Leaves gave the best rushing performance, possibly the best offensive performance, in Tracker history, and led his team to an embarrassing upset of the Galloping Ghosts.

Northwestsoutheastern 21, Porkbelly 28

October 14
Freshman RB Dwight Stuff's 1-yard TD run in the fourth quarter gave the unranked Swine their first victory over the Fighting Pacifists since 1990, and was another upset and the second conference loss in a surprising downturn season for the Pacifists, who came in here #13. The teams were almost even in offense, which itself was a surprise by Porkbelly. Swine QB Linus Pockets completed 20 of 32 for 254 yards and 3 TDs, with 2 interceptions. Nwse's Nolan Void was 20 of 38 for 253 yards and a TD. Porkbelly RB Price Warr rushed for 97 yards, Pacifist RB Drew Blanc for 82 and a TD. Swine WR Breton Surkases caught 9 passes for 97 yards and 2 TDs.

Our Lady 20, Puke 23

October 21
If there was a secret to beating Our Lady, Puke had it. Considered to have even less a chance after their incredible upset of the Johns for the championship the previous year, the #3 Mess heaped more upset on #1 Our Lady, spoiling an undefeated season and taking charge of the run for the Fish Bowl. The high flying Johns seemed to be unreachable this season, especially after Puke had key graduation losses, but after this it couldn't be ignored that Puke was defending their championship. While Our Lady still put up big numbers, Puke played opportunistic defense and got a surprise performance from freshman RB Gene Pool. While Pool rushed for only 19 yards, he had 8 catches for 156 yards and a TD. Kicker Nathan Yahoo hit all three field goal attempts, including the winner in the fourth quarter. Our Lady QB Holly Fame completed 26 of 43 passes for 336 yards and 2 TDs. WR Lou Sliving caught 8 passes for 99 yards and a TD. RB Dwight Moves rushed for 69 yards and caught 3 passes for 95 yards.

Puke 19, Bleeding Heart 24

October 28
Puke lasted only a week in the #1 spot, as #11 Bleeding Heart upended them a week after Puke's upset of Our Lady. Bleeding Heart got big plays from their big players, RB Gibson Gibbs and WR I.B. Long, who'd been somewhat quiet this season. Gibbs rushed for 110 yards, with big runs that kept drives going and the ball away from Puke. Long caught 10 passes for 131 yards and a TD, and scored the first TD of the game on a run. Puke QB Hugh Wish passed for 256 yards, to 243 for Bleeding Heart's Felix Post.

Finger Bowl: Puke 14, Flubber 19

November 25
In what may have been the greatest victory in their history, the #16 Flubber Ne'erdowells, the biggest underdog and lowest-ranked team in this tournament, knocked off the defending champion and #4 Puke Mess. Puke ripped 88 yards to a TD in just 5 plays in the first quarter, the last two passes from QB Hugh Wish to RB Ivan Ulcer of 40 and 37 yards. But Flubber slugged out an 89-yard drive in 14 plays at the end of the first going into the 2nd quarter, then took the lead on a safety, when Puke WR Bo Dasius fumbled a punt return into the end zone and fell on it. Flubber was more impressive with their opening drive of the second half, capped by a 16-yard pass to WR Adam Upp that put them in control of Puke, 16-7. Then, following a Puke TD late in the fourth quarter, Flubber recovered the onsides kick and drove to a 43-yard Petey Atrisian field goal, leaving less than two minutes for Puke and out of danger of a field goal. Flubber QB Noah Vale upstaged Puke's Hugh Wish by virtue of leading the win, if he didn't exactly outplay him. Vale completed 20 of 34 passes for 214 yards and 2 TDs, and ran for 22 yards. Wish was 15 of 33 for 224 yards and 2 TDs, rushing for 74 yards on 7 carries. Flubber freshman RB Nestor Ninnies caught 6 passes for 73 yards and a TD, WR Adam Upp 7 for 80 yards and a score.

Salad Bowl: DeSade S&M 20, State Pen 28

November 25
And Upton O'Good and Payne Indiass had two meetings. The #8 Convicts reaffirmed their regular-season decision against the #7 Leathermen, as QB Upton O'Good, whose college career would end without a Demetrius Award, was more efficient than DeSade freshman sensation Payne Indiass. The State Pen wideouts got the better of their Leathermen counterparts, again, although DeSade TE Phil Awful made up for that, as he and WR Dresden Black were the game's two leading receivers in yardage. O'Good completed 20 of 24 passes for 260 yards and 3 TDs, with 1 interception, and rushed for 30 yards. Freshman WR Ike Hill, All-SCAB selection with his surprising first season, caught 7 passes for 90 yards and 1 TD, while his upper-class teammate, WR Cyril Killur caught 5 passes for 56 yards and a TD, but also scored on a run. RB Roman Noir scored on a TD reception. DeSade almost matched State Pen in yardage, as Indiass was 23 of 40 for 246 yards and 1 TD, with 28 yards rushing. Awful caught 10 passes for 92 yards and a TD, Black 8 for 98 yards. RB Payne Staking ran for a TD.

Dust Bowl: Grandma Jones 17, Bleeding Heart 20

December 2
A surprisingly defensive game, in which the two passing offenses were frequently thwarted by sacks of their quarterbacks, turned into a scoring tussle in the second half, and #9 Bleeding Heart ripped 66 yards in three plays for the winning score to end the amazing season of the Bisquiteaters. Bleeding Heart QB Felix Post threw an 11-yard TD pass to WR Harold Enmod with just over 5 minutes left in the game. That was set up by a 15-yard run by RB Gibson Gibbs and a 28-yard pass to TE Hugh Main. Grandma Jones had been in command, mainly with their defense, and led 10-0 at the half. But the Doves had two long scoring drives to keep the ball and take over at 13-10 by the 4th quarter. The Bisquiteaters went ahead again on a 3-yard TD pass from QB Gus Edupp to TE Stiggy Bunz, capping a long drive of their own. Neither offense was quite in sync. Edupp completed just 12 of 22 passes for 183 yards and 2 TDs. Bleeding Heart's Post was 13 of 26 for 156 yards with 2 TDs and 1 interception. Grandma contained Bleeding Heart star WR I.B. Long, for just 3 catches for 28 yards. Grandma WR Watermelon Rhines caught 5 passes for 90 yards, including a spectacular 31-yard play for the first TD of the game. The Bisquiteaters came into the game ranked no. 1 in their first post-season appearance in 10 years, their first Dust Bowl since 1983. Bleeding Heart was the team that ended Grandma's last tournament bid in 1990, 45-6 in the Western semi. It was also the second year in a row that a team from the Non-Conference beat the Little 10 host of the Dust Bowl. Puke beat State Pen the previous year en route to a championship.

Our Lady 23, Cretin 20

September 4
RB Mel Stripper, the star of Our Lady's offense, caught a 10-yard pass in the end zone as time expired to lift the top-ranked Johns past Cretin and avoid the upset. Cretin came in hoping to continue as a passing power, but with freshmen at quarterback, Drew Piedrors, tight end, Todd Rie, and wide receiver, Sawyer Hiney. Our Lady came in with newcomers in the receiver corps, too, but with a veteran rushing game expected to be one of the league's best: RBs Love Macon and Mel Stripper. Macon rushed for 50 yards and 2 TDs, Stripper rushed for 86 yards and caught 3 passes for 25 yards and that game-winning score. But the young Asses, in particular Hiney, dominated and nearly beat Our Lady. Hiney caught 7 passes for 90 yards and both Cretin TDs.

Northwestsoutheastern 25, Brimstone 24

September 18
The #3 Brimstone Hellfires showed they are no pretender as a league power, leading #1 Northwestsoutheastern for most of the game and 24-15 in the 4th quarter. But the Fighting Pacifists, who scored a two-point conversion on a botched extra-point attempt in the 2nd quarter, scored twice in 3 minutes near the end of the game to make an exciting, memorable contest also a victory. This game might as well have been the national championship, at least for the show. Passing power Northwestsoutheastern proved they could run against Brimstone, at least in strategic moments, and certainly used their RBs as an important part of their passing offense. QB Nolan Void rushed for 40 yards, and on their 2nd-quarter drive to answer Brimstone's first 10 points, the Pacifists rushed 9 times, to 5 passes, including the TD play, a one-yarder by freshman Drew A. Blanc. Meanwhile, Brimstone, the rushing power, showed Nwse they could be dangerous passing, too, particularly with wide receiver Lloyd O'Meidy whose 8 catches for 115 yards and 2 TDs topped the Fighting Pacifist receivers Upson Downs and U.R. Here. Brimstone limited Void to only 151 yards passing, and only 14 completions of 25 attempts. Brimstone RB Ira Pent continued to be effective. Nwse hindered him, but he still got 72 yards rushing to lead all rushers in the game. Brimstone's Dave Rath gained 31 yards. With about 4 minutes left in the game, the Pacifists scored on a 14-yard pass from Void to Downs, then recovered an onsides kick. Three plays later, Victor E. Garden kicked a 42-yard field goal to give Nwse the one-point lead, thanks to the earlier fortuitous 2-point play. Garden's kick also kept him perfect for the season, his 6th straight field goal without a miss.

Footmouth 28, Marx. Orth. 27

September 25
In a thriller at #11 Footmouth, the #7 Big Red were riding high in the national rankings and bidding to be a conference contender but found themselves still chasing the Heels, then falling just short. Footmouth led 21-0 at the half, but Marx mounted a fierce comeback. The 4th quater was nothing but TD drives, as Marx tied the score with a 2-point conversion play, Footmouth scored again, then Marx scored on the last play of the game but failed on a final 2-point try. The game was fairly defensive despite the scoring. Footmouth RB Randy Bastard was the most valuable player, rushing for 98 yards and 2 TDs. Marx WR Hugh Mann caught 5 passes for 80 yards and a TD, and QB Les Newcomb threw for 3 TDs. But it was Newcomb who failed to get into the end zone when he ran on the final 2-point play.

Northwestsoutheastern 38, Marx. Orth. 27

October 9
The unranked Big Red picked a good team to prove they could still play: the top-ranked Fighting Pacifists. Nwse hardly expected their second nailbiter of the season to come from Marx. By burning the Pacifists for a number of big plays, Big Red QB Les Newcomb threw for more yards than Nwse's Nolan Void, 256 to 237, and Marx led Nwse three times, including 27-24 in the 4th quarter. But in the end it was another sensational comeback for Void and the Pacifists. Marx stunned Nwse on the game's opening drive, 67 yards capped by a 22-yard pass to RB Denny Great. In the 2nd quarter, Marx moved 70 yards on 4 straight Newcomb completions and WR Ira Fuse's 9-yard TD run on a reverse, to go up 14-7. After Nwse went up 24-17 in the 3rd quarter on Void's 20-yard TD pass to WR U.R. Here, Newcomb broke loose for a 65-yard scoring run on the next drive to tie the game. Theo Macky gave Marx the lead with a 44-yard field goal in the 4th quarter. But on the ensuing drive, Nwse drove 83 yards in 12 plays, including a 24-yard pass to TE Jumbo Shrimp to the Marx 3. Here scored from there on a reception. Marx's Newcomb came right back with a 21-yard pass to WR Hugh Mann to the Marx 41, but on the next play threw an interception. On the next play, which proved to be the last of the game, Nwse RB Wayne Wacks ran 36 yards for a score. Marx WR Ira Fuse finished with 8 catches for 109 yards and the rushing TD. Nwse RB Drew Blanc rushed for 97 yards and a TD, but on 21 carries.

Kootsville Tech 22, Whooperville A&M 31

October 16
The #8 Spitters were handed an upset by archrival and #15 Whooperville A&M. Kootsville gave the Fighting Junebugs two scores right off, with an interception that led to a field goal and a blocked punt returned for a TD. But Whooperville put together big drives of their own to help withstand the Spitter comeback. Whooperville QB Dave Reckning was more efficient, completeing 24 of 37 passes for 300 yards and a TD, while Kootsville's Jackson Kings completed 22 of 42 for 383 yards and a TD and 2 interceptions. Junebug RB June Buggy gained 96 yards and scored 2 TDs and WR Stan Back caught 9 passes for 130 yards. Spitter TE Rusty Hinges caught 11 passes for 201 yards and a TD. The win put Whooperville suddenly in contention for the Little 10.

Bunyan 29, Mountain Valley 28

November 13
"Iron" Mike Lowes, RB for unranked Bunyan, rushed for 107 yards and a TD, and had 3 receptions for 22 yards and a TD. It was a game of surges, with Bunyan scoring two TDs first, for 13-7 lead at half. Then #14 Mountain Valley scored three TDs in a row to lead 28-16 by the 4th. Bunyan then rallied to win. MV RB Avery Goodboy had 14 rushes 132 yards TD, 3 catches for 25 yards. QB Peter Andy Woolf had 225 yards and 2 TDs passing.

State Pen 29, Kootsville Tech 28

November 13
Two big conference showdowns with the same score on this date. Upton O'Good, QB of #4 State Pen, had 8 rushes for 81 yards and a TD, and completed 22 of 36 passes for 271 yards and 3 TDs with one interception. #6 Kootsville Tech led 21-7 at half, then the Convicts rallied to tie. The Spitters were ahead in 4th, then Stat Pen came back with a TD and a 2-point conversion, O'Good running it in. Kootsville QB Jackson Kings had 294 yards, 3 TDs passing; TE Rusty Hinges 9 catches for 122 yards and a TD; RB Roman Round 90 yards and a TD rushing.

HPEMC 33, Mountain Valley 28

November 20
Buck Naked, WR for #14 HPEMC, had 9 catches for 137 yards and a TD. The Sled Dogs took the 10-Clan title, returned to the Eucalyptus Leaf Bowl, and knocked the #17 Choirboys out of the postseason tournament. HPEMC built up a 27-7 lead by the beginning of the 3rd. Mountain Valley rallied to 28-30 in the 4th. Then the Sled Dogs scored another FG and preserved the win. Both QBs, Mountain Valley's Peter Andy Woolf and HPEMC's Cary Burden, passed for 312 yards. HPEMC RB Wolfgang Rape rushed for 86 and 2 TDs.

DeSade S&M 16, Northwestsoutheastern 19

November 20
Upson Downs, WR of #2 Nwse, had 9 catches for 103 yards and a TD. The Fighting Pacifists won the Pack, and finished the season undefeated. It was 6-6 at half, then #3 DeSade built a 16-7 lead. In the 4th quarter, Nwse scored, failed at a 2-point try, then recovered an onsides kick, and got another TD for the final score. Leathermen WR Dresden Black had 10 catches for 113 yards.

Toilet Bowl: Kootsville Tech 28, #7 Lady Warship 23

November 27
#6 Kootsville Tech may have felt an uncomfortable sense of deja vu, as they put up 28 points but had #7 Lady Warship strike back. The Spitters lost the Little 10 Conference title by virtue of a 29-28 defeat to State Pen, whose QB Upton O'Good, after leading the Convicts to the necessary touchdown, ran for the deciding 2-point conversion. Late in the 3rd quarter here, QB Heller Highwater led the Fighting Seamen on an 83-yard drive with passes including a 19-yarder to WR Lou Swimmen and the 1-yard TD to WR Gustav Wend, to make it 21-16, Kootsville. Lady Warship failed on a two-point attempt, which would have put them within a FG of Kootsville, what could've been the good sign that this game was not going the way of the State Pen one. But after the Spitters scored on the following drive, on a bruising 15-yard run by RB Roman Round, the Seamen scored again with a blitzkrieg. It took them just 6 plays to go 86 yards, this time, Highwater completing 4 of 5 passes on the drive, including a 29-yarder to Swimmen and a 33-yarder to Wend. The TD was an 11-yarder to Swimmen. Then came an onsides kick attempt, and that's where the Spitters probably got the worst of the deja vu. Kootsville recovered the kick, however, and on their first play from scrimmage, dealt the mortal blow with a 25-yard pass to TE Rusty Hinges, an amazing call, but one which paid off. The Spitters even attempted a 49-yard field goal on the last play of the game. Hinges, who scored on a 37-yard pass following a Lady Warship fumble, and after Kootsville QB Jackson Kings had been sacked for 15 yards, was named the game MVP. Hinges caught 7 passes for 130 yards and 1 TD. What Hinges and the Spitters overcame were huge performances from the Seamen. Highwater completed 22 of 29 passes for 326 yards and 3 TDs, with one interception, and rushed for 41 yards. Swimmen caught 10 passes for 139 yards and a TD, and Wend 8 for 142 and 2 TDs.

Finger Bowl: Bleeding Heart 21, Cavalry 28

November 27
#9 Bleeding Heart came close to knocking off DeSade S&M in the Punch Bowl and going to the semifinals the previous year. With league-leading receiver I.B. Long and a balanced attack, they were heavily favored over their first tournament opponent this year. The Cavalry, #13, squeaked into the tournament by virtue of tying for second in the weakest conference. But the Galloping Ghosts saved some face for the 10 Clan as they pulled off the big upset. History may have held the secret, as Cavalry had won the two previous meetings. The Ghosts outplayed the Doves as a team, but two players in particular upstaged the Dove stars. Freshman RB Russell Cattle gained 78 yards on 14 carries. His 26-yard run was the big play of a first-quarter drive to a field goal that gave Cavalry the lead first. When Bleeding Heart led 21-13 in the 4th quarter, his 18-yard TD run set up the chance for a tie with a 2-point conversion. The conversion was made by WR Orson Round, on a reception from QB Horace Sense. Round was the real breakthrough in this game, especially because Long was his opponent, and was named MVP. Round caught 12 passes for 144 yards and a TD. Long was held to only 7 catches for 78 yards. With the game at 21-21 and about 4 minutes remaining, Bleeding Heart RB Gibson Gibbs fumbled and the Ghosts recovered at the Dove 27-yard line. On the next play, Round gained 25 yards on a reception to the 2. Sense carried into the end zone on the next play, avoiding overtime and giving the Cavalry perhaps its biggest win ever.

Galactic Soup Bowl (championship): Puke 35, Our Lady 30

December 18
The 1999 Puke team was the most unlikely of their five champions. But they pulled off the biggest upset ever in a final game to claim a fifth SCAB title, which at that point was two better than Kootsville Tech and Whooperville A&M, and would stand as the most until 2013. See the full account here.

Puke 22, DeSade S&M 21

September 5
#11 Puke upsets #2 DeSade on opening day. The Leathermen scored on their first two possessions and dominated to a 21-3 halftime lead. But Puke had two long TD drives in the 3rd, scoring on the first play of the 4th to cap the second one, but failing on a 2-point play to pull within a FG. So instead they got two FGs, on each of the next two drives, then held on for the win. Puke K Nathan Yahoo was 3/3 on his attempts, and the Mess held the potent pass offense of DeSade QB Gil O'Teen and his amazing receiver corps, TE Marky DeSade, WR Dresden Black and WR Nestor Vipers, to just 166 yards passing, despite three TDs.

Puke 17, Bleeding Heart 20

October 10
The Puke team of QB Hugh Wish, TE Bud Ugly and RB Ivan Ulcer was ranked #6, but #12 Bleeding Heart came in and dominated them for three quarters, building up a 20-3 lead. Then came the explosion in the 4th, the Mess scoring a TD but missing the 2-point try, then after a failed FG attempt by the Doves, slashing 60 yards in five plays, including Wish's 14-yard TD scamper. RB Watt Sadam Funny took in for 2 this time. The Mess then recovered an onsides kick and immediately set up for a 62-yard field goal. K Nathan Yahoo was well short. Puke outgained Bleeding Heart overall, but RB Gibson Gibbs for the Doves rushed for 41 yards and a TD, and had 5 catches for 110 yards and a score.

Bleeding Heart 17, Our Lady 14

October 17
A week after knocking off Puke, Bleeding Heart, now #9, upset #3 Our Lady, who had the phenomenal backfield of Love Macon and Mel Stripper. The former busted a 31-yard run on the Johns' second play from scrimmage. After scoring on that drive, however, the Johns watched the Doves strike right back, then take the lead on a field goal. Stripper scored on a 20-yard run to get the lead back, 14-10 about 3 minutes into the 2nd quarter. Then they stood each other off until nearly the middle of the 4th. The Doves had a long drive to the Johns' 10-yard line. They turned it over on downs, but held Our Lady to three and out, then blocked the punt, setting up on the 6. Two plays later, QB Grant Wishes threw to WR I.B. Long for the TD that would prove the winner after Bleeding Heart stopped another drive.

Birddrops 19, Brimsone 21

November 7
Brimstone was ranked #6, Birddrops #12, so it wasn't all that surprising for this to be a close contest between conference rivals. What distinguished it was the way Brimstone dodged a bomb: Birddrops QB Adam Bomb. Birddrops led 10-7 at half and had the mighty backfield of Ira Pent and Dave Rath on the ropes. But Brimstone scored on two straight drives across the 3rd and 4th quarters to appear to take control, 21-10. And when the Ragin' Roosters finally put together a drive it took too long, and they were stalled out and had to kick a field goal. Then came the real excitement. Birddrops recovered the onsides kick on the Brimstone 41. Bomb threw to WR Jay Byrd for 7 yards, then to RB Burt Cy View for 10 to the Brimstone 24. On the next play, Bomb went back to pass, then ran it in to the end zone. Birddrops set up for a 2-point conversion attempt for the tie. Bomb took a step back, then ran again. He was stopped at the goal, but thought he'd held the ball across. The refs ruled he did not break the plane, and Brimstone escaped with the victory.